View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > September > 24
Monday, September 24, 2007
From: 1toughdude@badhombre.com
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Sunday Metro section of the AJC broke a story so explosive that I dropped my muffin. Just when you thought that Milton’s “Better Government through Therapy” policy was yielding results, the city suffered a devastating setback.
A campaign sign has been stolen.
Is this the story? No. The story takes place afterwards. This theft prompted an implied or otherwise less than flattering insinuation that maybe the stolen sign was removed by some mercenary for the opposition of the candidate whose name is on the sign. What followed is a phenomenon known as EMBU, or E-Mail Bowed Up.
EMBU is the electronic equivalent of two drunks at 4 a.m. throwing down their respective Budweisers and going belly to belly over the proper spelling of Lynyrd Skynyrd.
EMBU was first discovered in the early 80’s on the old “Bulletin Board” systems when dot-com investors found that you could argue without actually facing the other person and not even using your real voice. Since that time, the technique has evolved into the mainstream of e-communication. As a result, clever insults and threats have evolved but: “What we found is that many middle to upper management types are running out of effective insults and now rely on re-hashed phrases that are, frankly, not too intimidating.”
The man who suspected that someone had stolen his sign, e-mailed the candidate and is quoted as saying in part: “come down the street and knock you into next month….and call the police and tell them I’m going to do it!!”
Okay, how many of you went “Oh man……that is so corny.” Come on, it’s not like we’re watching a WWE Smackdown. “I’m going to come down the street?” Is this guy Gary Cooper? Give me a break. First he’s going to have to take off his Blackberry and then change shirts because the Masters Golf shirt he’s wearing cost $100. Who goes looking for trouble in a pair of Mark Nason men’s Nefarious leather sandals? At $249 a pair, nobody! By the time he gets his old Nike’s on, the moment is gone.
“Knock you into next month???” It’s better to knock someone into next Tuesday or maybe into next week. Not a whole month.
Finally, “and call the police first to tell them I’m gonna do it.” Even for EMBU, that’s just lame.
“Precinct Five, Sergeant Flanders speaking.”
“Uh, I wanted to let you know that I’m about to walk down the street.”
“OK, for what reason sir?”
“I’m going to hit this guy.”
“And how long will he be gone sir?”
“I’m knocking him into next month.”
“Very well sir, thanks for the head’s up.”
Sometimes the old fashion way is best. Either say it in person or don’t say it at all.
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