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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > June > 20
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Proper care and feeding of your entourage
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Have you noticed the upsurge in the number of athletes and musicians who now employ entourages? Entourage defined is: family circle; circle of friends, leader’s entourage; window frame, surrounded by slugs that won’t work.
Pacman Jones has an entourage. His entourage got into trouble the other morning, just after 4 a.m., after an argument with three other men over a dancer. Pacman is currently suspended by the NFL for his little run-ins with the law. His cell phone has three bonding companies on speed dial.
But, this isn’t about Pacman. Instead, it’s about his entourage. You may think its simple to start and maintain an entourage but in fact, the logistics can be a nightmare. What about the care and feeding of your entourage? Who does what? You need to support your entourage. Take an entourage of five for example. Here’s a breakdown of expenses.
Food $4,655 (monthly)
Other items under food and beverage $6,055
Quarters for the intake cell at the county jail $450
Bullets and lessons on how to shoot a gun holding it sideways $798
Distribution of $1 bills (x5) $1754
Retainer fee for lawyers $7,600 ($8500 for lawyeres with ponytails)
How do you try out for an entourage? Like any other sport, entourages have the minor leagues. For B, C, and D-list celebrities who really don’t get noticed, the minor-league entourage becomes valuable. For instance, if the B, C, or D-list celebrity is having dinner and nobody notices him, the clever entourage will split up and take turns walking up to the B, C, or D-list celebrity asking for autographs and thus creating curiosity among the other restaurant patrons. A good entourage can make it to the bigs in just a few years if they develop good work ethic and learn to shoot straight.
Good entourage personnel are not easy to find. The hours are obviously not 9 to 5 so it’s important that entourage members stay in shape and be ready to be in peak form between 2 and 4 a.m. The pay is low when you first get into the game. Entourage members pay their dues, sometimes for years, until they reach the A-list big leagues. They spent many nights entourage-ing at the Waffle House before they reached Club Blaze or Minxx Gentleman’s Club and Lounge in Vegas. Most A-list entourage members will tell you that they weren’t overnight sensations. Many don’t make it until the 7th or 8th gunfight.
Like tennis or competitive canasta, image is everything. That is why at least one entourage member should have a driver’s license that isn’t currently suspended. There is nothing more pitiful than your entourage taking a bus to the clubs. After all, what kind of example would that be for the kids?
Proper care and feeding of your entourage
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Have you noticed the upsurge in the number of athletes and musicians who now employ entourages? Entourage defined is: family circle; circle of friends, leader’s entourage; window frame, surrounded by slugs that won’t work.
Pacman Jones has an entourage. His entourage got into trouble the other morning, just after 4 a.m., after an argument with three other men over a dancer. Pacman is currently suspended by the NFL for his little run-ins with the law. His cell phone has three bonding companies on speed dial.
But, this isn’t about Pacman. Instead, it’s about his entourage. You may think its simple to start and maintain an entourage but in fact, the logistics can be a nightmare. What about the care and feeding of your entourage? Who does what? You need to support your entourage. Take an entourage of five for example. Here’s a breakdown of expenses.
Food $4,655 (monthly)
Other items under food and beverage $6,055
Quarters for the intake cell at the county jail $450
Bullets and lessons on how to shoot a gun holding it sideways $798
Distribution of $1 bills (x5) $1754
Retainer fee for lawyers $7,600 ($8500 for lawyeres with ponytails)
How do you try out for an entourage? Like any other sport, entourages have the minor leagues. For B, C, and D-list celebrities who really don’t get noticed, the minor-league entourage becomes valuable. For instance, if the B, C, or D-list celebrity is having dinner and nobody notices him, the clever entourage will split up and take turns walking up to the B, C, or D-list celebrity asking for autographs and thus creating curiosity among the other restaurant patrons. A good entourage can make it to the bigs in just a few years if they develop good work ethic and learn to shoot straight.
Good entourage personnel are not easy to find. The hours are obviously not 9 to 5 so it’s important that entourage members stay in shape and be ready to be in peak form between 2 and 4 a.m. The pay is low when you first get into the game. Entourage members pay their dues, sometimes for years, until they reach the A-list big leagues. They spent many nights entourage-ing at the Waffle House before they reached Club Blaze or Minxx Gentleman’s Club and Lounge in Vegas. Most A-list entourage members will tell you that they weren’t overnight sensations. Many don’t make it until the 7th or 8th gunfight.
Like tennis or competitive canasta, image is everything. That is why at least one entourage member should have a driver’s license that isn’t currently suspended. There is nothing more pitiful than your entourage taking a bus to the clubs. After all, what kind of example would that be for the kids?
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