View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > May > 10
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Let’s get back to the days of ‘normal’ crime
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Paris Hilton reportedly may spend far less than 45 days in county jail for violating probation. Apparently the authorities are faced with the fact that the jails are overcrowded. The answer is not to put people in them. They started this trend back in 1995 with O.J. Simpson.
A spokesperson for the sheriff’s department said: “Paris will be treated like any other inmate who’s classified as a low-level security risk. This means that she has to be back from the clubs at midnight.”
Last year, “Lost” actress Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating probation after her drunken driving arrest in Hawaii. She was released in hours because of overcrowding. “Oh my God,” she cried, “That was the worst 45 minutes of my life!”
It’s crazy! Where can we go to get back to being normal? Of all places, a fight broke out on the opening night at the Boston Pops. Two guys got into a semi-sort-of-fight (Let’s just say it wasn’t Chuck Norris up there) up in the balcony. Witnesses said the fight started after and argument over musical differences of opinion on what period was most influential to most modern-era classical musicians.
One of the men suggested Classicism, from 1750 to 1820, was the most influential age of classical music. The other guy said it was Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird” era. The actual fighting broke out over when to flick the lighter and hold it up. The fighting was so lame that the cops just kicked them out without charging them. I’ve been to the symphony. It is very nice but could use more drum solos.
Thanks to phone cameras and video, the Internet is full of fights and rowdy behavior. It shows how stupid people can get, especially with booze. It also destroys the myth that movies and television created over the years as to how people actually fight. In the movies they hit each other with chairs and head-butt and hit guys across the room with their fists. They all look like Ali with the quick and devastating punches. In real life it’s a bit on the sloppy slide. In real life your punch to the head is usually costly. The most common injury resulting in fights are hand injuries. There are about 27 bones in there and they don’t stand up too well against thick jaw bones and skulls.
The other thing about television and movie fights is that the fighters connect on every swing. In real life it’s more miss than hit, especially with drunk guys. Drunks are just swinging away without a clue. Most of the time they just tire out. I saw one drunk try to head-butt the other guy but he missed and went straight down, head-butting the fender of a Olds Cutlass.
Chill out folks. Why waste a good night fighting like a couple of old hens in the balcony when you can be listening to a concerto, whether it’s violin, cello, or piano, it’s relaxing. It may not be “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” but it’s better than breaking all those hand bones, connected to the arm bones and so on.
