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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > April > 10 > Entry
Gambling on an appreciation of satire
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Just when they thought they were the 17th safest city in the nation, the citizens of Roswell, known for trendy and cute subdivision names as well as bow ties and brick, were shocked to learn 27 people were arrested and charged with various gambling violations following a six-month long investigation into complaints that “gambling nights” were being conducted inside their city limits.
A police spokesperson, said they were tipped off by a number of people who complained of unusual activity in the fashionable and safe community. Such activity including large numbers of cars parked along the roadway, trolleys and shuttle buses operating, late-night deliveries from “Poker Chips R Us” and a nightly midnight quarter-mile horse races around the fashionable neighborhood block.
Detectives said this was the first time they had ever seen a gambling operation this sophisticated although three years ago, several seniors from the Chattahoochee Elders Club were charged in a Chutes-and-Ladders-for-profit racket.
The six-month investigation netted persons from as far away as Savannah, and Macon. The two men from Macon said they really weren’t interested in the gambling but had tickets to see Celine Dion, who was scheduled to appear in the backyard gazebo on Saturday.
The guy from Savannah said he thought he was at a bridge convention and had come to meet Omar Sharif.
When officers entered the fashionable Roswell home, decorated in a Victorian motif, with a very smart Exquisite Angelic Innocence Sculpture, they immediately noticed a bar setup including an attractive Serving Cart from the Carved Furniture Collection that demonstrates true pride in fine craftsmanship and attention to detail.
Several women were serving drinks to a number of gambling tables and members of Cirque Du Soleil were doing back flips in the kitchen.
Lawyers for several of the defendants insist their clients did not attend the residence to gamble but instead were signed up for the third shift “Tour of Homes.”
The question now becomes whether or not Parma, Ohio, ranked 18th safest city in the nation, will have a shot at moving up. A spokesman for the Parma said: “We can’t worry about what they’re doing. We have to take things day by day and keep our cops focused on our game. It’s a team effort here in Parma and it’s a long season until the next Morgan Quitno Awards. Anything can happen. We’re just trying to keep our staff healthy and on the streets putting up those good numbers day to day.”
A neighbor, speaking from her slightly opened windowed door of colored glass first used in the houses and villas of wealthy Romans and in the palaces of the emperors in the first century, told reporters “It’s not a door, it’s an entryway!” She then closed the entryway but soon reopened it, for effect. She said that she thought it was odd when the owners of the house spent the winter remodeling the home. The end result looked strikingly like the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. One officer admitted “The tiny water show in the bidet was awesome.”
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Comments
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By Liberal Drive-by
April 10, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this
Excellent satirical piece. That’s funny!
By lulu
April 10, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this
I would have gone, but the neon lights and old ladies smoking cigarettes while playing slots always distract me.
By Larry, the Dish TV guy
April 10, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this
Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are………..
By Scott Case
April 10, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this
His piece is funny. Larry the Cable Guy is a moron
By HAHAHA
April 10, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this
That was damn funny!!!!! Do we get to see pics?
By Scott
April 10, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this
Is this really worth a 6 month investigation? Is this where our tax dollars go? What a waste of tax dollars and police resources. Surely, there was some more serious crime that warranted the effort this got. What next? Tickets for jaywalking? Arresting more escorts opertaing from their homes?
By amy
April 10, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this
I say does roswell police not have anything better to do but bust people playing texas hold’em? They do have gangs they could be doing something about. but they rather bust people that have more money than since.
By Correction
April 10, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this
more money than sense!!
By Michelle
April 10, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this
I’m from Parma, Ohio! That’s pretty funny!
By Michelle
April 10, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this
I’m from Parma, Ohio! That’s pretty funny!
By JJ
April 10, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this
Unfortunately, gambling is against the law. But then again so is speeding.
Of course Roswell PD has more important things to do. However, when the uber-rich start complaining, something HAS to be done immediately. Can’t have Muffy and Babs driving past all those cars every Monday night on the way home from the nail salon. But then again, they were probably upset they weren’t invited……..
By Lt. Steve
April 10, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this
I’m sure the city officials in Lilburn are saying “See that??!! How many of them bars have trivia and karaoke!! I knew we would prevail!!
By LT. DAN
April 10, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this
It should be legal now since the gambling on the lottery drawings and gambling on scratch offs is now legal… right?
By Emily
April 10, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this
Sodomy is against the law, too, but you don’t see the Roswell PD arresting people for that.
By Sweat
April 10, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this
JJ hit it first
Someone was p** off they did not get Invited
Dan hit it second
The state is not getting their cut
Complete waste of resources if it took 6 MONTHS! to bring this down. What an embarrassment.
By Sheila
April 10, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this
Only if they’re playing cards for money, WHILE committing sodomy.
By Nice
April 10, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this
Pretty un-professional to make like of fellow officers doing their job AND doing it well…criminal activity leads to criminal activity, these “underground gambling houses” go on until they get robbed, a violent crime takes place on the premises or the police break them up…it may seem light but I will bet the folks that live in that “fashionalbe subdivision” are quite greatful to the police officers for DOING THEIR JOB…the revenues from fines can go twards the city budget and will hopefully trickle down to more law enforcement…I guess maybe they should have been out hosting blogs or appearing on TV
By Filbert
April 10, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this
OMYGOSH!!! First it was the Barbie Bandits, then Sunday alcohol sales and now … GAMBLING. It’s as plain as the face on my nose that this is yet another sign that civilization is going to heck in a handbasket and I can’t wait to see what’s next. Kudos to the Roswell PD for spending 6 wholemonths to investigate such a vicious threat to society. Bet this would never happen in the City of Milton….
By LoveIt
April 10, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this
This is wonderful. Thank you for brightening up my day.
By chris
April 10, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this
That was really funny! And to think that I am moving from Sandy Springs to Rosell in search of a better enviornment! Ha Ha!!
By DidYaKnow?
April 10, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this
Did ya know that the GBI, Fulton County DA, and DTFA were involved in this raid? This was not a bunch of buddies having a party it was an illegal casino advertising on the internet….Did ya know that weapons and drugs were siezed on premise? Did ya know that the activity had already resulted in street fights and burglaries? Did ya? huh? Did ya?
By John
April 10, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this
I was born in Parma Ohio, and moved to Roswell when I was 7. I have been back to Parma several times, it is still the kind of place you can leave your doors open at night.
By Shame
April 10, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this
Shame on you, you have changed. I am done here.
By TechWreck
April 10, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this
What other laws do you feel the police shouldn’t arrest people for? Pathetic.
By HB Ando
April 10, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this
It’s not too hard to figure out who has a sense of humor here, and who does not……..
By GT
April 10, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this
Today the blond preacher we see dressed to the nines at all the Tech football games and Chastain concerts, parades in front of the Roswell home yelling for repentance. Passer bys take pictures and blades of grass as sovereigns of the crime of the century. A child sells lemonade putting a large dent into his college fund while a Roswell policeman puts his nose in the pitcher to make sure it is absent of alcohol. Bush is scheduled to make a speech on national television tonight swearing to attack the country responsible for this. A drawing at 6 will determine our enemy. Jerry Falwell will be the special guest selected for the drawing. In the meanwhile it is just in that Don Imus ‘s cowboy hat was found at the scene raising suspicions of racial overtones. Jesse Jackson will make his personal announcement following the president’s.
By rlprofessional
April 10, 2007 3:38 PM | Link to this
Damm, I needed to attend this one…
How much money did the Roswell Cops pocket?
By Dumbing Down
April 10, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this
Thank god it didn’t occur on Sunday! The gambling lightning is out of the bottle! To eradicate it we must stop showing poker games on television… and while we’re at it… let’s stop the drinking on the next six days of the week. Crime-fighting at its finest! Proud to be a citizen of Georgia!
By spankey
April 10, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this
come to Cincinnati for some real cop action. up here gambling is can you get in the house by nightfall and how many bullets can you dodge getting in the ouse
By spankey
April 10, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this
correction in the house
By babylove
April 10, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this
I was very appalled that some genious person or persons would do this, the idoits, why couldn’t they find some land out of city where there is no traffic or neighborhoods, and run it the way you want it. Some unthinking was not put into their business, I hope that you kept some money somewhere for your arrest and jail time you will need it..I just wish in my neighborhood we could stand together to have all of the desirable relocated, but guns kill people.
By Lt. Steve
April 10, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this
Nice, What part makes fun of the cops? I just like the scenario. Read it through next time.
By JB
April 10, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this
Steve — Absolutely hilarious piece. I am amazed at some of the bloggers who don’t get it. They must not have much ‘since’ or they are ‘idoits’. Apparently they are not very ‘greatful’ of the way you can relate the life of a cop to the average citizen. Generally I am not a fan of the police but your articles help me look at cops in a different light. These guys were complete morons. I could care less about people playing poker for money but if you’re going to be plain stupid about it, you deserve to be arrested.
By volstar
April 10, 2007 5:18 PM | Link to this
You would think the cops could make better use of their time. Cops used to protect us and somehow that has changed into what we have today, with ticket quotas and shooting old women.
By Sarge
April 10, 2007 6:07 PM | Link to this
I did see the humor of your article but I do have a concern. You commenting in a public forum about a criminal case that you have no immediate knowledge of is very inappropriate. You are a police officer and you should know that we need to work together to keep the up the public confindence in our work. As a veteran cop myself, I would never make public “jokes” about another officer’s case. I usually enjoy and appreciate your article but this one irrated me a great bit. You passing information to the public about staying safe and not being a victim is a real asset and for that you do a good job. But I think you crossed the line on this one and you owe the Roswell Officers that worked a long 6 months on this case a public appology. As you can read by the other comments that several other citizens joined in the bashing of Roswell’s hard work that your started. I must point out that we must enforce the loitering or jaywalking because those can be the begining of street level drug sales, robberies, and possible homicides. I know the public will never understand the “method to our madness” but we are trying to make the best cases that we can for the overall public good. Eventhough the public will not appreciate the majority of our work.
By Chief Wiggum
April 10, 2007 6:42 PM | Link to this
NEXT UP:
Using sex toys for purposes other than “education” and sodomy. We have been involved in a long, grueling 6-month investigation, which means we spent a LOT of time hanging around the local Starship, and peeping in a lot of windows looking for scofflaws.
We’re here to enforce the laws, folks, we don’t write them. If you’ve been visiting the local Love Shack or Inserrection, you better be using those lifelike items for “educational purposes”, or we’ll be hauling you in.
Likewise, you better be engaging in conventional sex. If you’ve been kissing it, or taking the Hershey Highway, you’ve been breaking the LAW.
Just doing our part to make Roswell a safer place to live.
By Chief Wiggum
April 10, 2007 6:49 PM | Link to this
Sarge:
Thanks for having our backs. I know the boys appreciate it.
Next donut is on me, good man. Remember that, and see you at the Dunkin Donuts on Holcomb Bridge.
By Ron Mexico
April 10, 2007 6:55 PM | Link to this
I’m telling you now, there were no poker chips in the secret compartment of my water bottle.
And it’s a good thing I wasn’t in John’s Creek, or they would have taxed me on my winnings.
By Paul
April 10, 2007 7:43 PM | Link to this
What a complete waste of time and resources. Did the police decide to raid the game after a big loss at the table? I bet those in the high-crime, drug trafficing areas of Roswell feel much safer now that rich poker players have been safely locked away. With all the drug dealing and robberies going on in Roswell this use of police resources disgusts me.
By Cayo
April 10, 2007 8:09 PM | Link to this
Next Monday, meet at the high school parking lot, board the Fur Party Bus with one of a kind boarding passes to make the neighbors happy.
By JR
April 10, 2007 8:20 PM | Link to this
The only reason this is even illegal is because it doesn’t bring in any money to the local, state, or national government like the lottery, dog races, or Las Vegas. I guarantee a LARGE majority of the police officers in Roswell and Georgia for that matter have played cards for money or bet on sporting events before. This is a HUGE waste of 6 months of public funds and resources!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Steve
April 10, 2007 9:04 PM | Link to this
JR = Wrong.
First off, this was a hilarious write up by the original author.
Sadly though, most people only see this as gambling. Did you eve consider the neighbors might not have known? Maybe they thought it was an escort service, drugs or who knows what else. They call the cops and the bust commences.
Not only that, cars parked all over the street create issues for seeing children running in the neighborhood. Anyone who has seen a child or pet run out from behind a parked car while playing and not paying attention can attest to the danger cars parked all over the street can produce. Not to mention emergency vehicles having to navigate the parked cars when seconds could matter between life and death for someone else in the neighborhood.
Last but not least, large scale gambling can and does invite other sorts of problems. We are talking about 20-30 people here. It’s not unusual for someone to lose their temper and things to go nuts, or possibly some gang that you mentioned finds out about a house full of cash and starts shooting up a neighborhood.
Sorry folks, gambling is illegal for a much bigger reason than the government wanting a slice of the pie. Anyone who believes otherwise is simply not thinking of the broader picture.
For my part … thank you Roswell PD.
By carlos
April 10, 2007 9:17 PM | Link to this
what a bunch of crock, u spent 6 months investigating some guys playing poker and found some ecstasy on them and a hand gun in their car. U never mentioned if the guns had permits if they did it makes this even more ridiculous. And the chief and sarge and other officers wonder why we make fun of this, because the swat team busting in, the impounding of cars its all going overboard as usual. As usual you use storm trooper tactics to intimidate. U dont serve the public, u never have , u serve yourselfes and whoever u are making money and deals on the side with. U get no respect until u deserve it. Oh, and i love the officer saying jaywslking leads to more serious crimes, u guys are really out of touch.
By JR=Right On
April 10, 2007 9:27 PM | Link to this
MONEY is the ONLY reason this is illegal. Kids are not out at 11pm running between cars! My neighborhood and many others has cars parked on the street every weekend. Parties at most houses have much more than 20-30 people at a time, more than that gather at the local lottery outlet downtown on the day of the lottery drawing - I’m sure that many more fights have broken out in a lottery line downtown than at a poker game.
By Ben
April 11, 2007 12:34 AM | Link to this
The main point that should be taken from this is that if people want to gamble, they should be allowed to. The “danger” from streetfights and burglaries and drugs and weapons came about because the state continues to apply a double standard to gambling. If you want to buy a lottery ticket, you can do it anywhere, but if you want to play a little poker, you have to hide in such a way that attracts criminals like moths to a flame. Legalize all gambling and you solve three problems: 1. No more double standards and hypocrisy in the law 2. No more wasting taxpayer money hunting down people who are doing exactly what I and many other citizens enjoy doing, and watch on TV all the time 3. No more illicit underground poker games which attract criminals… I realize criminals are also attracted to casinos in Vegas, but since gambling is legal there, they can have the sort of security that is impossible in an underground game
The downsides of legalizing gambling? I’m sure there are some, but since the lottery is legal and betting on horse racing on the internet is legal, then I guess the government considers the downsides of gambling to be negligible.
By Lee
April 11, 2007 7:49 AM | Link to this
Sarge, re *”…we must enforce the loitering or jaywalking because those can be the begining of street level drug sales, robberies, and possible homicides.”
You don’t suppose that in the police’s SIX MONTH investigation they happened to notice the 15 crews of ILLEGAL ALIENS cutting grass, do you? Why don’t you focus your energy on that? Oh, that’s right, there ain’t no money in arresting illegal aliens.
If you read Lt. Steve’s column very much, you know that one of his pet themes is to poke fun at stupid criminals. I think anyone who runs a high stakes poker game out of their house and advertizes it on the internet might fall into that category. Much less the 20 or so cars parked out in front.
Why don’t you pull your panties out of your crack, spit the donut out, and go check up on some of those “day laborers” down at the convenience store. Make yourself useful.
By Bubba, Jr.
April 11, 2007 8:08 AM | Link to this
Some people just won’t listen. I told those guys that all of the cars parked up and down the street would attract attention and that we should be using clown cars instead…
By skyspy
April 11, 2007 8:09 AM | Link to this
If they had been in Fayette County they could have used the “but we were binge drinking” excuse. They would have gotten off lite with that one.
They should have declared the home an Indian Reservation….then the gambling would have been leagal.
Steve, why can’t you be more understanding of criminals?
By Jimbo
April 11, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this
Steve, GREAT piece, thanks for lightening this up. I’m sure the neighbors will appreciate getting thier street back, but I think a six month investigation is a bit much. Next time they might want to leave that part out.
And Carlos, ya don’t have to have a permit to have a gun here. I think they did it more for dramatic effect than anything.
I guess they’ll just have to start growing Marijuana in the house instead-lots less traffic.
By Sarge
April 12, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this
Lee, come and do my job for a bit then you can tell me how to do my job. I don’t walk into your office or where ever it is you work and start telling you how to do whatever it is you do. How about you show a bit of respect.
Thanks for you for the common low blow of the cop and donut jokes. You think I have never heard that one before? A bit or originality would be nice.
By Tony
April 12, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this
The idiots that make fun of police officers do it because they are way too cowardly to do the job. They’re probably the same ones that call 911 from under their bed when they hear a noise in the middle of the night.
By Tony
April 12, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this
The idiots that make fun of police officers do it because they are way too cowardly to do the job. They’re probably the same ones that call 911 from under their bed when they hear a noise in the middle of the night.
By Cassie
April 12, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this
I mean, I love poker, and used to have regular tournaments, but am not so stupid as to have 20-30 people over at my house EVERY Sunday of the week.
At least tell them to park at the local church at get a bus to ferry them back and forth.
By Dana
April 12, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this
LMAO! The whole thing is funny. The article is very well written, and gave me a very good laugh - but the real comedy is in the responses here…. HA HA HA, thank GOD I have a sense of humour!
By Lee
April 12, 2007 7:56 PM | Link to this
Sarge, got under your skin, did I? Good.
The big difference between my job and yours is that I don’t get paid with taxpayer money. You do. As a taxpayer, I have the right to commend or criticize public servants as I see fit. You opened this salvo by criticizing the author of this blog for commenting on an arrest that is public knowledge and was plastered all over the newspapers and internet.
When police work gets back to public safety and stops being about generating revenue, maybe police officers will get more respect. We’ve got 20-30 MILLION lawbreakers in this country, many of whom pose a very real threat to public safety, and the police do nothing. Do something about that for a change.
Tony, Idiots , Cowards? Hmm, with an attitude like that, I certainly hope you’re not a cop. I fear you are, though. Typical badge on your chest and a55 on your shoulders type.
By Rainey Day
April 13, 2007 1:44 AM | Link to this
Well at least somebody finally took the spotlight off those poor call girls at the Sugarloaf mansion It is really getting hard to earn an indecent living around here.
By Bob
April 13, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this
Still laffing. Thank goodness due to great police work Roswell was able to break this up after only six months….. look who couldn’t figure out the “Poker Palace” wasn’t a Mom and Pop grocery store????
By Turtle
April 13, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this
Those of us around town who know the game and players personally know that SO MUCH of what was reported by police and local media was either grossly exaggerated or entirely FALSE ! Yes, there were adults playing cards and enjoying dinner and conversation together - - every monday. And they exchanged money with each other - - Oh My !! All this “dangerous” camraderie occurred without any incident - EVER - not even so much as a loud argument ever broke out. Just a few extra cars on the street, mostly after everyone was home and asleep anyway. I wonder what the vigilant police would have done if they discovered all the parked cars were there for a weekly bible study meeting ??? I guess the good news is they must have run out of any real crime in Atlanta if they turned so much attention to this “six month investigation.” I generally respect and appreciate cops, as they do a job that is often so unappreciated, but this was a COLLOSSAL display of poor judgment by whoever initiated this “investigation” and “raid”. Come on, people.
By Tony
April 13, 2007 8:13 PM | Link to this
Yes I am a police officer. I wasn’t talking about people in general, just people like Carlos. People like him are pretty much clueless. I have respect for people and I treat people the way that I would want to be treated unless they show me otherwise. For the part of the population who think tickets are about revenue, that’s funny. I don’t write tickets for people not stopping for stopped schoolbuses, speeding, running red lights for the sake of revenue, it is all about public safety. I could care less about revenue. Lt. Rose, you have a great column, keep up the good work.
By Tony
April 13, 2007 9:27 PM | Link to this
I almsot forgot. Lee, you’re probably the type that hides under your bed armed with a deadly cellphone.
By Neo
April 13, 2007 10:15 PM | Link to this
Great stuff.
By Lee
April 14, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this
“I almsot forgot. Lee, you’re probably the type that hides under your bed armed with a deadly cellphone.”
LMAO Tony, that all you can come up with?
You don’t think its about the revenue? Go ask your Chief what would happen if no one wrote any traffic tickets for one month.
By Tony
April 14, 2007 7:49 PM | Link to this
I think I’ll go back to just reading Lt. Rose’s articles. I get a headache trying to justify anything to morons.
By Rick
April 15, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this
When are we going to stop legislating morality? Great piece, Steve. However, I must admit that as a resident of Roswell, I do feel much safer.
By Jenn
April 16, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this
Thank you for writing this!! Made my whole day
By MrLiberty
April 17, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this
I’m sorry but what exactly makes the residents of Roswell any less safe because people are playing cards for money in one of their neighborhoods?
Bottom line folks is that this is about the government not getting a piece of the action. It is not enough that the government has stolen 40-50% of this money in income and other taxes from these folks. Now, because some of this money is going to change hands over a card game the government feels it is entitled to even more of it.
When are we going to say enough is enough?
I mean if the government can run a horribly lopsided game like lotto with odds that would put any casino out of business, what is the problem with anyone else gambling as they see fit?
High time we threw those greedy scumbags out of the gold dome.
By RIGHT SIDE OF THE LAW SALLEY
April 21, 2007 2:51 AM | Link to this
While this all night weekly gambling game may seem harmless, itwas a public spectical in a very nice neighbor hood where individuals known as “Disco Inferno”, “Dirty Dan”, and “Serge” ran a very profitable ($10,000.00 a month minimum profit) ILLEGAL operation where an individual carried a gun, possesed numerous types of illegal narcotics (steroids, cocaine, marijuana). What though is most offensive is that several active professional baseball players ( current and former Braves), owners of business in the Johns Creek Roswell area and LAW ENFORCEMENT Officers were known to have attended this game and another in the immed. area. Moreover, these games of chance and luck are prime for violent robberies which could endanger other members of the neighbor hood and responding police officers. It was a good thing and the right thing that this game was shut down.