View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > February > 05
Monday, February 5, 2007
Police-eese: Language of the police people
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The AJC recently did an article about how police officers talk another language and how we seem to use long and almost unnecessary words that could be more easily summed up in shorter and more understandable words, like bad guys and good guys. Well they’re probably right.
Most of it comes from report writing so that we give a minimal amount of information to the other side on the initial reports. My reports were so strict that I eventually stopped writing them. I found that many cases can be lost this way.
Over time, we’ve fallen into the habit of using this “official” police language in the presence of others, namely media and anyone else we don’t know well.
We realize that it’s borderline silliness. You would think we were getting paid by the syllable. I’ve tried to reduce the amount of PGL* that I use. I’ve seen myself on television using those words. It just isn’t me. There is an expectation that we use some PGL but I try to keep it to a minimum.
TERMS AND OTHER BITS
Subject: Someone who may be a future suspect but not right now. Suspect: We have a good idea you’re not on the up and up. Perpetrator (Perp): Bad guy Former Perpetrator: Now known as “usual suspect” CI (Confidential Informant): (See former perp or perp) Victim: Someone we think innocently got the wrong end of the deal. Victims who report crimes but whom we believe may be involved in something are eventually subjects. Victims can be reclassified as subjects, suspects, and perps. Rarely is it the other way around.
THE ACTION OF A CRIME
Perpetrators produce or brandish or produce weapons but rarely do they pull weapons.
Victims, however, can pull a weapon. If they produced a weapon, they either caught the victim by surprise or know magic.
If the weapon is new or very shiny then it is brandished. Perps never brandish old or dull weapons. If a perp attempts to brandish an old weapon, we charge him with Improper Brandishing. A perp could use his fists as a weapon but we never say “The perpetrator brandished his fists.”
Other than the production of weapons, the only other accepted production of an item is the bank note. Bank robbers produce bank notes. Bank notes are usually produced on blank pieces of paper or sometimes the suspect’s deposit slip. (See Inmate.)
TRANSPORTATION
Suspects use vehicles. They elude. When they’re unsuccessful, they attempted to elude. We give them credit for the attempt. However, unless they complete the action, it goes down as an attempt only. A successful eluding of a police car is known as “managed to elude,” making it sound like it was difficult. We hate to lose.
The suspect vehicle is known as the SV. If the SV is an SUV, it’s a SVSUV or Suvsuv. Saying “Direction of Travel” sounds better than pointing and saying, “They probably went that way.” We use Direction of Travel because the Department of Transportation would get mad if we used the acronym D.O.T. in the same sentence as perp.
We often refer to the car as a “late model sedan.” This means we have no idea what kind of car it was.
THE ARREST
We like to “facilitate an arrest.” We provide the circumstance and we call this the facility and then we facilitate the arrest. We could say, “We arrested the guy,” but “facilitate” brings into play an upscale motif. “Apprehend” is better received than “caught.” You catch fish. You don’t apprehend them.
THE END OF THE ROAD
And finally, public information officers and others will be called upon to refer to one’s death and announce that someone has died. It is probably here that we should shoot straight because in death like nowhere else, it is what it is. There is no way to make it something that it is not. Even in description, it is painfully obvious when someone has died. To dress it up in terms that describes it other than what it really is, is like putting perfume on a pig. You ain’t fooling anybody. This person who was living has died. He or she didn’t expire as if they had an option to but failed to renew themselves like a subscription.
There are so many ways not to describe dying. Among them are:
Discontinued; not currently among us; breathing-challenged; sleeps with the fishes; ceases to live (I actually heard that one), or my favorite —“not currently showing any vital signs,” as if they occasionally may, at some point, decide to start showing them again.
10-4
*Police Goober Language
Crime & Punishment
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Someone broke though a wall and entered a nude-dance club at 6420 Roswell Road and took an unknown amount of money as well as damaged the ATM machine, cigarette, and the G-string machine. A television was stolen. Yes, a G-string machine.
Writing a good robbery note A man walked into a hotel on Peachtree Dunwoody Road and handed a note to the clerk that read “Hand over the register.” The clerk said he didn’t understand the note but thought the man meant for him to hand over the register drawer. The clerk refused and walked away from the man and into an office. He said the man pulled out a white bag with his hand inside it as if he had a gun. The suspect then fled the location.
Tip: If you’re going to rob someone you need to be clear what it is you want. You can’t demand the register. It’s too heavy and will cause a lot of commotion. You need to take your time and write clearly on the note, making sure you press down hard with your thumb when you write it as not to allow the paper to slide around. After you present the note, just leave it. You won’t need it after that anyway.
Shoplifting series
Part I A 26-year old man was arrested for shoplifting at Target on Johnson Ferry Road after placing CD in his pants and attempting to walk out without paying.
Part 2 A 23-year old male was arrested at the same Target after he hid four CD’s in his pants and attempted to leave the store without paying.
Part 3 A 42-year old man was arrested at Publix on Hammond Drive after he took two-24-packs of beer and walked right past the checkout area. He did not put the beer down his pants. He was followed. He tried to run. But beer weighs you down, so they caught him and he was sent to jail.

