View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2006 > November > 06 > Entry
Crime & Punishment
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A 30-year-old really not smart guy went to Lowe’s and put some saw blades in the FRONT of his PANTS and tried to leave the store without paying. An employee saw this and confronted the man. They struggled. The suspect cut his—uh, leg. He was arrested. He gave the officer a false name. The officer did not believe him. The officer checked and found the man’s real name was something else. Something else was wanted on two outstanding warrants; one for drugs in Barrow County and one for Felony Escape in Gwinnett. The almost-anatomically affected man was arrested.
Window into criminal mind
Two guys, ages each 23, were arrested for Possession of Cocaine and Marijuana after they were pulled over after a traffic violation on Dunwoody Place. The two attempted to throw the drugs out of the window. The officer, behind the car, saw it and arrested them. Many times criminals believe that drugs disappear once thrown out the window. (See “magical invisible place�)
Gee, a greedy crook Someone attempted to cash a check for over $36,000 using the victim’s name and personal information. Another check was attempted in the amount of just over $24,000. (This is a good example of how crooks get too greedy and, therefore, flag themselves. $30,000 is a lot of money and bank employees will immediately scrutinize the check and verification process.
Doubt they’d qualify for the mortgage The victim reported several items were stolen from her bedroom. The house has been on the market and several people have been inside the home recently.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Sergeant's Wife
November 6, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this
Thanks for the stupid criminals report! Love your column. From a police sergeant’s wife, thanks for all your hard work.
By OFFICER'S WIFE
November 6, 2006 11:37 AM | Link to this
THANKS FOR THE STUPID CRIMINALS - THANKS TO ALL THE OFFICERS - KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND BE SAFE
By Jennifer
November 6, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this
Ah, nothing like kicking off a Monday by reading about the stupidity of others. Thanks!
By Brenda
November 6, 2006 1:13 PM | Link to this
Steven- I really enjoy reading your VIEW FROM A COP. Some of the crimes that are comitted on our streets has to do with a lack of knowledge and/or no respect for the laws. However there are ocasions when there is no crime but punishment still exist. In which case Steve I can always count on you to give your opinion to the matter. Good Luck and continue to keep the public informed. Thanks,
By The Way
November 6, 2006 2:18 PM | Link to this
It was very funny. But you missed one. The line should have been, “The still-anatomically-correct suspect was arrested.”
Why is that a better line? Because the term, “anatomically correct” is in the lexicon and in the back of everybody’s mind and always a great reference. I cant explain it any better than that. Whenever there’s a generic term like that, go for it.
But funny, funny great stuff!!!!
By Bob
November 6, 2006 2:59 PM | Link to this
As a retired State Felony Probation Officer, I want you to know that I never had anyone on probation for being too smart.
By Bob
November 6, 2006 3:00 PM | Link to this
As a retired State Felony Probation Officer, I want you to know that I never had anyone on probation for being too smart.
By The Other Way
November 6, 2006 6:31 PM | Link to this
Hey BTW, Steve’s version is much better, it notes he was almost affected in an anatomic way and played the phrase against your anatomically-correct. Great work Steve!
By Michelle
November 7, 2006 9:37 AM | Link to this
Even smart people do stupid things, if they’re desperate, or motivated by greed, like Martha Stewart.
By The Sad Truth
November 8, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this
Great stuff! Your column always brings a smile and reminds me of how dumb crooks can be. Keep it up!!
By Lt. Steve
November 9, 2006 6:12 PM | Link to this
Okay, I had another way of putting that but it’s not readable in this format. I miss the drunk guys (Not ‘drunken’ Todd) Drunk! Drunk guys hit each other on the head with beer bottles. They get drunk and ‘nekid.’ You guys have a great Veteran’s Day! Hide the laptops.
By Lee
November 9, 2006 9:30 PM | Link to this
Sawblades down the pants… Reminds me of my all-time favorite dumb crook story published about 15 years ago in Shooting Times magazine.
According to the story, it seems that Mr. Hungry tried to shoplift a live Maine lobster by, yes, stuffing it down his trousers. Mr. Lobster somehow freed his claws and began working on Mr. Hungry’s family jewels. When the police and EMT’s arrived, Mr. Hungry was thrashing about the sidewalk in excruciating pain. My favorite quote was made by the shop owner who declined to press charges, saying “I think he’s suffered enough.”
I Xerox’d a copy of that story and kept it for years. Always worth a good laugh when I showed it to someone.
By Political Foreskin
November 10, 2006 9:53 AM | Link to this
I didn’t know lobsters ate shrimp.