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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2006 > September > 29 > Entry
Predicting the weekend’s activities
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Folks, the weekend is upon us. This means that on Monday, I’ll have a three-inch stack of reports that will document the weekend’s activities. These activities will include guys who drink too much and then attempt to make important decisions based on false assumptions. Here are some: 1. That girl over there really digs me. 2. That big guy, with that girl over there who digs me, won’t really mind if I sit down between them. 3. I’ve got to be at work in three hours. That leaves two for drinking and one to sober up. 4. I’ve got to be at work in thirty minutes. That leaves fifteen for sobering up and fifteen to change out of these clothes I just threw up on. 5. I’m sure I can drive. I just can’t find my car. 6. I’m almost home and I think this is my car. 7. Cops don’t really mind you passing them on the interstate as long as you wave. 8. I think my ex-girlfriend really wouldn’t mind if I dropped in after last call. 9. I’m pretty sure that’s a girl I’m winking at over there at the end of the bar. 10. I doubt anyone noticed I’ve wet my pants.
Comments
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By docmm7
September 30, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this
Thanks for the column. Really enjoy those dumb crook stories; it's no wonder he jails are full. I still have an old bumper sticker- "If you don't like the police next time you need help call a crackhead".Keep up the good work.By Jezebelle
October 1, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this
ROTFLOL - you so described the inner workings of a drunken dude ! DEAD ON !
Great job !
By KJill
October 11, 2006 7:55 PM | Link to this
You forgot #11 - My girlfriend saw my car parked outside the home of ‘that girl over there really digs me’, but she will know that I was just there, at 3:00 AM, to give her a ride to 11:00 AM Sunday church service.