View from the cop: Crime & punishment
View from the Cop is moving to a new site on Wordpress. Blogger Steve Rose of the Sandy Springs Police Department gives his take on crime, offers safety tips and give his weekly picks from the police blotter. Follow Steve Rose to the new blog site.
AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2006 > August > 14
Monday, August 14, 2006
Handymen: These guys can fix all my problems!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I won the Spanish Lotto for the third time.
What am I still doing here at work? I should be home returning that winning e-mail. All I have to do is send my account number to the official lottery guy (I know he’s official because he had a long title and some sort of letters after his name) and within two weeks, I’m $134 million richer. I asked about the two previous winnings. Apparently, they had my old address.
This really puts a crimp on my daily schedule. I was going to send my bank account number to that lawyer in Manboosa so he could transfer $33 million to my account. Seems his client was the only honest guy in Manboosa and the bad guys, the government bad guys, are trying to steal his money. I get 25 percent! I already quit my extra job and I’m not so sure I’m coming to work tomorrow. I’ll probably help him out anyway.
This money will come in quite handy. Just yesterday a couple of guys told me they were riding down the street and noticed my roof was damaged. I couldn’t see a thing but they saw it because they’re trained with a keen eyes, being experts and all.
They had business cards that said, “roof experts.” They took the time to walk with me and point to things on the roof! The $5,000 that I spend now will save me $20,000 next spring. That was a stroke of luck because while we were walking, the other guy found a chip in my driveway. Did you know that one small cement chip could spread, like a crack in the windshield, so fast that in a week’s time it could turn into a sinkhole and affect ozone?
These two guys can actually fix that when they’re not fixing roofs because they’re trained in driveway problems, too.
It was a hot day, so I invited them in for some cold refreshments. One of the guys, I don’t remember if it was Mr. Jones or Smith, said that my water tasted funny. Thankfully, I was able to buy a water filter from one of them whose uncle was in the business. What in the heck is going on here? I had no idea my house was so messed up.
Well, we were standing outside talking about all the new door-dings Mr. Smith found in my car door when my neighbor came home riding on the back of a turnip truck. I guess the truck hit a bump because my neighbor fell right off. Those two guys thanked me for the bad-tasting water, gave me a card so I could call them about the new multi-level marketing idea they wanted to bring me in on, and walked over to see if my neighbor was OK.
They began to look at his roof. He must look like a suave business guy to them. I went back in the house to check my e-mail only to find that my bank account number was messed up. Fortunately, the bank was thoughtful enough to send me a notice that I needed to send my bank account number over the Internet so they could fix it.
Good timing. I don’t want my account all messed up when I get all that money from Manboosa and Spain.
