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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2006 > July > 18 > Entry
Theater of absurd
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hold the presses! Armageddon is close at hand. The president said sh—!
Is that true?
How do we adjust?
Do we panic?
I say no!
Let’s look at the facts. I think the president said sh—! on Monday. The Dow is up 8.01 post sh—! The Nasdaq is up slightly but the S&P is down 1.71. Two out of three ain’t bad.
The post-sh—! Braves are out of control! 15-3 over the Cardinals?
Holy…uh…Cow!
Quite likely, the president probably drops the sh—! more than we think. I can’t even get through a weekend home project without a whole bunch of sh—!
Honestly, if you can’t sustain a certain level of curse words under stressful situations, I think your body is required to explode. Like the president or not, I don’t think any of us want him to explode. How do we explain that? All of the conspiracy theorist would have a field day. The guys I’d feel sorry for would be the Secret Service detail.
Your career is over when you allow the president to explode. Let’s just move on with it. It’s not that big of news.
Today is Election Day. Thank you, Lord! Please let the TV ads go away now. They have been playing the TV ads now for a while and I still don’t know what the politicians are actually going to do if they get elected.
I do know that, according to the ads, they are all evil. We’re left with varying degrees of evil to choose from. They all lie about the others, according to the ads.
Politicians lie? NO!
I’m so glad that it all ends today. There’s not much else to slander the other person with at this point. If this election was still two weeks away, you’d hear ads like this:
“Hi, I’m Cathy Cox. Mark Taylor fries small baby ants with a large magnifying glass!”
Back-to-back ads.
“Hi, I’m Mark Taylor. Cathy Cox has been seen tearing mattress tags from mattresses.”
More back-to-back ads.
“Hi, I’m Ralph Reed, my opponent Casey Cagle, hasn’t replaced his old toilet that flushes 5 gallons of water, with the new toilet that flushes only 1.5 gallons!
And finally,
“Hi. I’m Casey Cagle. Ralph Reed once recorded a Major League Baseball game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.”
Can the negative ads. I have no idea what any of these folks are going to do once elected. I want to know the facts. It’s so easy to spend the money on 30 seconds of tabloid mentality. Let me suggest that we adopt a political standard requiring the candidates to use the money and time on 30 seconds of interpretive dance together, describing what he or she will do for us in the next four years.
Sounds absurd? Look at the candidate ads now. How could it get worse?
You may not learn anything more but we would at least return the entertainment value back to politics where it belongs.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Gamma
July 18, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this
Bush said “sh-!”! Dang, give the guy a break - this is NOT news! I can’t stand President Bush; he’s done more to harm our country than any other single human. But, I am not impressed that folks overheard him use this off-color word. As Steve said, he probably utters it quite frequently. The news today is that he and Blair ‘laughed off’ the report. Well, I’m laughing, too, to see the media get in a tizzy about it. Hahahaha!
By Paul
July 18, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this
How can it get worse? How about 52 unsolicited recorded political phone calls in 8 days?!! They need to do one of two things, have an opt-in option to receive political calls or have a political no-call list. It was just plain STUPID. Talk about a voter turn-off!! Makes me want to un-register to vote just so I can have some peace and quite during the week before the elections. And by the way, do you think I really care that you went to grade school with candidate so and so and think that s/he would make a good whatever? Not one call changed the way I voted. I do my own research and make my own decisions. It does not impress me that it was Smoltz, or Miller, or the next door neighbor.
By Cletus Snow
July 18, 2006 1:05 PM | Link to this
Anyone who can believe any political ad doesn’t know the meaning of is. Anyone who has a problem with Bush’s language doesn’t watch much TV.
By Cynic
July 18, 2006 1:27 PM | Link to this
True, the ads are absurd, and so is your belief that they will end after today. All we will get is a reprieve until the November elections approach. Then it will be worse.
By Scott Perry
July 18, 2006 1:57 PM | Link to this
Sh__! That was hillarious!
By Wes
July 18, 2006 2:37 PM | Link to this
My wife and I decided to boycott the primary vote because of how many calls we’ve received and how many times they woken us up (baby in the house).
By Mary
July 18, 2006 2:51 PM | Link to this
You’re right about the phone calls. I was at home, yesterday, and got at least 5 (to go the 10 other calls we received Saturday and Sunday). Makes me want to take down the names of those who call and then vote for anybody else. I pay to be on the National Do Not Call list for a reason. Too bad these calls don’t have to follow the same guidelines that our politicians set up for “real” marketing folks.
By Swangirl
July 18, 2006 2:55 PM | Link to this
We moved back to Atlanta a year ago and we got more automated polictal phone calls for ATLANTA candidates when we lived in Nashville than we do now. It was truly bizarre. How did they find us in Tenn. and why did they call us when we weren’t even eligible to vote for them?
By mel
July 18, 2006 3:23 PM | Link to this
uh, you paid to be on the do not call list?
I think y’all just gave me the answer to why I have had umpteen thousand hang ups on my answering machine this week.
I will just be thrilled to not see the stupid signs everywhere.
By Jeff
July 18, 2006 4:04 PM | Link to this
It’s that pesky 1st amendment in that pesky U.S. Constitution that allows politicians to call us regardless of being in on the Do Not Call List (which is free, Mary.)
Maybe some day our leaders will trash that document and we can live in a nice cozy police state (no offence, Steve) and not worry about personal freedoms and protections. I guess we’ll all be much happier then.
Just don’t vote for the politicians who have no trouble interrupting your day. If they don’t care about you now, when they are asking you for a favor, you sure can’t expect them to help someday when you are asking them for a favor.
It certainly helped me weed the field of candidates today.
By JR
July 18, 2006 4:09 PM | Link to this
I went to the polls and voted for those that did not call me!
By Susan
July 18, 2006 4:20 PM | Link to this
Why do you pay to be on the Do Not Call List? I thought it was free. I’m on it, and have never paid a dime.
By ACT
July 18, 2006 4:35 PM | Link to this
I laughed out loud when I saw the Bush explative clip last night.
Give the guy a break - he’s the leader of the free world - if that’s not a free pass to cuss, I don’t know what is!
By ChrisD
July 18, 2006 4:41 PM | Link to this
I’m glad he said it. I was worried he wasn’t passionate about this WOT any more. I’m glad he knows what we know. Syria and Iran is responsible, and the UN is useless.
By Aubrey
July 18, 2006 4:50 PM | Link to this
Here’s a thought. Go to the polls and vote for the candidate that you believe in. Not the one who doesn’t call you. I haven’t recieved a single call but have come home every day to a couple of hang ups on the answering machine and the phone knocked off its holder onto the floor (Thanks to the dog). Good to know that the politicians were able to get to my dog.
By Jeff
July 18, 2006 7:22 PM | Link to this
Working around the house I let the S word go at LEAST 50 times…and it’s the mildest of my chore vocabulary.
By steve rose
July 18, 2006 9:57 PM | Link to this
I think everyone is most likely on the same page here. I’m back. I had a phone call. Guess who? The computer said I was an important part of the process. Remeinds me of Firesign Theater back in the 70’s. I think we’re all Bozos on this bus! I’m thinking that in a police state, the doughnuts will probably have to be half price.
By Tim
July 18, 2006 11:39 PM | Link to this
I don’t have a problem with the sh.. word coming out of him. Sometimes it’s hard for me to keep from using it. It’s interesting though, that the rest of the news world wasn’t aware that he knew the proper way to use it……hell, he lived in Texas!
By Michael
July 19, 2006 6:57 AM | Link to this
Prez said sh__? Finally something about him I like.
By WFC
July 19, 2006 9:20 AM | Link to this
Bush’s comment to Blair expresses my opinion exactly. I’m not usually a “W” supporter but he got this one right.
By Mark in Marietta
July 19, 2006 9:46 AM | Link to this
Steve, you hit it square on the head! We all let loose with SOMETHING, lest we explode with stress, even if it is just a “Gosh Darn”. the media needs to get over themselves and actually find something Newsworthy, like say, “Who Is Superman?”
As for the Political calls, I solved that issue. My wife and I got a pair of cells (something we wanted to do anyways), linked them to the main house line, but took it down to bare nothing, and only hiked our monthly phone bill by $5. Now only the people I want to hear from have my cell. Everyone else has my home. I still answer my home phone from time to time, but only when I am in the mood. I find that my use of “Gosh Darn” has dropped considerably…
By Troy
July 19, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
In the early ’90s I worked in a call center making those calls live… after about a week of telling people that “Buddy Darden really needed their support” I was informed by the person that I was calling that Buddy was running unopposed…. I promptly quit the job.(hated it anyway)
By Observer
July 23, 2006 8:05 PM | Link to this
I got tired of the 10-collector-down (2+ years of handing off to each other) debt collector calls, prank hangup calls, computerized beeping calls, and God knows what else. Even though I had my number for years, I decided to change it and make it 100% unlisted (which the phone company likes to CHARGE FOR PRIVACY.. it’s $5/mo to be unlisted). I don’t give it to any business - only relatives and employer. Also, anyone I give it to, I tell them to not distribute it in any fashion.. even if it’s another relative or friend. If someone wants my number, the current holder can call me and pass along the word.
Ever since then, we’ve only gotten calls from people we know. Blessed silence at last!