View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2006 > April
April 2006
Homeowners associations protect us against ourselves
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Homeowners associations are set up to keep your neighborhood up so that your property value goes up.
It’s a nice concept. It keeps people from doing things like putting hunting tree stands in the front yard during the off-season or parking that old school bus, long since retired, that was scheduled for a conversion into an RV but was bumped back on the “things to do” list after the owner realized it required a lot of work. Like buying tires and an engine.
There are all sorts of homeowners groups. There are small groups composed of a couple of dozen families with a common goal of organizing, improvements and cleanups. The first order of business is usually trying to get a pool. The second is a toss-up between a tennis court or a margarita machine for the clubhouse. (You can always play tennis somewhere else.)
Then there are the really large organizations, with a agenda to secure a seat at the U.N. or purchase a small Third World country.
When you form something that exercises authority, there are positive and negative reactions. Most everyone wants a sense of order and appearance. Although most people are nice folks, they don’t all see beauty in the same sense. The Partridge Family was just a normal family, but I doubt anyone liked the bus parked on the street.
Still, it’s not easy to satisfy everyone in the neighborhood. I think the rules are mostly fair. Our subdivision is very nice. Those who run the association do a good job, but are quick to jump on you.
The Dreaded Letter
We have a tradition of receiving letters when you are out of compliance with whatever compliance you were supposed to be within. Our landscaping guidelines book is so big I had to get the Cliff Notes from Barnes & Noble. I was shocked to find out that I had to remove the tractor tire planter from around the fake palm trees I bought in Mexico back in 1973, which, come to think of it, crosses over into the subject of tequila and why I don’t drink it anymore. Why? Well, for some reason, late one night, I thought it would be a good idea to invade Tijuana with an orange 1961 Ford Falcon, jacked up in the rear with chrome reverse wheels and no brakes. The cops finally caught up to me at a ceramic Buddha shop. The Navy secured my release after I agreed to give the police chief the car. (They let me keep the palm tree and a Buddha.)
Anyway, I have had to change my whole lifestyle to accommodate this landscaping book (“War and Peace”) that restricts you from doing things in your yard like:
— Vietnamese pot belly pig breeding
— Shin-kicking tournaments (single elimination)
— Wet T-shirt contests (This was a close vote)
— Camel wrestling
— Civil War reenactments
— Lynyrd Skynyrd concerts
— Hairy chest festival
— Various other celebratory festivals, including the Exploding Outhouse Festival and the annual Running of the Small Farm Animals.
What a rip-off.
Coffee and the ‘O’ word
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“Hi, welcome. What can we get for you?”
“Small decaf, please.”
“Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha ….”
(The line is getting longer behind me.)
“Just a cup of decaf?”
Silence from all while the coffee technician, hooked up with microphones and things on their belts, stared at me like I had three heads. These guys looked like they were in a Madonna video.
“What kind of coffee sir?”
“What kind do you have?” (Note to self: never ask this again.)
“Well, we have Lattes, Mochas, Mucho-Mochas, Macchiatos, Espressos, Frappuccinos, Cappuccinos, other Chinos, Ciders, various blends with several different and very trendy names as well as fabulously displayed coffee cakes, scones, muffins and other assorted things with cutting-edge names.
He pointed to several chalk boards with multi-colored words that I couldn’t understand.
I’m out of my league in Latte Land.
When I worked the police morning watch (11 p.m.-7 a.m.) I made a stop for the 2 a.m. coffee at the local diners or coffee houses. It went like this:
“Hi, What would you like?”
“Coffee.”
“OK”
Boom! That’s it! I got coffee!
Fancy-coffee places were invented by groups of rocket scientists who had a slow night just after French class. On the scale of coffee prices, it’s a bit on the upscale side. Normally, there are two coffee employees at the counter. The one on the right is the loan officer.
Fancy-coffee places compete with one another for the most words that end in “o” I’m perfectly happy with coffee that I can pronounce but I found that I do like to sit around the table and listen to other people pronounce words that end in “o.” Experienced fancy coffee-place customers know the lingo and have no shame in boastfully announcing their order so that the rest of us know how many syllables they can put together in one order.
In line for the first time, I was between two experienced fancy-coffee place customers. When the line gets long, the loan officer, who stands next to the coffee-technician, calls out to the customers, who in turn give their heavy-syllable orders that end in “o.”
Then they asked me.
“Decaf.” I replied.
There came a great blanket of silence over the fancy-coffee place with the exception of the notable sound of the espresso or cappuccino or some other “o” machine that sounded more like a B-52 taking off than something that you would ingest. I was a novice and what was worse I had not done my homework.
There is no tolerance for novices who do have enough respect for the fancy-coffee place to study and learn the culture. I could feel the cold stares of the experienced customers who were full of heavy-syllable words spelling caffeine relief ending in “o” and I was requiring them to dam up this river of syllables until I could babble, in layman’s garble, a pitiful attempt to order something that may not even end in “o.”
I could feel the hostile text-messaging going on around me.
I didn’t want to be here now. I now wanted to be somewhere else, maybe drinking a cup of coffee in the English language.
Finally I looked at the chalk board and slowly pronounce a few words, making sure that I ended in “o.” Apparently whatever I said they had one of. The coffee technician shook his head and reached for a cup.
I looked back at the experienced coffee customers who shook their heads and nodded in approval.
Relief was short-lived.
“What size would you like that in sir?” said the coffee technician.
“Small.”
“Tall?”
“No, small.”
“Small is tall sir.”
“Tall sounds big. Small sounds like what I want. Is tall the same size as small?”
“All I know is tall is small so small must be tall.”
I’m in a Dr. Seuss cartoon.
I learned a lot in that line. Truth is I felt confident, given this being the first time and all. I should have immediately left while they thought that I was only mildly stupid.
“Scones?” said the technician.
“Nope, just a shaving rash. Thanks for the…uh…that “o” thing.
Starting a police department from scratch
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
If I knew I’d have to work like this then maybe I would have gone to my retirement plan B, which was to sell snow cones at the beach. Little by little I’m getting the e-mails back on, but we don’t expect to be at full speed until July when we will have our own report management system, meaning we can review our own reports daily.
As frustrating as it is, it will all be worth it with all of the technology that we will use, including tracking and managing crime trends on state-of-the-art GIS systems.
I don’t know what to do with all these new toys. Before it was just crayons and blank copy paper.
Although we are not set up yet to deliver the ongoing reports, we do want to start delivering information about what is going on with the Sandy Springs Police Department and how it will affect you.
What are we doing now?
Hiring
We spent almost three weeks on interviews for applicants in the areas of police officer, senior and specialized officer, sergeant, and lieutenant. We are now engaged in the background investigation phase of the process as well as the polygraph phase. Our goal is to hit the street July 1, 2006, with 85 sworn officers, plus additional civilian personnel.
Patrol vehicles
Sandy Springs has a fleet of patrol cruisers (I still think that’s an interesting word for a car) that have been delivered and more are being put together for delivery. We will be further outfitting them with communications, video and computer equipment in order to make them very efficient on day one. The cars will be black with a large blue diagonal stripe with the words Sandy Springs Police on it. They look good.
Game plans
This is something else I’m not used to. A game plan. Chief Gene Wilson brings with him, the CompStat police management system. CompStat is a method of policing through accurate and constant data used to develop police operations management. In other words, direct the resources to the areas where they are needed. It also brings a system of accountability (another new word to me) for results, in other words, getting the job done.
This method of policing was developed in New York City has shown great results all over the country where the program has been implemented. CompStat meetings will be held on a regular basis and the public will be invited.
We put our Part I crimes on the map for a sort of look-see. Part I crimes are the most serious crimes. It involves homicide, aggravated assault, other assaults, burglary, felony theft, etc. The map is dotted all the way up Roswell Road so on one hand, business is good but on the other, this community will be a great fit for CompStat.
Control Central
Part of growing pains is finding a home. We’re currently at the city hall complex at 7840 Roswell Road but looking for a building or complex that we can call home for the next few years until we can get a police department building constructed.
Jail facilities are currently contracted with the City of Roswell. This means that city cases are not booked into the Fulton County Jail, meaning that the officer does not have to be out of service for two hours. This puts him and her back on the street sooner.
Neighborhood Watch
We are already working on the new programs for both the residential and business community. The program will be different and more involved. Of course we changed the design of the sign for that unique look but we’re also going to a program completion system meaning that we’ll schedule each neighborhood, wanting to join, for three meetings over a period of time. Each meeting will involve orientation and then specifics of area crime and crime trends. At the end of the three meeting program, the signs will be ordered and installed. Sandy Springs, in order to keep the signs in stock and current, will require the neighborhood watch community to purchase or reimburse the city for the template. That cost however, should be around $20. I can loan you the money if it’s a problem.
Business Watch
We’re going to develop a business watch that is active and participates in the crime prevention effort in Sandy Springs. Our plans are to create business watch districts with area representatives and an active network of communication from business to business to the police.
It’s going to be a lot of fun.
Film at 11!
When e-mail takes on life of its own
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
E-mail is a great thing. It allows us to instantly distort anything and everything that once upon a time was a resemblance of truth. Please do not misunderstand me, (let the e-mail do that) I am a great proponent of utilizing e-mail for crime prevention purposes.
It has been the greatest tool for disseminating police information. It has been a godsend to me. You know what they say: No godsend comes without little bumps in the road. I have, as in everything else in my life, gotten on the information highway by way of the slow-learning curve that leads to the entrance ramp of uh … life, whatever.
Distribution of e-mail comes with great responsibility. Between 2001 and 2006, I sent out hundreds of e-mail reports that contained police activity as well as lookouts and crime prevention tips and warnings. The list of recipients grew from about 30 to more than 1,200 residents in north Fulton County and as far away as Australia. (It became obvious that the Australians just like the sarcasm and tacky humor — a good trait.)
As the list of recipients grew, so did the popularity of the reports. Soon the Atlanta Journa-Constitution offered to set up a blog. Not knowing what a blog was, I said “sure.” Until then, just about all of my e-mail from readers was positive, with the exception of the occasional death threat.
Soon after the blog was underway I realized that there are a lot of people out there who have opinions on just about everything and not necessarily things they know anything about.
At first I was amused, then angry, then amused again. (Currently amused still.) I also realized that Yanni lives in the hearts of many people and a mere bit of alleged domestic violence on his girlfriend and arrest did not take away the fact that his music is love and tranquility and fabulous hair. (I got your point.)
What we do know is that e-mail takes on a life of its own and therefore has to be watched like my dog, who despite my wife’s assurance that the poop detail has been concluded, poops in the one yard where everyone is standing around talking to the neighbors. (Referring to last week’s reading, my dog has not been blessed.)
E-mail is a great tool in crime prevention, but those who receive it need to realize that as it grows, it becomes embellished until it reaches a point of total fiction, or urban legend. Good information begins a slow, but consistent meltdown. They way I figure it, accurate information starts a process of embellishment based on several factors, mainly tabloid mentality. It has only hours to live an accurate life.
For example: If I sent an e-mail of a grisly murder, with all the stuff murders are composed of, after several generations of e-mail rounds, it will still remains much the same because it really can’t get much worse. People don’t embellish backwards. Robberies and burglaries and suspicious people are another matter. The intent of such information is to give accurate descriptions of events and those involved. If the e-mail starts from the police department, it has a decent chance of going 2-3 generations around the loop before it starts coming apart. If however, the e-mail originates in or around the Metro Atlanta Hysterical E-mail Network, it becomes a work of fiction within 1-2 loops around the block.
Here is dramatic proof:
8:30 a.m.
Beth e-mails Chad, her neighbor, from her office:
Chad:
FYI
Last evening, a man was seen walking in the neighborhood, selling magazine subscriptions for his college golf team. He was asked what college he attended and who the coach of the golf team was but he couldn’t give a good answer. I think that he may be trying to scam people for money. Would you please pass this on to the others in the neighborhood?
Thanks,
Beth
9 a.m.
Chad e-mails Bob, who lives in a nearby subdivision:
Bob:
Beth sent me an e-mail about a guy selling golf magazines to college kids in the neighborhood. She believes that he is the coach or something. She thinks that he may be trying to scam golfers in the area. None of the residents were ripped off. Please pass this along. Thanks,
Chad
10 a.m.
Bob e-mails Angela, whose husband Richard likes to play golf:
Angela:
Chad sent me an e-mail about something to do with a guy who stole some golf clubs and then tried to steal some magazines and then tried to kill his coach because he couldn’t get into college. Apparently he has taken some nuns hostage.
Noon
Richard gets the e-mail from Angela and sends it on:
To: Entire company e-mail list and Bob.
Good afternoon:
Apparently several nuns who worked as college coaches were murdered today in my wife’s friend’s tennis partner’s neighborhood. From what we know, they were murdered with her husband’s golf clubs. The clubs were stolen, too. The bag was autographed by Arnold Palmer. Please send along.
6 p.m.
Frank, who is Richard’s tax accountant, sends the following e-mail to the police department:
Dear Madam and Sirs:
I heard that Arnold Palmer was killed today by a deranged college student, posing as a nun, who was trying to get an autograph on his golf clubs that, incidentally, were stolen from someone at a magazine store. Several college kids witnessed the incident.
On the downside, the accuracy needs a bit of maintenance. On the upside, it’s great entertainment.
Remember: Just the facts.
Blessing of the power tools and small gas engines
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
People in Masaya, Nicaragua, participate in a blessing by the saint San Lazaro of their animals. The parishioners dress their animals in costumes and take them to a celebration ceremony. I don’t know how the animals react to the blessing, but unofficial sources say that there are 23% fewer poop-related incidents within the household if the dog has been blessed.
These numbers are good enough for me. I began to think about it and thought, “Why not extend this idea to an area that is near to us all?”
Power tools-small gas engines.
This is the time of year when you take your mechanical devices that have been sitting in the garage or work area and try to get them into working shape for the coming spring and summer months.
One of the things that I would love to do but for some reason, can’t find a “Learning Annex” that offers it, it a course on small engines. It’s funny how 28 years ago I was planning to rid the world of crime and now I’m just trying to get the ($#@&) yard edger cranked up.
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