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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2006 > January > 11 > Entry
Strumming our six-string, looking for Jimmy Buffett
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Last weekend we decided to go to a new themed restaurant located in fashionable Dunwoody. When a restaurant opens and the theme of it has anything to do with Caribbean atmosphere or otherwise any hint of any resemblance of Jimmy Buffett, I am required to take my wife to this place so that she may search for him.
As long as she gets the annual Margaritaville fix my wife can still function as a normal person.
Here’s the problem:
Jimmy Buffett did not come to Atlanta in 2005.
Remember when you had to tell your kids something that you knew you had to tell them but you knew it would temporarily shatter their image of something that was very important to them? An important thing like Santa doesn’t really come to all those houses in one night but instead opts to subcontract duties to “regional helpers.” For example, much of rural Georgia is handled by Santa’s helpers “Skeet and J.W.” who deliver presents and especially NASCAR collectibles to all the good ol’ boys and girls.
That was a piece of cake compared to breaking the news that Atlanta was not on Buffett’s schedule for 2005.
This particular restaurant is named: Cheeseburger in Paradise. (It’s not a plug — I had to pay.) To my wife, Sandy, this name was an omen. To make things worse, on the way to the omen, the radio played “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” My wife saw this as a sign — on top of the omen — that Jimmy Buffett would be there. (You have to understand the Parrotthead Nation).
Our friends are not obsessed with Jimmy Buffett, but they do enjoy the bizarre behavior of others as a form of entertainment.
Off we went.
Fashionable Dunwoody is an area that has grown tremendously over the past 30 years.In 1969, Dunwoody had only a 1 per 1,000 BMW-to-resident ratio compared to today’s 600-to-1000 rate.
I grew up on the outskirts of Dunwoody. Even then, Dunwoody had planted the seeds of fashion, something that I recognized and tried to keep up with during high school.
My father said the secret to fashion was simple: Always match your socks to your shirt. On the first day I wore a yellow shirt and socks.
I looked like the sun.
Upon our arrival at the restaurant, we agreed with the kids that they should have their own table somewhere else in the restaurant. They’re teenagers now. They don’t want to be seen near us. We secured a table at a comfortable distance. Being that the kids are all teenage boys, I offered them sound advice:
Don’t try to order booze.
Don’t hit on the girls and then get beat up by their boyfriends or dates. Too much paperwork.
Don’t bother the other customers by way of foodfights, burping or other emissions.
Don’t leave the building.
Don’t do anything that may be constituted as a misdemeanor or felony.
Finally, and very importantly, if you need to use the bathroom, remember two things: First, theme restaurants have fancy names for their bathrooms. Take time to interpret and understand the name prior to entry. If you can’t decide, hide until someone else goes in and then proceed, hoping they know what they are doing. Secondly and most importantly, always foot-flush.
I am a believer in the foot-flush. There are sophisticated and very nasty organisms everywhere. These sophisticated and nasty organisms are called cooties. There are certain strains of cooties that live on toilet flush handles as well as all other components of toilets.
Automatic flushing systems attached to toilets have contributed to reducing the need for touching the toilet components. Depending on the setup, the device will kick in as you move away from it and automatically flush. This helps maintain consistent sanitized conditions. Unfortunately, it also maintains a consistent flushing of cell phones and glasses.
After having covered the ground rules for dinner, we settled in for dinner. Most of you know that a Caribbean restaurant features large fruity drinks. This one was no exception. The large fruity drink came with a strawberry with a tiny pair of sunglasses on it. The martini glass was the size of a small bucket. I don’t think they expect you to drink more than one. We asked our server to occasionally check on our kids at the other side of the restaurant and report if any of them were being led away in handcuffs, otherwise, we didn’t want to be disturbed.
I hoped it would not happen, but it did.
Sandy began to look for Jimmy Buffett.
“There he is!”
“No, that’s a picture of him.”
“It looks just like him!”
“I know but it’s on a beer mug. Hey, let’s eat.”
We looked at the menus and tried to figure out what the cute food names meant. After a while I excused myself to go visit the restroom. When I got there I couldn’t figure out what the cute names on the restroom doors meant so I hid behind a plastic palm tree for a few minutes and then entered the door labeled Manos or Banos or whatever it was after apologizing to the party sitting next to the palm tree.
The rest of the night went pretty smooth. Not knowing what Jimmy Buffett song to equate to what food item, I chose to point to the pictures of food I was pretty sure I recognized. Sandy thought she recognized Jimmy Buffett several times but I tackled her before she could get to them. (My apologies to the customers, the valet, and the guy passing the sidewalk with the “Will Work for Gazpacho” sign.)
That night my wife went home obviously disappointed. She asked me to write Oprah and ask her to bring Jimmy Buffett to our house on her bus.
I sat down and instead, wrote Jimmy Buffett a letter.
“Dear Jimmy Buffett:
Please don’t forget to come to Atlanta this summer. I don’t think I can hold out much longer.
Thank you,
Steve Rose
P.S. If possible, could you be more specific with your bathroom signs?”
Services »
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Rebecca
January 11, 2006 9:19 AM | Link to this
Parrotheads of the world Unite
Cheeseburger in Paradise may not have Jimmy Buffett but they do have Key Lime pies shipped straight from Key West and boy, are they ever good.
Key West, Where the Wierd go Pro!
By Elizabeth
January 11, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this
Thank you, thank you, thank you for brightening up this otherwise dreary hump-Wednesday morning! :)
By Claude
January 11, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this
I hear you! Parrotheads got the shaft this year! Unfortunately I am the Biggest parrothead in my family, have not missed a show in 15 years. I am going to go check this place out! This alone should be a plug for you to get one on the house next time.
By claire
January 11, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this
I used to go see JB when I lived in Atlanta. I live in the keys, and Jimmy Buffet is not cool down here. AT ALL.
By claire
January 11, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this
I used to see JB when I lived in Atlanta. Now I live in the Keys, and Jimmy Buffet is not cool down here. AT ALL.
By Tray
January 11, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this
can you add another signature to the letter?
the good ole bubba has gotten too big for his pants, doing shows in Vegas with special seats for Costco/Sam members. Also it can’t be inside it MUST be outside during July at Lakewood. Call it what you want but we all remember the good times at Lakewood in July. the drunks passed out that looked like beached whales, the pools set up in the parking lots…man the memories of Paradise…
By Felix
January 11, 2006 1:48 PM | Link to this
I couldn’t believe JB didn’t come to Atlanta this year! I had to go and buy tickets for his show in Ft. Lauderdale so I could get my annual fix. As it turned out, it was one of the best shows I’ve seen him do, and we had amazing seats. All I can say is that he’d better come though here this year - and to Lakewood, not Philips!!
By Derek
January 11, 2006 2:36 PM | Link to this
Yet another exploit of the quintessential Jimmy Buffet.
How cheesy to name a restaurant after the song? (no pun intended).
Actually, this chain started in Hawaii as a hamburger stand and the two girls opened in Puerto Vallarta and Vegas (Desert Passage at Aladdin). Guess JB bought the chain and has made it his own!! Not the best burgers in the world, but kitschy decor and a bad try at making you think you’re in the Tropics.
I save my time for the REAL tropics! Key West (where Jimmy Buffett is not cool), but who cares! I’m three sheets to the wind singing my own songs in the hot, hot sun!!
By Clem Schimikowski
January 11, 2006 4:06 PM | Link to this
As a devoted Buffet Fan with my prestige “FINS UP” tag, I have learned that you need to seize any chance you can to see JB. I travel the east coast from Nantucket at the “Chicken Box” to South Florida to escape and party with my parrothead family. Lets hope JB remembers us this year and plays for us in Atlanta, it will certainly cut down on my travel expenses. ~~/\~~
By Randy
January 11, 2006 6:48 PM | Link to this
You are not real parrotheads. I remember seeing JB on 10th street in the 70s. Take that
By Mary
January 11, 2006 8:32 PM | Link to this
It just wasn’t right not having JB in ATL this year. And the last time he was here it was during the week. What happened to those July stops - 2 shows - Thursday and Saturday?! Those were the days!! We’re due this year! And besides the Key Lime pies - they ship in their Cuban bread too - delicious!!
By bud
January 11, 2006 11:23 PM | Link to this
Well, This talk of Jimmy and bathrooms reminded of an encounter I had back in the 1979 or 1980 @ the old harvest moon saloon on piedmont(is it still there?). It was known to be one of JBs’ favorite bars after his concerts or just when he was in ATL passing thru. He would stop by and bartend or just party. On one occasion I was there and had to relieve myself. In the bathroom ,I looked next to me at the guy in the stall next to me and said “you’re Jimmy Buffet” and his reply was “Yeah I get that all the time”. Buckhead in the good old days!
By Steve Walsh
January 12, 2006 8:25 AM | Link to this
Ever since Tyco’s Dennis Kozlowski’s party which featured Jimmy Buffet, I have lost all respect for him and his “wacky” entertainment style. I’ll bet he got paid 6 figures for his appearance, all of it shareholders money….
By Jim Mack
January 12, 2006 8:51 AM | Link to this
First of all, for the so-called Buffett fans out there, please learn to spell his name correctly. It is not a food line (Buffet), it is Buffett. Secondly, the restaurant in Hawaii was sued by Buffett for using the name illegally and without permission. The chain of Buffett restaurants is a partnership and run by the Outback chain.
And I agree about the bathroom signs.
By Eddie
January 12, 2006 8:57 AM | Link to this
Steve,
I agree, summer just isn’t summer without a Buffett show. Great story!
By Son of a Sailor
January 12, 2006 9:45 AM | Link to this
Amen to that. Nothing like Buffett at Lakewood in July. It just doesn’t get any better.
Nothing worse than Buffett at Phillips in November. I won’t do that again.
By Claude
January 12, 2006 9:46 AM | Link to this
Not to be out done by Clem Schimikowski!… My tag reads Cmonday, was married early on Saturday June 29th in order to get to concert early enough to have a great post wedding party then head out to Key West the next day! Where we got matching Carribean Soul Tattoos!
By ADL
January 12, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this
Steve,
I heard Buffett got 1 million (+ expenses for that party).
I’ve eaten at Cheeseburger in Paradise in Maui. I’m sure the atmosphere was a little better than Dunwoody.
By Don Ho
January 12, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this
How true you are that there is no Jimmy Buffett at CIP. What is also noteworthy is that the musicians don’t play Jimmy Buffett music. What’s up with that?? We’ve been 4 times and the only time we saw anyone play JB tunes was opening night. If anyone knows who that was or when he will be back, please let me know.
By G
January 12, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this
Saw Jimmy Buffet@ Great Southeast Music Hall around 1972. Buffet opening act for Billy Joel. Joel was sick and could not perform. Jimmy Buffet tried to perform but was too drunk. Never liked him after that.
By Carrie
January 12, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this
You cry babies. Jimmy hasn’t been to Oklahoma since the early 80’s. But I managed to see him last year anyway. I even had to sneek into a Wal-Mart associate function in Arkansas to see him. Carrie
By Jackson Quigley
January 12, 2006 5:17 PM | Link to this
Steve:
If your wife still needs a Buffett fix, send her to my Blog One Particular Parrot Head [http://oneparticularparrothead.blogspot.com I
I lived every Parrotheads dream of going to every Jimmy Buffett Concert of a Tour. I also wrote a book about Jimmy and his Parrotheads in 2000.
Now, I’m writing a book called: The Memoir’s of a Middle-Age Parrot Head: A Jimmy Buffett Inspired Adventure.
By Beachbruce
January 13, 2006 12:01 AM | Link to this
Well, I’ve no sympathy for you, since Jimmy opted for the baseball stadiums and forgot about Texas in 2005, especially Austin where the words to Margaritaville were forever etched in our memories. Last Texas appearance May 29, 2004. Hey Bubba, come on back, Livingston is waiting for you!
By Otis M Man
January 13, 2006 9:02 AM | Link to this
We’ve been 4 times and the only time we saw anyone play JB tunes was opening night. If anyone knows who that was or when he will be back, please let me know.
That guy’s name is Jim Asbell and he will be there the next two weekends. More info on the schedule at [http://www.cheeseburgerinparadise.com/calendars/dunwoody.asp]
By JOHN TALLANT
January 16, 2006 5:54 PM | Link to this
Steve:
Your wife can enjoy the same Jimmy Buffet experience by purchasing the new “Margaritaville Shrimp” available at all local Kroger Stores——-located in the Frozen Meat Section of your neighborhood store. You will catch yourself singing as you lightly cook these delicious shrimp in the skillet—-ready in 8 minutes!! And we are hopeful he will make an Atlanta appearance this summer. Thanks John
By Nora
January 20, 2006 4:39 PM | Link to this
Thanks for the cute story, and I so empathize with your wife. I’m glad she got a small JB fix while she waits. :-)