View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2005 > September > 23
Friday, September 23, 2005
The lowdown on sagging pants
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Georgia Legislature has passed into law an anti-sagging law that would make it an aggravated misdemeanor to wear one’s pants below what is considered a ‘normal’ rate of sag, that is, no more than two inches from one’s waist line and in such a way that a reasonable and prudent person cannot see one’s boxer shorts.
Anyone convicted of sagging will be sentenced to six months of mandatory wearing of carpenter’s suspenders in a manner so tight that they shall become a walking wedgie.
I wish.
Unfortunately, Georgia has not seen this law introduced. But if they do, they have my vote. I’d like to think that I’m rather open to the younger generation’s fashion statements. My children have their opinions on any number of things and although I may not agree, I am tolerant — mostly because they are older and I don’t have a say-so.
Sagging at my house? Yes, some. I still have grounding privileges, though, and I can take away cell phones anytime I want to.
Everyone wants to make a social statement at some point in their life but I don’t think this trend is on the list of “Needed Change” in our lifetime.
I gave some thought to how sagging would enhance my life, but I could only come up with how much this would restrict my running if I needed to run. The jails are full of saggers who couldn’t facilitate the getaway after the crime. Plan all you will but when you can run only six feet before falling on your face, you’re going to get caught.
I never once heard of anyone being turned down for a job for wearing their pants too high — with the exception of those applying for membership to the International Brotherhood of Tall Plumbers. That’s just my theory, but then again I also have a theory that men with large foreheads know things that they aren’t telling us. It’s just a theory.
We need to turn these people around and get their priorities and their pants in the right place.
How many confused parents are right now looking at their kids and pleading with them:
“Why can’t you just pierce your tongue like the other kids??!!”
