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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2005 > February > 14 > Entry
Men: Don’t let the rest of us down on Valentine’s Day
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Today is Valentine’s Day.
If you haven’t gotten something for your significant person whom you should be getting something for, then read this part and then shut your computer off and run, at a high rate of speed, to some place where you can buy something significant for your wife or girlfriend.
You know as well as I that it is incumbent on the male to initiate the good tidings of Valentine’s Day. I don’t care if you think it’s fair or not, it’s the law.
Here is the last part you need to read before turning off the computer and running to the store: If you don’t get your (other) a good gift for Valentine’s Day, you have an 84 percent chance of being the victim of retaliation in the near future.
This means that something bad will happen. That something could be anything. Now leave and buy something good.
Here are some things you don’t need to give your honey for Valentine’s Day:
1. A coupon for Madam Tinkerbell’s Big and Tall Shop
2. A free pass to the Waffle House Museum in Norcross, Ga.
3. Pit passes for Jello Wrestling Night at any local exotic dance club
4. Weight Watchers Startup Kit
Following through on your obligation on Valentine’s Day means that on February 15th we will have 35 percent fewer domestic violence reports of male victims.
Buy a nice Valentine’s gift; we all win.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By cj
February 14, 2005 8:41 PM | Link to this
The dollar store makes a great place to buy those last minute gifts. My boyfriend is getting a “For a boy” grab bag. It was $1. Yes…this shows how much I value our relationship. Maybe I’ll throw in some duct tape and a hammer. Again…dollar store treasures. Don’t underestimate the power of 1 or so dollars!
By kimmie
February 15, 2005 10:26 AM | Link to this
There’s a waffle house museum????
By Grandma
February 15, 2005 12:52 PM | Link to this
This is my favorite part of the AJC. I use to love the Living Vent but this is much funnier! Keep up the good work!
By T.R.
February 15, 2005 6:23 PM | Link to this
Yesterday on Valentine’s Day I was doing my grocery shopping at Kroger around 11 a.m. I think I saw about 10 guys standing in the trashed card aisle, all of them with dazed looks on their face, as they scraped through what little was left of the Valentine’s Day card selection. I almost laughed out loud. A word of advice, fellas: Try thinking a few days ahead.
By telecomgirl
February 16, 2005 3:32 PM | Link to this
My husband (a cop) decided that we should “boycott” Valentine’s Day. It was fine with me though I did get the kids a little something ;)
However - for my birthday? - I want to go to that Waffle House museum.
For his birthday? - Does Krispy Kreme have a museum yet?
By ladythelvin
February 21, 2005 1:27 PM | Link to this
And here is another word of advice: do not get her a bag of candy and then the Weight Watchers Magazine or the Curve Magazine