AJC > Blog > Archives > 2008 > January > 31
Thursday, January 31, 2008
EEEEEEEEVIL ways, indeed
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“I don’t often root for injury,” the other person in the office who hates The Queens as much as I do just said of the whole Santana extravaganza, “but in this case…” She left the thought hanging there. Then she smiled. Then she went MWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and hoisted a silver chalice of Type AB Negative before a black-velvet cloaked photo of The Boss that she calls “Shrinebrenner.” Gene Simmons would’ve been so impressed. But for the life of me, I don’t understand what any of that had to do with Santana.
Now before y’all write in and scream things like “CHOP CHICK HATES SANTANA!!!!” or “CHOP CHICK IS ALL FOR A PLAYER GETTING HURT!!!!” or “CHOP CHICK THINKS SANTANA SHOULD BE DISFIGURED HORRIBLY WHILST MAKING WAFFLES!!!!” or “CHOP CHICK TYPES IN ALL CAPS AND PUTS TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS AT THE END OF THESE STUPID SENTENCES SHE’S USING TO DRIVE HOME A POINT THAT WE ALREADY GET, OK?!!!! GOD!!!!,” I want you to know that only one of those points is even true. Also, I want you to know that hardly anyone says “whilst” these days.
Here are the facts regarding my personal position on Santana:
• I think Santana is great.
• Nobody can play like Santana.
• Santana is a great addition to any lineup.
• If you play with Santana, you’re going to bring in fans by the turnip truckload.
• Santana deserves as much $$$ as he wants to play in a big city like New York.
• Atlanta is just jealous because WE didn’t get Santana to come here.
• In 2003, Santana’s album “Abraxas” was ranked number 205 on Rolling Stone magazine’s list of the 500 greatest albums of all time and I wholeheartedly agree with that assessment because it’s one of my favorites.
So you see, there’s no reason whatsoever to go off on a “CHOP CHICK HATES SANTANA” write-in crusade. Because I’ve personally blown out a number of speakers cranking up many of his fine guitar solos and…
Oh… Wait.
JOHAN Santana? A possible blockbuster Twins-Mets deal? THAT’S what she meant?
How depressing. I’ll never listen to “Abraxas” quite the same way again now.
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