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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It’s noon, how’s your elbow? Hammy?

Fort Lauderdale, Fla. - It’s almost noon, and still no new Braves injuries to report. That’s progress, right?

We’ll have at least one and probably two bullpen sessions to monitor this afternoon at the stadium formerly known as Joe Robbie, where banged-up old lefties Tom Glavine and Mike Hampton are expected to test their sore parts.

Glavine said he would throw today or tomorrow (but most likely today) to see if his right hammy is fit for competition, so he can tell the Braves whether or not he can make Saturday’s start against the Dodgers.

I’m guessing he’ll avoid what would be his first-ever DL stint and make the start, just knowing Glavine and how much he realizes the weary Braves need him to pitch.

Not that I think he’ll do something stupid and make a minor injury something worse by rushing his recovery. It just sounds like he’s made steady progress in an injury that wasn’t severe to begin with.

Did I mention the Braves really need him to pitch?

Not that Jeff Bennett couldn’t do a solid job replacing him for a game. But the Braves are already expected to have Buddy Carlyle going Friday, and if you follow Carlyle with Bennett, you’re probably talking about a couple of four-inning starts and a lot more wear on an injury-riddled bullpen.

As for Hampton, today’s test isn’t such a big deal, simply because he’s missed enough time now that he’s not going to be able to jump right back in the rotation even if he has no problems today with the pectoral muscle he strained almost two weeks ago.

He’ll almost certainly require a minor league rehab assignment, so don’t expect to see Hampton make his season debut for the Braves for at least two weeks, and possibly closer to a month. But I’m just educated-guessing there.

A little levity: Bad as things have been with the losses and injuries on this Bataan Death March of a road trip, it’s important to have a little levity injected into the clubhouse from time to time.

Bullpen coach Eddie Perez provided some yesterday, walking around with a Braves hooded sweatshirt that he’d doctored a bit. It was a postseason sweatshirt from a few years ago, with “MLB postseason” above the Braves logo.

Eddie took two pieces of athletic tape, covered the year before “MLB postseason” on one side and something else I couldn’t read on the other. And on the left (if you’re facing him) piece of tape he wrote “1999” on the right he wrote “MVP.”

Perez, you might recall, was MVP of the 1999 NLCS against the Mets, when he went 10-for-20 with two homers and five RBI.

More humor: On a daily basis, you see snapshots of cultural bonding in a clubhouse. Take Tuesday afternoon, for instance. The big screen TV in the back corner of the visitor’s clubhouse. Jair Jurrjens and Mark Teixeira sunk comfortably into leather furniture watching a DVD of Dazed and Confused.

I might not share musical tastes with many Braves, but we can certainly agree on some great movies, and that’s one of them. Great stuff. Matthew McConaughey as Wooderson, long before McConaughey became severely annoying.

Bullpen update: Royce Ring and Chris Resop, two of the out-of-options relievers the Braves decided to keep over Tyler Yates this spring, have ERAs of 13.50 and 11.12, respectively.

Ring’s spiked past 13 last night when he was tagged for two hits and two runs while recording two outs in an appearance that spanned the seventh and eighth innings. He’s allowed four runs, four hits and a walk in 2-2/3 innings over five appearances.

Resop finally had a clean inning. Well, almost clean. He gave up one hit. And almost an inning. He recorded two outs.

Bobby Cox wasn’t pleased at all with the ‘pen letting things get away late, turning a 2-0 deficit to a 4-0 gulf. Not just the fact that any remaining hope of a comeback vanished, but because Cox and the Braves need the other relievers to concentrate and produce, to pick up the slack while key guys are hurt.

They didn’t do that last night. Even veteran lefty Will Ohman, who’s been reliable, came on with two out in the ninth and issued a pair of bases-loaded walks. Ugly. Hard for the manager (and most of you) to watch.

Most of the 732 fans in the Marlin Mausoleum (aka Dolphin Stadium) loved it.

On a brighter note, the other of the three out-of-options relievers the Braves kept this spring, Blaine Boyer, has 13 strikeouts with only two walks in 7-2/3 innings. He ranks third among NL relievers with 15.26 strikeouts per nine innings.

Oh, and another positive, this time for Braves hitters: Strikeouts are way down, their 69 tied with Cincinnati for the league-low this season. Hey, nothing wrong with a positive stat to break things up.

The close-game problem: Want a good idea why the Braves have stunk in close games so far this season? Well, here’s a telling and alarming stat.

In close-and-late situations as defined by Stats Inc. (basically tied or one-run games after the sixth inning, though it’s more complicated than that), the Braves rank dead last in the NL with a meager .188 batting average.

Yes, they are 19-for-101 in those situations, including 0-for-10 by Jeff Francoeur, 1-for-10 by Yunel Escobar, 2-for-12 apiece by Matt Diaz and Brian McCann, and a combined 0-for-11 by bench guys Gotay, Prado, Blanco and Miller (no first names until there’s a close-and-late hit among them).

The only Brave hitting at least .300 in those situations? None other than Mark Teixeira, who’s 5-for-9 with a double and two homers in close-and-late situations. Mark Kotsay is 3-for-11 and Chipper Jones is 3-for-12.

While Braves hitters are last in the NL, opposing hitters are hitting .242 against Braves pitchers in close-and-late situations, and the five homers allowed by Atlanta pitchers is tied with Houston for the league high.

Bottom feeding, or starving: The Braves are a combined 12-for-90 (.133) with seven RBI from the last two spots in their batting order, and five of those RBI are from the ninth spot.

Braves No. 8 hitters have a .192 OBP, .200 slugging percentage, and two RBI. Oh, my. That includes Kotsay’s 3-for-23 and Diaz’s 2-for-17 with seven strikeouts from the position.

We have an answer to the team’s offensive malaise: An exorcist for the 8-hole.

One final stat to depress you all: The Braves have scored 27 runs in seven games on this road trip, and 10 of those were in one game. That’s 17 runs in the other six games, if my public-school math is accurate.

“I’LL SLOW YOU DOWN” by Warren Zevon

You know I hate it when you put your hand inside my head

And switch all my priorities around

Why don’t you go pick on someone your own size instead?

Go on without me, I’ll just slow you down

Go on without me, I’ll just slow you down

You always say you know me somehow I don’t think you do

Maybe you should buy another vowel

You’re jumping to conclusions so I can’t keep up with you

Go on without me, I’ll just slow you down

I’ll just hold you up

When I fall behind

I’ll just throw your schedule off

So you get going if you’re so inclined

You know I hate it when you put your hand inside my head

And switch all my priorities around

You think you’re pretty tricky but you’re simply overbred

Go on without me, I’ll just slow you down

Go on…

Go on…

Go on…

Go on…

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