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Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Maddux … if you only knew
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
With Greg Maddux in town and set to face John Smoltz on Wednesday for the first time since 1992, the Maddux stories were abundant on Monday at Turner Field.
Unfortunately, most of them are too gross and/or profane to share with you folks in this forum. Let’s just say, the future first-ballot Hall of Famer Maddux was/is legendary for his pranks and dry wit, and much of it is stuff that would bring both you and your 12-year-old son to tears in laughter.
But here’s one story I think we can use here.
It’s 1993, and hotshot prospect Chipper Jones is up with the big club for the first time. As Chipper told it yesterday, he beat out a swinging-bunt single for his first major league hit.
Jones, already aware of Maddux’s proclivity for profanity and locker-room humor, asked coach Pat Corrales to keep an eye on the baseball as it was retrieved and brought to the Braves’ dugout. Specifically, Chipper noticed Maddux on the dugout steps and wanted to make sure he wasn’t up to something.
But play continued, Chipper returned focus to the game, etc. After he got back to the dugout, the ball was presented to him.
“I came off the field, and sure enough, there was a big ‘ol loogie on it,” Jones said. “[Maddux had] picked his nose and wiped it on the baseball.”
Chipper smiled as he related the story. “If I had known then what I know now, I would probably have kept it on it. But I wiped it off.”
In other words, if he’d known how many more similar Maddux moments he would witness over the years, Chipper would’ve kept the marred ball as a memento of the true Maddux, or the side of him that most outside the game are unaware of.
I’ll leave it at that. But I will tell you, Maddux, beyond having more baseball knowledge and intuition than anyone I’ve ever encountered, is also one of the funniest guys I’ve ever been around, even if I was only on the perimeter.
If we played baseball, we all would’ve wanted him for a teammate, without question. Not just because he’s one of the best two pitchers of the past 25 years — him and Clemens, in my opinion — but because he kept a clubhouse so loose.
OK, on to a couple other matters….
Braves need rookie starter Anthony Lerew to step up tonight. Yes, I’m the master of the obvious with that statement. But the Braves really do need to start getting some good starts from those not named Smoltz or Hudson.
Chuck James’ latest early exit (3-2/3 innings last night) left him 1-3 with a 6.66 ERA in his past five starts.
Braves starters are 10-10 and rank 10th in the NL with a 4.43 ERA and 11th in innings (181). The opponents’ on-base percentages and the ERAs are already ugly or getting ugly for three of the five: Mark Redman (.429, 10.62), Kyle Davies (.371, 6.41), Chuck James (.363, 4.84).
Lance Cormier hasn’t thrown off a mound yet, so he’s not even got a rehab assignment planned yet, which means he’s at least 3-4 weeks away from returning. Probably more. And at this point, I wouldn’t know what to expect from him, he’s been out of real competition for such a long stretch.
James walked four last night, and the bullpen walked four more, which raised the bullpen walks total to a major league-high 65 in 98-2/3 innings, only 20 fewer walks than strikeouts. Not good, folks.
Where’s the offense? The Braves have hit .232 with no home runs and 19 total runs in their past five games, after batting .316 with a whopping 17 homers and 61 runs in the previous nine games.
Anyone should have known they’d run into a slump, but the problem is when all the guys who were scorching suddenly are cooling off a little or a lot, or at least most of them are.
Brian McCann is 6-for-28 (.214) with two doubles and three RBIs in his past nine games, this only a few days after his four consecutive two-hit games.
Jeff Francoeuris 3-for-18 with one double in five games, after going .457 with six extra-base hits and seven RBIs in his previous eight games.
Kelly Johnson is 1-for-9 with four strikeouts and no walks in his past couple of games, and has no multi-hit games in his past seven _ after putting up eight multi-hit games in an 11-game stretch.
Chipper Jones is 0-for-10 with no RBIs in his past four games, after hitting .341 with 18 extra-base hits (10 homers), 20 runs and 22 RBIs in the previous 21 games.
Andruw Jones wasn’t exactly surging before, but he’s 0-for-18 with one RBI and three walks in his past five games. In 17 home games, he’s hit .158 (9-for-57), second-lowest home average among NL qualifiers, ahead of only a guy in Pittsburgh named LaRoche (.136). Andruw has one multi-hit home game all season.
But enough fretting. Let’s rock:
”NEVER GONNA CHANGE” by Jason Isbell (former Drive-By Trucker)
Let this be a lesson to you girl: Don’t come around where you know you don’t belong.
They’re riding on the avenue and probably coming after you and they all look mean and strong.
Mean and strong like liquor./Mean and strong like fear.
Strong like the people from South Alabama and mean like the people from here.
Take it from me… We ain’t never gonna change.
Daddy used to empty out his shotgun shells and fill ‘em full of black-eyed peas.
He’d aim real low and tear out your ankles or rip right through your knees.
There ain’t much traffic on the highway./There ain’t much traffic on the lake.
The ATF and the ABI got everything they could take.
Take it from me… They didn’t take it from me.
We ain’t never gonna change./We ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong.
We ain’t never gonna change/so shut your mouth and play along.
I thought about going in the army. I thought about going overseas.
I wouldn’t have trouble with a p*#@ test; only problem is my bad left knee.
My brother got picked up at Parker’s, got him a ride in a new Crown Vic.
They said that he was movin’ on a federal level/ but they couldn’t really make it stick.
Take it from me…
We ain’t never gonna change./We ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong.
We ain’t never gonna change/so shut your mouth and play along.
You can throw me in the Colbert County jailhouse./You can throw me off the Wilson Dam
But there ain’t much difference in the man I wanna be/ and the man I really am.
We ain’t never gonna change.
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