Better health

By kiljoy

October 28, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

The whole world is more wicked than it used to be so the fact that infidelity is on the rise does not surprise me. More and more traditional values have given way to an anything goes system that rewards bad behavior with celebrity. Traditional values are mocked and the weird and outlandish is celebrated.

Once society hits rock bottom I predict a return to a value system based upon a more traditional moral code.

By RikRoberts

October 28, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

I like how people say traditional when they really mean Victorian or Puritanical. It seems to me that there have been numerous great societies (Greeks, Romans et al) that were infamous for their “wickedness” that far predate our “traditional” values. The world and people are the same as they have always been. We have just been able, for periods of time, to keep our “wickedness” more low key than we are right now. Jefferson had his skeletons and Franklin was a well known rascal.

By TheScientist

October 28, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

No! Wifh marriage failures at more than 50% and less than 10% of mammal species being monogamous, it seems clear that monogamy is un-natural in the animal kingdom.

By Bob

October 28, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

I just love all these “traditional values” comments, as if there actually was a Leave it to Beaver-like “good old days.” The fact is, with more media outlets and exposure, this kind of stuff gets more play. Do you people really think no one committed adultery in the ’40s and ’50s? I’d be willing to bet it was just as common back then, it’s just that it wasn’t thrown in everyone’s face with shows like “Cheaters,” etc. I just crack up when I read and hear comments from people who talk about some idealistic “good old days.” It’s a myth.

By TBatch

October 28, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

Victorian or Puritanical was not traditional. Adam and Eve were traditional. One husband, one wife. That is the standard that society has grown apart from. God’s standards are not to be mocked and as kiljoy said society (globally) will hit rock bottom and then they will KNOW what standard is expected of us all.

By rascal

October 28, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

My wife is great…but my girlfriend is better!!!

By kj

October 28, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Even a quick study of history shows that people continue on just as wicked and no more wicked than ever. Only them means of our wickedness and charity change. Still, infidelity is both hurtful and harmful. It’s a shame that we never do seem to learn from the past.

By Sarah

October 28, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

What my boyfriend’s wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

By Sarah

October 28, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

What my boyfriend’s wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

By Sarah

October 28, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

What my boyfriend’s wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

By bigtime

October 28, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

rings dont plug holes

By 2smooth

October 28, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

The problem with you “Holier than thou” posters is that you are all so ugly that you couldn’t even pay for an affair!! Lose some weight and have fun like the rest of us!!

By Pete

October 28, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

The reason for more and more infidelity is that the ORIGINAL reason most choose a mate is not even close to correct. Looking for love in all the wrong places ends up with a huge price to pay down the road. Some things can’t be swept under the rug. Young people today haven’t a clue what true love or true commitment is all about. All they do after turning 17 is have sex with as many partners as they can line up. Do they honestly believe there will be NO CONSEQUENCES for living like mad dogs in heat ??? Pathetic.

By val

October 28, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Bob, I agree. I’ve been what told what some my elders who are no longer here did back in the day. It’s just that people are more bold, it’s not new. I think that back in the day I do feel there are good people who value and respect their marriages or relationships.

By Brian

October 28, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

I guess marriage vows are just words on paper. No one really means to keep the promises they made on that day, right? I mean, I only said my vows because it’s a tradition. What I really meant to say was “I promise to stay faithful to you, my wife, unless someone better comes along, then you’re toast.” Or, wait, how about this one…”I promise, my bride, to be yours and only yours, until you anger me and I hit the strip clubs with my friends and sleep with a stranger to get my revenge on you.” Marriage is an institution founded by God that is reflective of the love he has for us -> unconditional. It’s a good thing for us that He keeps His promise to us.

By JM

October 28, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Women deal with stress and difficult times much differently then men and given the economic downturn we are all facing today. Its no surprise that “daddy’s little girl” runs off to what may appear to be the next best thing.

By lovelyliz

October 28, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

I am shocked. No one ha yet to blame this on the gays!!!!!!!

By lovelyliz

October 28, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

*Home > Better health > Archives > 2008 > October > 28 > Entry

Facebook Digg DEL.ICIO.US Newsvine Reddit Love, sex and the changing landscape of infidelity By Charles Yoo | Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 01:04 PM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Yes, your fear has come true. Apparently, a handful of new studies note surprising transformations in the marital landscape in America, according to this report. “Infidelity appears to be on the rise, particularly among older men and young couples. Notably, women appear to be closing the adultery gap: younger women appear to be cheating on their spouses nearly as often as men.” Sigh. Does this surprise you? What do you think?

Permalink | Comments (16) | Post your comment | Categories: Love & Relationship

Comments By kiljoy

October 28, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

The whole world is more wicked than it used to be so the fact that infidelity is on the rise does not surprise me. More and more traditional values have given way to an anything goes system that rewards bad behavior with celebrity. Traditional values are mocked and the weird and outlandish is celebrated.

Once society hits rock bottom I predict a return to a value system based upon a more traditional moral code.

By RikRoberts

October 28, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

I like how people say traditional when they really mean Victorian or Puritanical. It seems to me that there have been numerous great societies (Greeks, Romans et al) that were infamous for their “wickedness” that far predate our “traditional” values. The world and people are the same as they have always been. We have just been able, for periods of time, to keep our “wickedness” more low key than we are right now. Jefferson had his skeletons and Franklin was a well known rascal.

By TheScientist

October 28, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

No! Wifh marriage failures at more than 50% and less than 10% of mammal species being monogamous, it seems clear that monogamy is un-natural in the animal kingdom.

By Bob

October 28, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

I just love all these “traditional values” comments, as if there actually was a Leave it to Beaver-like “good old days.” The fact is, with more media outlets and exposure, this kind of stuff gets more play. Do you people really think no one committed adultery in the ’40s and ’50s? I’d be willing to bet it was just as common back then, it’s just that it wasn’t thrown in everyone’s face with shows like “Cheaters,” etc. I just crack up when I read and hear comments from people who talk about some idealistic “good old days.” It’s a myth.

By TBatch Victorian or Puritanical was not traditional. Adam and Eve were traditional. One husband, one wife. That is the standard that society has grown apart from. God’s standards are not to be mocked and as kiljoy said society (globally) will hit rock bottom and then they will KNOW what standard is expected of us all.

In general, when have men EVER been held to a standard of fidelity. Certainly never, ever the same standard that has been applied to women.

By AKA

October 28, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

its all the fault of gays in our society

By lovelyliz

October 28, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

In general, when have men EVER been held to a standard of fidelity? Certainly never, ever the same standard that has been applied to women.

By lovelyliz

October 28, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Is a man cheating on his wife as long as he is discrete and doesn’t bring it home a traditional value? Historically, yes.

By Light

October 28, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

“Once society hits rock bottom I predict a return to a value system based upon a more traditional moral code.”

i dont know if this is true based on the word and its depection of the last days does this sound familiar

2 Timothy 3:2

People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

By The Queen

October 28, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

oh my goodness!

where is the love????

and rascal, seems like u married the wrong one then!

Marriage is still sacred….it’s people who are so messed up they don’t have a clue what LOVE (yes, the L word) is!!!!!

By Red Velvet

October 28, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this

If animals can have multiple partners, then so can humans. Ladies, do your thing, have your cake and eat it too! If the holier than thow peeps dont want to eat their cake…I’ll take a bite!!

By lovelyliz

October 28, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

Red Velvet They really want to pretend that they never ate the cake to begin with.

Actually I think that fidelity is important and attainable, but even I don’t think that the men and husbands of yesteryear actually were fidelitous.

By Oogie

October 28, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Isn’t this a good thing?
This just means that there’s more love in the world!

By KJ

October 28, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

*In general, when have men EVER been held to a standard of fidelity. *

Um, how about divorce and custody laws, which are horribly biased towards women?

By Terh Datassup

October 28, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this

“If animals can have mutliple partners”

This has got to be placed at the top of the Lamest phrases of 2008 list. Animals dont have souls which means that heaven or hell does not exist for them. You, on the other hand, may want to start freezing some Gatorade. At the end, every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess. Now is the time for the separation of the sheep from the goat..

By Brad

October 28, 2008 5:17 PM | Link to this

I’m going to start cheating because my wife hasn’t come across with any in nine years. That’s long enough to be patient.

By kyle

October 28, 2008 5:18 PM | Link to this

hey Sara, wanna go out?

By sunny

October 29, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

If you want to be married be married but please we need to stop getting married and then turn around and go for sex out side this is really sad, If you want to be single stay single, its unfair to the man and the women when you both start having affairs, and what if you have children then the home is really messed up. Back in the ole days some men had two diffrent family and some women was expecting a baby that wasn’t even the husband but he never new, men have been having affairs for years now the women are more open then the men. Some women today just don’t care because times have change and we all put up with everything thing. This world is messed up bad. AND WE NEED THE LORD EVERYDAY.

By john hancock

October 29, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

I feel for you Brad….seems like you’re already divorced

By Edward

October 29, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

I grew up in the days when a man could beat his kids, the dog and the wife and could be a drunk and that was somehow, if not okay to do so, swept under the rug and wasn’t talked about like it is today. But, let a man cheat and oh lord the world is coming to an end and the wife picks up the kids and leaves. She usually leaves to live a sub-standard lifestyle and both she and kids suffer financially. There are worse things that can happen than a spouse cheating on you. Is cheating bad? You bet it is but it’s not the end of the world nor does it always have to mean the end of a marriage. A habitual cheater may be different but a person who strays once and then relaizes it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be, the hunt being far more exciting than the kill does not to mean a divorce, asutomatically. I have had sex outside my marriage and years later I found out my wife did the same thing and we’re both together in our 38th year of marriage and we get along as well as the next couple. We know we made mistakes but we’re human and we learned from our experiences. My idiot of a sister in law watched her husband become a drunk and an abuser and that was okay, it was only when she caught him cheating with another woman that made her leave him. I guess going hungry and being hit was okay but oh lord, don’t let him cheat.

By Nick

October 29, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

I have to agree with Edward. It’s a shame that women put up with the slap to the face and the kicking of the children and animals but once he cheats, it’s as if he tore her heart out. I wish women would have more confidence than that. They don’t need to put up with the abuse until the cheats. Bad idea. I agree that during a long marriage, cheating may occur once or once in a while…that is human nature on some level but it doesn’t mean the it has to be the end of the marriage altogether if the respect and mutual understanding is still there. Most cheating does not end up with the cheater leaving another to find something better. It’s curiosity, lack of self esteem…etc…it’s complicated. And to say (in an earlier post by someone else) that animals have no souls? WTF? Are you God? Do you know this? No you don’t. I have no doubt that animals have souls. This is about people and their choices and those choices are quite complicated.

By SouthernGirl

October 29, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

Gee Sarah….if life is really fair - one of these days you’ll be the “wife” and get to experience first hand the hurt, pain and humiliation that being cheated on causes. And before you say that if the wife were what she should be her husband wouldn’t cheat….let me just say…the husband made a vow when he married. He made a solemn vow to honor and cherish his spouse. HE is responsible for keeping his promise…..period!! If he can’t then he should be “man” enough to go to his spouse and fix the problem or remove himself in an honest and forthright way from the relationship before he moves on to his next conquest. Men or women who show such little respect to their own vows and promises are…well…words fail me. Perhaps the best I can come up with is…absolutely contemptible.

By Melinda

October 29, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

I always wonder how you can say you love your spouse and then cheat on them. I don’t believe it is possible to do both. Cheating on my husband would kill him. I love him way too much to do that to him. I cannot imagine sharing myself with someone else for the purpose of sex. The best sex is where there is true and honest intimacy. I honestly believe that you get out of a relationship what you put into it. By having affairs, you give away what you should be putting into your own relationship. People who have affairs are selfish and out to satisfy only themselves. You can justify it all you want… but that is what it is. I have absolutely no respect for anyone that is married going outside of the relationship to satisfy “getting horny”. I have broken off friendships with girlfriends because I no longer respect them. Spreading it all over the place is just NASTY….

By solution

October 29, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

If you have to cheat, then why bother getting married. There is a thing Called DIVORCE. Get one and then play the field all you want

By Reasonable and Rational

October 29, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Marriage = settling not fulfillment hence the term settling down. Women settle b/c their tired of going out, lonely, want kids, their friends are married. Men get married for similar reasons. There is no way one person completely satisfies the other that’s why so many people are in unfullfilling marriages and venture outside of their relationships. With that said, there is something to be said about having a level of respect for your mate. If that’s there that should keep you from wandering out. People need to be honest with themselves and live the lives that they want to lead. I for one get bored with women, no offense to them, but I live in a dynamic city with a lot of things to do and a lot of beautiful women. for that reason, I can’t see myself settling at this point. If I lived in Conyers or some exurb, and couldn’t get out to actually enjoy life and the things offered in a metropolitan environment, I perhaps would be more inclined.

By Melinda

October 29, 2008 5:21 PM | Link to this

I can’t imagine anyone thinking that marriage is settling. Or that you finally marry when you can’t find anything better out there. How unfair is that to the person you are marrying. Yes people change and desires can wane at times, but I never lose site of who we both are and what we want to achieve together. I have found that people come up with all kinds of reasons to justify infidelity…But you know what, if you are not doing anything wrong, you sure don’t have to try and explain it.

By Kyle

October 29, 2008 5:23 PM | Link to this

what if your wife is unwilling to do the “fun” things you want to do. without going into detail.