AJC > Sandy Springs > Blog > Archives > 2008 > October > 20 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USOMG! Is that your Dad on Facebook?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have my own page on Facebook - and that’s a phrase I never thought I would type into a work of non-fiction.
Apparently the social networking site that is so popular with those in high school/college has broadened its base to include those of us who remember the world before the internet.
For years I’d heard about Facebook but it was usually connected to some scandal. Or it was something my kids were into, not to mention their friends. The only time I saw Facebook was when Dr. Phil was doing a show on girls who wished they had never posted some naughty photos.
I started my page as a possible online marketing device, but it proved to be impractical for that. But by then I found that several of my friends had established pages as well. It was every kid’s worst nightmare - instead of getting busted by the folks mom and dad were joining the party.
For my generation it would have been like your parents pulling into Woodstock with the camper and inviting your friends in for vanilla wafers and lemonade while Hendrix was performing.
One of our daughter’s friends was aghast that I had been “allowed” to launch my own page. I didn’t know at the age of 52 that I needed a note from home. By the way, I did cut a deal with both kids before we linked pages. I would not growl at anything I came across on their sites. So far I’ve seen lots of pictures of college kids eating pizza, standing around at football games and other PG material.
Then again, they may have pulled anything that might reveal a tattoo that has not been mentioned, an open bar or a collegiate bacchanalia that was not mentioned in an e-mail home.
By the way, if you want to make your kid get the deer-in-the-headlights look in their eyes just start your own page without notice and then invite them to link to it. It’d be the next best thing to tapping a keg at the dinner table and offering them a taste - but Facebook is legal.
This all plays into my theory that the quickest way to eliminate something you don’t like in your kid’s life is not to preach against it, but take it on as your own. Adopt enough online networking sites, new music genres, fashion styles, etc., and pretty soon you kids will run for somewhere safe.
Like the library.
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By TnT's Mom
October 20, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this
My husband and I both have Facebook pages and are ‘friends’ with our HS age son as well as several of his friends. We have never had to ask him to remove anything. I think since he knows we are watching, he thinks about what pictures and etc he puts up there.
By DHD
October 20, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this
Somebody needs to check up on your kids. It may as well be you.
By Hellinahandbasket
October 20, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this
our kids are always freaking us out why not turn the tables?
i loved the look on my grown kids faces when i set up my page…their only plea…no baby pics of them…good thing i am sure a caring mom.
By Kim
October 20, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
I have had a page for about a year now. I first made it so I could “link” in to my 2 girls’ pages and monitor what was going on…now I find that I can use it to share pictures and keep up with my little brother in Illinois - its also yet another great way to send short messages to and keep up with my freshman at UGA . Funny thing is….several of my kids’ friends have added me as a friend!
By A
October 20, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
I have a page as well. My daughter who is a junior in college helped me set it up…not that I’m technically challenged. We have fun with it.
By Kat
October 20, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this
I have two teenage daughters who wanted to get pages on Facebook. I let them do it on the condition that I got a page too and was their “friend” so I could keep an eye on their pages. As I explained to them, I am more concerned about what others might post on their pages than what they might post. I agree with DHD, it is absolutely my job to check up on this…just like I know where they are and who they’re with in real life, I have the same obligation in the online world.
To my surprise, I started getting friend requests from friends from college, some of whom I lost touch with 20 years ago. And while I would never send a friend request to my children’s friends, like Kim I have gotten requests from some of their friends! Long story short, I probably spend more time on Facebook now than my kids do!
By sunshine
October 20, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this
Limited profiles- Your kids ae probably giving you access to what they want you see. Just keep that in mind. My mom is also on facebook to keep in contact with my sister and I who are in two seperate states. I’m a little older, so my wild FB pics have long since been removed , but I do know how to give certain people a limited profile so they can only see what I want them to see.
By ACH
October 20, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
My husband and I too have Facebook pages and yes, our kids were aghast at first. Now it’s a great way to keep up with them, especially our military son in the UK. It’s the only way we get to view his sight seeing pictures. I post pictures from home for him and limit them only to family. Now, the kids won’t answer my emails. Just messages from Facebook. I’ve only posted a few pictures from their childhoods. If they don’t like it, they just “untag” themselves. I also use Facebook to keep up with my out of town friends in a national volunteer organization, high school classmates and some relatives.
By JET
October 20, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this
Both of my parents have facebook pages (my mom for about a year now, my dad recently joined). I don’t have a problem with it, I think it’s fun. Like sunshine, I’ve been out of college a couple years now and I’ve since removed many pictures, but my brother is a senior in college and just about all of his friends and roommates are friends with my parents too. I enjoy looking at their pictures from their weekend trips just as much as they look at mine. I think it’s a great way for them to connect with their friends and neighbors that have moved away over the years.
By Mike
October 20, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this
For you parents out there who are Facebook ‘friends’ with your children, my money says there is a decent chance your kids have alternate Facebook pages that you are not aware of! You need to be VERY careful regarding what you let your kids do on the internet. An internet connected computer in your kid’s bedroom is extremely dangerous. No matter how perfect you feel your child is…
By kunify
October 20, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this
what is facebook? I prefer “the telephone book”. :)
By jess
October 20, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this
As my Mama always said:* Fool’s names like their faces, Always found in public places.*
By On FB
October 20, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this
I’m also 52 and on Facebook. One friend bugged me to get on back in the summer and I’m up to 75 friends already! [I don’t understand the need for 656 friends some of the kids have, however….] Mine are ACTUAL friends, not just “Facebook friends’. Here’s what I like about it: I can see what they are up to in a quick glance without having to actually email or phone ever last one of them. I feel closer to them as a result.
By Susan
October 20, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
Love facebook!
By AP
October 20, 2008 5:10 PM | Link to this
You all parents on facebook need to get off and respect your childrens’ privacy and learn to trust them. To the author… you had your moments during Woodstock and you are being hypocritical by spying on your kids when it is their turn.
By Facebooker
October 20, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this
I promise your kids have you all on limited profiles.
You are only seeing what they want you to see. Facebook lets you custom build a limited profile. Then you can choose which of your friends get the full profile and which ones get the limited profile. You can even pick and choose between photo albums.
I do love facebook. And I love it that my Dad recently joined. But you are fooling yourself if you think you are really seeing everything your kids have posted.
By Joedi
October 20, 2008 6:54 PM | Link to this
My 69 year old mother is on facebook. She has more friends than I!
By Lil' L
October 20, 2008 8:13 PM | Link to this
Love Facebook! I have a ton of friends from college and HS - it has been so much fun - we “hang out” together and ‘chat’. It has been wonderful for networking and there have several reunions - I think it awesome.
By caro
October 20, 2008 8:49 PM | Link to this
I too have a facebook, at 41. I have reconnected with friends I hadn’t talked to in over 20 years. I’m having a ball. My twins (16), were a little surprised when I signed on, and one of them has told me up front that she only gives me limited access to her page. I can accept that. I am “friends” with several of their friends, so it’s nice to go on and see the interactions.
By Sandy
October 20, 2008 9:21 PM | Link to this
It took my college age children a few months to get used to the idea that their Mom was on Facebook. But now it is how I keep up with all of my children, their friends, my friends, mutual friends…it’s a great way of networking. I have friends in Europe and South America who use Facebook and with the “chat” feature, we can have nice conversations, no matter what time it is on either side of the pond. Only problem is that my students (I teach at a university) are finding out about my facebook account. Oh well, better not put anything up there that might “offend” my students. :) ha ha
By mom3boys
October 21, 2008 6:34 AM | Link to this
My son is going to school out of state. FB is a great way to keep up, share pictures, and share experiences w/ friends I’ve met whose kids are there as well. Hey, maybe I’ll friend you!
By C
October 21, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this
Actually, tapping the keg at the dinner table and offering them a taste is also legal in Georgia. As long as it is only your own kids, and you are in your own home.
By jokurone
October 21, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this
my kids thought it was hilarious that i created a “FaceBook” but only did so because a Vietnam Buddy invited me to his and i didn’t think it was much different than a Home Web Page.
By GA
October 22, 2008 7:08 PM | Link to this
I have both, FaceBook AND MySpace and I am 62 years old! I just recently signed on to both, and guess what? Not only am I now connected to my siblings but also their kids and their kids! They think I am the cool one in the family!
By DB
October 24, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this
ROFL! I, too, have a Facebook page. I figured I might as well when my mother-in-law beat me to it! My daughter was rolling her eyes that “it’s getting pretty bad when both your mother and grandmother post friend requests on Facebook on the same day!” I was astonished at how many of my friends from around the country ended up sending me friend requests — it’s been nice to get a peek in their lives. I made the same promise, not to comment on their Facebook page unless it was to say “Happy Birthday”! And they, in turn, were surprised at how many of their friends send friend requests to me!
I have to admit, though — I love the Bumper Sticker application :-) My daughter and I compete to see who can find the best “Twilight” bumper stickers :-)
By Marlin Benatar
December 29, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
Jimmy, You are “right on, right on” dude. Iove it !! thanks for the advice. I need to talk to you ASAP. please email it and I will give you my # as well. - you may know me as a friend in the Roost meeting. Marlin B.