AJC > Sandy Springs > Blog > Archives > 2007 > February > 05 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USWhen a son turns 20
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Our son Zach hits a pretty big birthday this month, at least from a parent’s perspective. This week, he turns 20.
For Zach, birthdays 19 and 20 are pretty useless on the major-event chart of life. Those two years are spent waiting to jump from semi-legal status at 18 to full-legal status as the pager turns over to 21. I think a promised 21st-father/son birthday trip to New Orleans may be affecting his judgement.
However, from my chair this one is big because it means he’s officially out of the teenage years. At 13, one is urged to put away childish things. When they get through their teens they are ordered to put away those really childish things. Whoopee cushions, bathroom humor, purloined girlie magazines and the like are the detritus of the male maturation process.
The journey from the first day of 13 to the last of 19, however, has its share of positive milestones.
The obvious one is that driving comes into play. At 15 Zach began learning to drive Sunday afternoons in the cavernous parking lots of office complexes. Eventually we had to hit the open road where straying outside the lines is more serious than doing so in a coloring book. I still have a bum knee from applying the phantom brake pedal on the passenger side back in the days when 10 mph seemed fast.
In what was a very short 14 months, he had his drivers license. It was a jarring experience to watch him drive away from the house and not be sitting in the passenger seat. I imagine he enjoyed it more than I did.
I was there for his first slow dance, by dint of the fact the middle-school administration wanted a lot of us fathers to act as chaperones-cum-bouncers. I don’t recall the song that played. I’ll never forget watching two 13-year-olds hold on to each other and sway to the music.
I was there for his first shave because that’s something fathers are supposed to pass along to their sons. He may never make a choice so carefully as he did his first razor. And hearing the phrase: “Dad, I’m out of shaving cream” took some getting used to.
High school was as big for Zach. He landed a small role in the fall play his freshman year. His junior year he played organized football for the first. He was on the varsity, but was pressed into service as a starter on the offensive line for the JV team because he was the only one who knew all the blocking schemes.
He also became quite good, I hear, at poker during these years. His best night netted a windfall of about 10 bucks. At least that’s the story I heard.
These memories could go on forever, but I should stop before I break into “Sunrise, Sunset” and start the waterworks. But suffice it to say I’m going to miss that teenage kid.
Happy No. 20, Zach. See you on Bourbon Street next year.
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Comments
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By Mother_of_a_son
February 5, 2007 09:28 AM | Link to this
I “feel” this article! My oldest, a son, turns 20 in two months. It’s hard to believe that time has passed so quickly.
Happy Birthday Zack (and Dad)
By fayce2b
February 5, 2007 09:42 AM | Link to this
My daughter turned 20 in November. I know your feeling. Speaking of breaking into Sunrise, Sunset, she played “Tzeitel” in her senior play..
By Festus
February 5, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this
I know George H and Barb are looking forward to the day when W reaches the maturity of a 20 year old.
By Topdog
February 5, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this
Going from 20 to ADULT is a lot to take. That is what my son will do in a couple of months when he turn 21. He will be consider an adult and that in itself if frighting. He will be graduating from college soon after he turn 21, so that make for a double wammie.
By Mike
February 5, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this
My daughter turns 19 in a few weeks. I feel your pain. She started college last fall and the house sure feels empty. The love of my life, she is growing into a fine young lady. Although I am so proud of her, there are many times I wish I had that 5-year old back so we could go to the malt shop and share an ice cream. Things were simpler then …
By Mimi
February 5, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this
It’s true what they say - “Little boys step on your feet when they are young and on your heart when they grow up.” I survived 20 and I am sure that I will survive the upcoming 21 - just not willingly!!!
Happy Birthday Zack!
By SHG
February 5, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this
Our oldest turns 20 in 3 months. I share your sentiments. I can remember when he was 9 and my wife and I shared a moment when we realized he was as close to going away to college as he was to being born….when we dropped him off at college it was not so dramatic…he is a man and we treasure the past as we look forward to the future.
By dd
February 5, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this
All, Please remember to tell your 19,20,21 or any age child for that matter how much you love them EVERYDAY. It’s very hard to let them leave the nest, but it’s even more difficult when they are no longer here on earth with us.
By MBW
February 5, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this
“My” Zack will be 20 in April. Wasn’t he just born yesterday? What a fine young man he has become. His dad and I could not be more proud of him!
By fk
February 5, 2007 07:48 PM | Link to this
I can’t imagine 20. Are they nicer then? When does the “my parents are the biggest morons on earth” phase end? Our son just turned 16 so we’re at the driving stage. It’s really scary.
dd-very true. My nephew passed away last year, and even though my sister-in-law and he were always on good terms, she would do anything to spend another moment with him. He was 19.
By Margie
February 5, 2007 10:40 PM | Link to this
Happy 20th Zach!!!!!!! Great job Dad and Carol. He is a wonderful “grown-up”. You should be very proud.
Greetings from Texas
MJ
By JR
February 8, 2007 02:40 PM | Link to this
Mine are 29 and 30. Where are the grand kids we were promised?