AJC > Sandy Springs > Blog > Archives > 2006 > December > 25
Monday, December 25, 2006
Predictions for Sandy Springs for 2007
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As we close the books on 2006, I thought this would be an opportune time to try to forecast some of the major happenings in Sandy Springs over the next 12 months.
I had a team of computer experts writing a program to help with the predictions but those Internet pictures of Britney Spears without her knickers sidetracked them, so I’m on my own here:
The CBS television moguls will know a good thing when they see it and place “CSI: Sandy Springs” into the fall programming schedule. In the first episode the investigators (Jimmy Smits as the emotionally distant squad leader and Pamela Anderson as the smart-as-a-whip criminalist in a push-up bra) use their forensic skills to discover the naturally flowing spring that gave the city its name is actually a busted water pipe neglected by Fulton County since 1955. A recurring plot line will involve Fulton Commissioners trying to duck the resulting $76-million past-due water bill.
Tired of forever having to answer the question of where Sandy Springs stops and Dunwoody begins, our forward-thinking mayor and city council will simply annex the neighboring community in the first of a series of corporate-inspired takeovers. Roswell, Norcross, Lawrenceville and all of Forsyth County fall like dominoes.
In an effort to make this a more trendy read, in late May I will begin work on a column titled: “What’s All This Fuss Over a Brazilian Bikini Wax, Anyway?” as I agree to undergo the procedure. My screams can be heard three states away and I don’t feel I can sit safely until after Labor Day.
Traffic on Roswell Road is finally brought under control when the city simply paves everything east of the busy avenue, going from five lanes to 48.
After a contentious split with the City of Atlanta and Fulton County in February, the Atlanta Braves will relocate to Hammond Park, retool the lineup and rename themselves the Sandy Springsteens. The ‘steens win the World Series, sweeping the hated New York Yankees in four straight.
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