AJC > Sandy Springs > Blog > Archives > 2005 > October > 10
Monday, October 10, 2005
Dear daughter, As you start to drive…
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Amelia:
Later this month you will be getting your driver’s license, so I wanted to share some thoughts with you. Sorry for doing it publicly, but there may come a time when I need witnesses that I actually mentioned some of these things.
If it helps, this is also meant for your friends who are getting their licenses. And those that already have them. And those yet to get a learner’s permit. OK. This is aimed at pretty much every person in middle school or high school in Sandy Springs.
And your brother got this same lecture two years ago.
First, I’m going to be gruff dad. I have been to Washington, D.C., and read an original copy of the Bill of Rights. Teen driving was not listed. Having your license is a privilege. Getting access to a car is a privilege. We parents grant those things and we can take them away. And we get to decide what’s fair.
You have a mobile phone. When you get into the car to drive, turn it off. And put it in your purse. And put your purse in the back seat out of reach. If you feel you just have to make or receive a call, pull over, park and turn the engine off. Then reach for the phone.
Until you get many miles under your belt (100,000 is a good start), no eating or drinking while driving. No messing with makeup or hair. No eyeballing cute boys.
Please keep the radio turned off the first few months you are out there by yourself. It’s a distraction. This applies to cassettes, CDs, MP3 players, etc. You have a lovely voice. Sing.
You may have noticed your mom and I do not always allow what other parents let their offspring get away with. That will not change. We might become stricter.
There are laws about what beginning drivers can and can’t do. It is your job to know them. Especially the ones governing the number of passengers and the hours you can be behind the wheel. Your mom and I may also be stricter here, as well.
I know I do not always use my turn signal. Or obey posted speed limits. I know sometimes my language - especially on Roswell Road of 285 during rush hour - is inappropriate. Do as I say, not as I do. Help me to be the driver I ask you to be.
By the way, keep your middle finger wrapped around the steering wheel. It changes nothing. I know this from experience.
No speeding.
If you want these rules relaxed, do five simple things:
Get and keep a job.
Buy your own car.
Make all payments.
Pay all insurance fees.
Pay for all fuel and repairs.
Then you get a vote. Sorry.
Do you know how to check the air pressure in the tires? The oil? The power steering fluid? The transmission fluid? How to operate the jack and change a tire? If not, ask me.
You have probably rolled your eyes a dozen times while reading this, but I have a very selfish reason for being such a curmudgeon. You came into my life 11 years ago when I started dating your mother. I considered myself very lucky four years later when I married your mom, because I got a beautiful daughter that day as well.
As you know, several kids around Sandy Springs have died in the past few years in automobile accidents. Kids your age sometimes think they will live forever. Not all of you will. Kids your age still have some maturing to do in terms of good sense. Some never get the chance. You and your peers need to remember this:
There is nothing like the pain in the eyes of a parent who has lost a child, and no sound as anguished as their cries. I have stood at gravesides with parents, at the funerals of their children, and held them. Their grief is so deep I have felt it in my own heart. If you think the earth and sky are limitless in capacity, let me assure neither can begin to contain that amount of hurt.
When a child dies, they take some of the parent with them. I pray no parent ever has to feel that loss. I pray this most of all for your mom and me.
So if only for our sake, please be careful. OK?
I love you so much….
Dad
