By jct

April 4, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

After the age of 5, you eat what is placed in front of you. I don’t have the time nor inclination to cook numerous meals. Food is way too expensive to waste.

I am not like my mother was though; if you chose not to eat, she would warm it up for breakfast the next morning.

By Patriot

April 4, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

My wife and I definately do NOT fix seperate meals for the kids.They are grown now but we have the grand kids over. Dinner is prepared and put on the table. If you want to eat it fine if not fine. If you don’t eat what was prepared then you will not eat anything until the next meal. When kids get hungry enough they will eat whatever is put in front of them. Who are they to dictate what the parents provide? Eating what was prepared for you is a form of discipline that begins in the home…sadly it is lacking in many homes today.

By Stan

April 4, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

We have no kids at this point, but I can’t imagine that we would make separate meals. I have friends that do that for their 3 kids, no way I would want to do that disservice to my kids.

By Pam

April 4, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

My kids are now 12 and 14. I’ve never cooked separate meals. My attitude is “This is dinner. If you choose to not eat it breakfast is tomorrow morning and you’re headed to bed for the evening.”

It took a couple of times before the youngest realized I meant it.

By Karen

April 4, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

I only cook separate meals on the weekdays because my kids are 2 and 5 and I want to eat my dinner in peace after a long day. But they get the same food that we eat (usually our leftovers from the day before). I do not make chicken nuggets, pasta, bread, other white/tan foods, and my kids will eat anything. We have been to other countries, and other than spicy food, they will try and eat most anything. Do this from the beginning and life is so much easier for everyone.

By Magenta

April 4, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

Ha! My son and I are omnivores; however, my husband thinks it’s not a “meal” unless there’s meat. So guess who I cook “special” for?

By mel

April 4, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

All I got to say is that when I was growing up, you ate what mamma put in front of you or you would starve. None of this choice crap. She put healthy and nutricious food on the table and we just ate it up.

By parentof4

April 4, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

I have never cooked different meals for my children. In fact I kindly inform them (guilt trip) that there are a lot of children whose Mother does not cook for them. Let alone they all sit at the dinner table almost every evening. After a while, as they grew older, I just stated. Fine you cook dinner then. Two days of breakfast for dinner (i.e. cereal) and me eating out…they stopped whinning and thank me each time for cooking a wonderful dinner. :)

By OutSideAgitator

April 4, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

I’m a divorced single dad. My daughter will be 18 in June. She was always taught to eat what was placed before her. It was always healthy and nutricious. After all..I was the adult and I was in charge. No whining about eating marshmallows or cocoa puffs. This did not bother her. As a result we would sometimes go crazy and eat junk. However that was rare.

By OutSideAgitator

April 4, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

I’m a divorced single dad. My daughter will be 18 in June. She was always taught to eat what was placed before her. It was always healthy and nutricious. After all..I was the adult and I was in charge. No whining about eating marshmallows or cocoa puffs. This did not bother her. As a result we would sometimes go crazy and eat junk. However that was rare.

By Matt

April 4, 2008 5:17 PM | Link to this

Eat what I cook or don’t eat at all. Pretty simple. Separate dinners? WE are the ones in charge not the kids. Jeez.

By Nurselady

April 4, 2008 5:48 PM | Link to this

I hate to say it but I am the mom who does cook a seperate meal to some extent. An example would be I am baking BBQ chicken but my kids don’t like the sauce. So I would bake the adult chicken in one pan and the plain kid chicken in another. Or another example is my daughter hates beef, she is a chick-a-terian. So if I make beef tacos for us I might saute a chicken breast for her or even fish. She loves fish tacos. I don’t believe in the going to bed hungry thing. Food shouldn’t be a punishment. If you ordered something in a resturant and didn’t like it you wouldn’t go to bed hungry. However, when I do make very adult meals I will have the kids taste test to see if they are open to it. Oh well, I’m the odd ball.

By sk8nmomma

April 4, 2008 6:56 PM | Link to this

My favorite mantra: I am not a short order cook.

My dc cook what is prepared or find an alternative on their own. The one exception when I prepare something different for them is when I cook something spicy. (They don’t do spicy.) Then and only then it is something quick & easy like chicken nuggets or a can of soup.

I’ve never catered to my dc’s tastes and I don’t have any guilt about it…No, ma’am.

By sk8nmomma

April 4, 2008 6:57 PM | Link to this

My favorite mantra: I am not a short order cook.

My children eat what is prepared or find an alternative on their own. The one exception when I prepare something different for them is when I cook something spicy. (They don’t do spicy.) Then and only then it is something quick & easy like chicken nuggets or a can of soup.

I’ve never catered to my dc’s tastes and I don’t have any guilt about it…No, ma’am.

By lo

April 4, 2008 8:37 PM | Link to this

I agree, eat what is put in front of you. That way they’ll learn to eat a variety of foods. However, I do agree with the spicy/saucy stuff on the side on occassion. For example, I love curry but my kids can’t handle the sauce so I’ll just leave the sauce on the side so I can pour it over and my kids will get the meats plain with whatever sauce they want. Also, we have food allergy issues, so sometimes I have to make something separate for my daughter if I want to eat something she’s allergic to.

By Noelle

April 5, 2008 4:31 AM | Link to this

Absolutely not - I don’t like cooking as it is so I definitely do not cook separate meals for my child. I may cook an additional vegetable for us because we, typically, don’t eat some of the vegetables my husband eats but he eats all so it’s not like cooking EXTRA. Besides our kids are 16/23 and the 16 year old is the only one at home - eat what I cook or find your own meal around here.

By Fred

April 5, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

I have a 14 yr old who recently moved in with me,at first he refused to eat unless it was take-out, gradually it has evolved into eating the same as the rest, but minus spices (he likes everything plain),His mother catered to him to avoid conflict, my rule is that he has to taste everything, and he now knows that he likes a lot of foods he thought he didnt. Making kids eat what they dont like is not a good policy, sometimes the food can make them feel sick after eating, but they dont have the vocabulary to explain that. My friend forced his son to drink a glass of milk, even thought the kid was crying, he drank it, when he went to wash the glass, he smelled the milk, and it was spoiled. Taste the food for yourself, before making the child consume it.

By Andrea

April 5, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

No, I don’t cook separate meals. I do, like another poster, cook the meat plain if we are going to use a sauce on the meat that the kids couldn’t eat.

One thing we would do quite frequently to let the kids participate in the menu planning is we would always let the kids make their own menu on Family Fun Night.

It isn’t as complicated as it sounds. If we have leftover chicken or meat, we would set up a pizza, nacho, pasta or taco bar and everyone would make their own culinary creations choosing from the different items. It really works well for us. We know have uses for the leftovers and waste is minimal. The most time consuming part would be assembling all of the items for the bar and that takes maybe a half hour prep to presentation time.

By Noelle

April 5, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

I’m not a parent, but my parents were always clear that we’d eat what was served or nothing. There were a handful of exceptions; as an example, pieces of cooked tomato literally made me gag, so I got plain pasta if we had homemade sauce. But for the most part, we ate what they ate.

I see nothing wrong with leaving off sauces/spices, or substituting one item from the meal, and allergies/intolerances definitely need to be considered. But parents who cater to their kids’ every food whim are both spoiling them and spoiling their eating habits. Serve good food and expect them to eat it, and chances are, they will.

By fer

April 5, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

I never cooked separately for my kids! We went to all kinds of restaurants, ate all kinds of food. One was a picky eater, one ate everything. But it was a non-issue. As a result, they have grown up to be adventurous eaters and are raising their children the same way.

By MrLiberty

April 5, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

Who is the adult in your relationship with your child? Is there one?

Umless you have the time and energy to run your kitchen like a restaurant, you should cook one meal that everyone eats. If someone wants something different, they can help make it. Of course accomodate for allergies, or if they wish to become vegetarian. Allergies can be quite serious, and becomming a vegetarian is the greaest thing you can do to help reduce petroleum emissions (accoording to the UN.)

By Get over it

April 5, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

You should not cook separate meals for children unless it is for health reasons. Kids eating what is put in front of them prepares them for their early adult years (including college) when the food that they WANT to eat is to expensive or not available. The really picky kids sometimes grow into the adults who you don’t want to invite to lunch, dinner, gathering at your home, etc.

By catlady

April 5, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

No special cooking. One allergic child just avoided the foods that gave her problems (tomatoes, chocolate), another had to avoid milk products, but they were still available for others to eat. I decide WHAT is cooked; each person decides HOW MUCH they want. No power struggles. In between meals, some cheese, water of fruit juice, and fruit are available.

When each child began eating table food, I would not give them any of what I was preparing to introduce, but I made sure my husband and I guzzled whatever it was with great enthusiasm. The child would then beg for the food, which I would eventually give them a teaspoon of, with the admonition that “if you like it, I will TRY to remember to fix some extra for you next time.” No power struggles, no big deal. Needless to say, they REALLY WANTED whatever my husband and I were enjoying, and all grew up eating widely from the wholesome foods. Now adults, each one still (as do I) has certain things they discovered that they did not like. That is okay; we are individuals. I am happy to say that they eat things I never would (such as liver and beets) thanks to good, common-sense baby sitters who also did not make eating a contest of wills.

By catlady

April 5, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

P. S. on the spices/gravies ideas: I am the one who likes the plainest food so everyone added the spices they wanted to their own plates. My son has told his wife we didn’t cook with spices because we were too poor (I was in grad school for quite a while) but really it was because I have a tender tongue.

Having your own garden where the kids can go and get their own stuff really helps.

My older daughter did not know those marshmallow Easter eggs were edible until she went to school. Each year the bunny would bring them, she would hunt them, and then we would throw them away! She found out from the other kids that they were food, and was she shocked!

My mom virtually NEVER served Jello when I was growing up, but once my daughter was born my mom became the Jello Queen! She wanted to give her Jello at ever meal! Mom and I had a real power struggle over that one, so I had to invoke the “Dr. says” rule. I was raised a picky eater (my dad was) and my mom was always AMAZED at what my kids would eat, and how much they would eat. Well, if you don’t ruin their natural appetite with sweets and tea, they WILL eat.

By MOM OF MANY

April 5, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

We have 6 and in the beginning I did cook seperate for our oldest until she was about 3. She didn’t then and still 17 years later doesn’t eat anything with sauce on it. No chocolate, honey, syrup or anything that requires that she gets her hands dirty. the rest of them eat everything put in front of them. although it has never been a battle in my home with a picky eater, I have a nephew that would only eat cereal for his first two years on solid foods!!! I didn’t tolerate any such foolishness but mostly I try to cook a variety of foods so that there are enough choices to still have a filling meal.

By MOM OF MANY

April 5, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

We have 6 and in the beginning I did cook seperate for our oldest until she was about 3. She didn’t then and still 17 years later doesn’t eat anything with sauce on it. No chocolate, honey, syrup or anything that requires that she gets her hands dirty. the rest of them eat everything put in front of them. although it has never been a battle in my home with a picky eater, I have a nephew that would only eat cereal for his first two years on solid foods!!! I didn’t tolerate any such foolishness but mostly I try to cook a variety of foods so that there are enough choices to still have a filling meal.

By Bob

April 5, 2008 6:36 PM | Link to this

Two options:

or

By southside girl

April 5, 2008 9:32 PM | Link to this

I like the way you think, Bob!

By charliejoe

April 6, 2008 2:53 AM | Link to this

My house, my rules. Your rich daddy Duke isn’t here anymore. Oh Duke? Duke? Oh, Dukie? Oh how sad, Duke’s not here. Oh, boohoo. Now eat what I serve, hotshot, or I’ll give you something to cry about. (This Boy’s Life is Robert DeNiro’s greatest performance, if anyone hasn’t seen it and is a fan of his. One of Leo’s best roles, too.)

By charliejoe

April 6, 2008 2:55 AM | Link to this

BTW, when I was growing up, the only thing I wouldn’t eat was liver and onions, and I’d still rather go hungry than eat that foul crap.

By usuallyitsmywaydad

April 6, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

I do most of the cookng, and one day I made my 3 yr old older son eat some of his green beans for dinner, even tho he did not want to. Then he promptly threw them up at the table. At that point I realized I had to back off a bit on the eat your dinner approach. I still ask them to at least taste everything on their plates. The younger one has some foods that seem to make him gag/taste bad, so I didn’t push him on those. I found that if you just serve the food matter-of-factly, no fanfare, there is a better chance of them accepting what is in front of them. I know parents with small kids that eat only chicken nuggets and french fries. Hopefully they grow out of that by 5 or 6.
You have better odds of avoiding that if you serve them a variety from the beginning, and don’t give them a cookie an hour before dinner, and DON’T serve dinner and say ‘If you don’t like this would you like something else?’ My kids have grown up and eat everything from sushi to cajun, and love spicy food.
PS. Liver was one of my few losing battles, I love calfs liver but was never able to convince the kids it was gourmet food.

By Martha

April 6, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

My children ate what the grownups were eating…they never knew they had a choice, so they ate everything and liked it. They ate broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, raw oysters, greens, etc. The raw oysters were from about 3 (maybe 4) on up….g…and they ordered their own when we went out to eat. NOTHING makes me madder than to cook for someone and have that person turn up his/her nose, or for me to be told ahead of time that Johnny doesn’t eat this, this, this, or that. Johnny can go to Burger King and have it his way.

By Mike In Woodstock

April 6, 2008 8:59 PM | Link to this

I ALWAYS cook my little pooky schmookums whatever she wants. This includes Happy meals on demand or even cocoa puffs!

I would never in 10 million years make her eat something that she didn’t want to. Any parent who would do that to their child obviously doesn’t love them and is a horrible parent.

By FCM

April 6, 2008 9:11 PM | Link to this

“You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.”

I may make a meal for just the kids, if I am not hungry. Or I may do one for them early and one for me later if I have guest over after the children’s dinner hour.

I am a mom….I read the contract twice, pleanty of things I missed the first time I read it, but I have never seen a clause that says I am short order cook.

One concession: I like aspargus and they don’t. They like mushrooms and I don’t…so I do make small portions of those to go with a meal from time to time.

By Momma of 4 kids

April 6, 2008 10:29 PM | Link to this

* KIDS ARE KIDS FOR A REASON*

PARENTS SHOULD BE ADULTS

My babies eat everything from nuggets to bean sprouts. Introduce foods to your children at an age appropriate level and let them know they have the option of liking it or not… BUT IF THEY ARE HUNGRY THEY WILL EAT!!! Common sense tells you not to feed anyone food that makes them sick. Fixing seperate dinners is only for special occasions, ie we get steak… they get ribs and hamburgers. Other than that, eat what for dinner!!!

None of this “I want”… last time I remembered it was our job to tell them what they want. Kids want to run and play in the house… but they can get hurt, so we (hopefully) stop them and introduce appropriate behavior inside and outside the house. If you keep your kids in a “I will give you what you want mode”, sorry to say they will have issues with the real world telling them NO!

By Pam

April 7, 2008 7:44 AM | Link to this

I was raised by a mother who didn’t prepare special meals for me and now I will try any new cuisine. My kids teachers always compliment how well my kids eat.

However, one of the kids at my children’s school each canned soup for lunch EVERYDAY! His parents raised him to be a picky eater and continue to do it with total ignorance of how THEY are to blame for his picky eating habits.

By NOWASTE

April 7, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

I was raised to eat what’s in front of you, or starve. But that plate would be there in the am for breakfast if you chose not to eat it. And if you didn’t eat it in the morning, into a brown bag it went for lunch, with just enough $$ for milk. This method works the same way with my kids.

By Mark

April 7, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Mike In Woodstock

I nominate you for the funniest post award! LOL

By ATLmom

April 9, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

I have to confess: I make an adult version and a kid version if my son doesn’t like what I’m cooking for dinner (salmon for my husband and me, chicken breast for my son) or if it’s spicy, etc. If he just doesn’t like something, I’ll let him have a yogurt or something healthy from the fridge. I have foods I like and don’t like, so it’s just not a big deal to me.

By JohnNOsa

September 1, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

very good

By QRGarrettsa

September 2, 2008 4:15 AM | Link to this

very good