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Please, no boos or whines if your opinion differs
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Readers,
What is it with you people?
Every week I give and give and give. I work long hours laboring over my special prose, all in the feeble hope of dragging the lot of you into the bright light of knowledge where whispers of happiness become reality.
And what do I get in return?
Hellish snarls and cries of foul. “You did not include” … “You omitted” … “I think you missed” … “You forgot.”
Well, I say you will not weaken my resolve.
The ruckus involves my recent column in which a kind reader asked me to list my favorite alcohol-themed films.
I dutifully wrote about “Barfly,” “The Thin Man,” “The Verdict,” “Leaving Las Vegas” and “Long Days Journey Into Night.”
Here’s what I got in return:
From Dave Shafarow in Florida: “I was quite surprised that you did not include ‘The Lost Weekend’ with Ray Milland or ‘Come Fill the Cup’ with James Cagney. Do you not consider these excellent alcohol-themed movies?”
From a reader identified as TwoDuzies: “Surprised to find that you never saw, nor heard of ‘Days of Wine and Roses.’ Even though almost 50 years old you can still get it on DVD. Suggest you do.”
From Joel Ripley of Maple Plain, Minn.: “Kept reading wondering when you were going to list ‘Days of Wine and Roses’ and came to the end of your response disappointed. Did you leave it out in error?”
From Yvonne Syler: “I think you missed the all-time best alcoholic movie ever, ‘Days of Wine and Roses.’”
There’s more. Much more. But you catch their drift.
My response:
Ahem,
What might cause any individual in his or her right mind to fathom that I might have either not seen or actually had forgotten about any of the aforementioned movies is well beyond my grasp of possibility.
Do I look or dispense knowledge like someone who might not be aware of three of Hollywood’s major films from the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s?
If my favorite is not your favorite, then that would suggest to me that such truth is something you will have to live with.
Your films — especially “Days of Wine and Roses” — are just a jigger too much melodrama for my palate.
Notice I also didn’t say a word about “Arthur” or “Ironweed” or even “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” which happens to be one of my all-time favorite dramas. I didn’t mention “Animal House” or “My Favorite Year” or even “The Legend of Drunken Master,” an alcohol film I would have no trouble listing ahead of “Lost Weekend,” “Fill the Cup” and “Days of Wine and Roses.”
That’s not to say the three films listed by my dear readers are not good movies.
They’re just not my favorites. I didn’t forget them. Honest. I ignored them.
ALAN
P.S. You get my heartfelt thanks for your kind missives, and I get a Hendrick’s gin and tonic, which I will sip while wearing an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
It’s rare for Hollywood to set up production in my neck of the woods, so when cameras do roll, I’d like to see how well those films did at the box office. Is there a way to find out how well movies prospered theatrically in each state, specifically mine of Minnesota?
CORY NELSON, Plymouth, Minn.
Dear Ya, Sure, You Betcha,
If Minnesota and most states are anything like Georgia, then your government has a film board of some sort.
Like the Minnesota Film and TV Board in St. Paul, which you will find online at www.mnfilmtv.org.
On that site you can download a filmography that lists more than 120 films made in Minnesota, including “A Prairie Home Companion,” “Fargo,” “North Country” and “Jingle All the Way.”
Now go to www.boxofficemojo.com and plug a film title — such as “Fargo” — in the search. You will be rewarded with both domestic (North American) and worldwide box office figures.
For “Fargo” that’s $24.6 million domestic and $60.6 million worldwide.
ALAN
P.S. You get a large “Iron Man” figure and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
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Dear Mr. Smithee
In your list of films concerning mental illness, how could you forget the Academy Award winning “A Beautiful Mind”?
I may be crazy, but I think you’re a real Movie Guy.
Your Truly,
Diane Phillips 4849 Ridgewood Creek Drive Acworth, GA 30102