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SAG’s red carpet — where journalism goes to die

The Screen Actors Guild Awards gave us the season’s first major televised red carpet. Lucky us. Because what we got was the usual dynamic journalistic questions.

Like the one posed to 17-year-old “Desperate Housewives” supporting actress Andrea Bowen from E! newshound Debbie Matenopoulos — “If you could go home with any actor, who would it be?”

Matenopoulos also got Ricky Gervais (TV’s “Extras”) to show off his tux-clad buttocks.

And darn it if “Juno” actress Ellen Page didn’t flub her red carpet moment by forgetting which designer sculpted her shoes.

We saw brief visuals of major stars arriving in this order: Javier Bardem, Viggo Mortensen, Glenn Close and Ashley Tisdale. Thank goodness “High School Musical” was in the house to ensure A-list attendance.

And I am here to report that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were cited with great excitement as having arrived at about 7:20 p.m. Eastern time. “Brad and Angie just got here!” Matenopoulos verbally vomited with great excitement.

Where was “Live on the Red Carpet” host Ryan Seacrest? Apparently at home with the flu. And you know it’s true because this guy doesn’t miss face time.

Are we sure whether the Oscars should actually have a red carpet? I’m not. I’m still wondering when Casey Affleck’s mother is going to tell him not to chew gum in important public situations.

At least I was not only pleased by the SAG movie winners, but moved by what many of them said in their acceptance speeches.

Daniel Day-Lewis (best male actor for “There Will Be Blood”) talked beautifully about the late Heath Ledger. He said he looks to others for re-generation and “Heath Ledger gave it to me.” He talked of Ledger in “Monster’s Ball” and spoke of the final trailer scene in “Brokeback Mountain” in these terms — “as moving as anything I’ve ever seen.”

Julie Christie (best female actor for “Away From Her”) spoke about the dire need of guilds. The Writers Guild strike is about compensation involving DVDs, the Internet and cable stations. Unlike the Golden Globes, these awards happened in part because SAG supports the writers in their talks with the studios and producers and the writers promised not to picket, guaranteeing that many stars would attend.

As expected, Javier Bardem (“No Country for Old Men”) and his movie came away with two awards — for supporting male actor and for best cast.

“No Country” star Josh Brolin joked that it was Bardem’s 497th award. And Brolin also got right to the point about his film: “The Coen brothers are freaky little people. We did a freaky little movie whether you like the ending or not.”

Ruby Dee (“American Gangster”) won best supporting female actor for “American Gangster,” upsetting both Cate Blanchett (“I’m Not There”) and Amy Ryan (“Gone Baby Gone”). Avid Smithee readers will remember that after the Oscar nominations, I wrote that Dee’s ascendence was a plausible possibility because awarding her could be viewed as a lifetime achievement honor.

For all of E!’s trumpeting of how all the stars would turn out, there were many noticeable absences. TV winners Kevin Kline and Queen Latifah weren’t there. Presenter Mickey Rooney was left to wonder aloud, “Miss Latifah?” and wait for a few seconds before accepting on her behalf.

Also not there was George Clooney. And no matter how hard I looked, I never saw Denzel Washington, who was included in the cast award nomination for “American Gangster” nor Russell Crowe, whose two cast nominations were for “American Gangster” and “3:10 to Yuma.”

I don’t like that with the red carpet pre-show and the actual red carpet overcoverage lasted three hours and that the awards show lasted only two.

And I am left with at least two questions.

  1. What do they do with all the uneaten food, which could have easily fed Dunwoody. Full plates could be seen everywhere in front of celebs who could care less it was there.

  2. When is Kyra Sedgewick, stunning in her blue gown, going to star in “The Cloris Leachman Story”?

And one answer.

As for the actor Bowen would go home with, she mentioned Brad Pitt.

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