Access Atlanta > Movies > Blog > Archives > 2007 > September > 28 > Entry
Where have all the Sean Connerys gone?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Where have all the Real Men in movies gone?
I’m talking about guys like John Wayne, Kirk Douglas, Clint Eastwood (OK, let’s pretend “Bridges of Madison County” was never made) and Charlton Heston.
I don’t want to hear James Bond. He’s too smooth with the ladies. Actors today are wimps!
MIKE ANDERSON, Royal Palm Beach, Fla.
Dear When You Eat Meat, It Must Moo,
In days of yore, Grandpa Smithee had a vasectomy and, for whatever reason I have yet to fathom, decided to have it done without anesthesia.
I suppose that’s what you’re talking about. Grit one’s teeth and, in the words of another wise American, git ‘er done.
Just wondering, Mike, but where were you when “300” played in every theater on the planet? That movie had tons of over-abbed guys strutting around and knocking heads.
Russell Crowe is still amongst us in “3:10 to Yuma.” Tommy Lee Jones is in “In the Valley of Elah.” And surely Jason Statham is lurking around some opening weekend corner. You still have Kurt Russell. Maybe even Vince Vaughn. And, certainly, that big ape in Peter Jackson’s “King Kong” (the Real Man in that movie certainly was not Adrien Brody).
Plus, there’s always Denzel Washington. And get ready, Mike, because come Nov. 2 Mr. Washington will butt heads with Mr. Crowe in “American Gangster.”
But I do also feel your pain. And I know where to place the blame.
- A popular film. “The Revenge of the Nerds.”
Sorry to be the one to break it to you, pal, but the meek have already inherited the Earth. Geek is in. Geek is in control. The computer crowd has taken over.
They marched forward with their pocket protectors and now control the planet. Bill Gates is just one of them.
They control the summer box office. They watch horror films all year long.
This, ultimately, is why an underwear-wearing, bad-beat singing Marky Mark can emerge as Mark Wahlberg. It is why Mark Hamill was George Lucas’ vision of Luke Skywalker. It is why Shia LaBeouf is now Hollywood’s newest rising star.
It’s Shia who now gets the girl. And you better accept it.
Take my advice. Just keep chanting to yourself, “I’m a lumberjack, and I’m OK.”
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Heartbreak Kid” pillow bearing the face of Ben Stiller (I am not making this up) and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
“Con game” movies may be my favorite genre.
Some of the ones I enjoy most are “Matchstick Men,” “House of Games,” “The Spanish Prisoner,” “The Sting” and the first “Oceans” movie.
I, like many others, think you are a guru in all things movie-related and would enjoy seeing your top 10 con-game movies.
MARK AMUDEO, Smyrna
Dear Mr. Soze,
Sorry, but the bouncy “The Sting” won’t make my list. And my list, instead of strictly following a specific con, involves the art of the con and those who dwell in it.
1. “The Usual Suspects” (1995) - This was my once-wee son Cecil B.’s favorite movie when he was 12. Smart kid.
*2. “The Grifters” *(1990) - The ending is particularly awesome.
3. “Vertigo” (1958) - It might not be a traditional con movie, but the psychological power it wields is amazing.
4. “Nine Queens” (2000) - Classic con carried out in classic fashion.
5. “Wag the Dog” (1997) - This is what politics is all about. Very funny.
6. “House of Games” (1987) - Mysterious, complicated and all David Mamet.
7. “The Lady Eve” (1941) - Smart comedy. And I love cards.
8. “Six Degrees of Separation” (1993) - Our first proof that Will Smith is an excellent actor.
9. “Catch Me If You Can” (2002) - I just like it. And I’m generally not that big a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio.
10. “Paper Moon” (1973) - A lot better than the book - and the hillside confrontation scene between Trixie Delight (Madeline Kahn) and Addie (Tatum O’Neal) is dynamite.
ALAN
P.S. You get an “Ocean’s Thirteen” T-shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
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