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Even Halle has to do stuff that’s just plain yucky
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
This is LaDonna Potter, and I am writing about the super-creepy new Film “Perfect Stranger” — but the only thing perfect about it are the two GORGEOUS red dresses Halle Berry wears in it, and I sure wish I knew where she got them!!!
Halle plays an investigative Journalist named Rowena — but you have to pay attention, because before the movie is over she will use about a half dozen other names as aliases. And that includes the fake man’s name she writes under for her newspaper column! I don’t understand why anybody would want to write and pretend to be the opposite Sex, but I don’t work for a newspaper full time, what do I know?! :-)
But maybe I should try to work for a newspaper because it obviously pays real good! Halle wears these gorgeous, expensive-looking dresses. And she lives in this enormous apartment in a beautiful New York building with a Doorman and the whole nine yards!
Well, I guess I should tell you more about the Plot.
It goes like this: Rowena quits her job (no matter how good it pays) because she’s mad because her Editor won’t print her story about a Senator who hits on male Interns — but that is an OLD story, so I can’t much blame her Editor myself.
Rowena runs into an old friend named Grace who tells her she has been fooling around with a married man named Harrison who runs a big Advertising agency. Only, he has not been returning Grace’s calls lately, and she is ready to tell his wife all about their affair.
She tells Rowena, “He has no idea what I can do to him.” But he never gets to find out, either, because she winds up dead in the river.
That’s when Rowena decides she smells a rat, which is not hard to do when you are in New York City because there are rats EVERYWHERE! (OMG, did you see that video last month of all those rats in that KFC/Taco Bell in New York? I have not touched fried chicken since! But I have had tacos, because my sweetie Guillermo is the Taco King!)
Rowena gets a job as a temp worker at Harrison’s Ad agency, only under the name Catherine. And she also starts flirting with him online, but under the name Veronica. Yes, it is confusing. But she is convinced that maybe Harrison had her friend Grace “offed.”
Harrison is played by Bruce Willis, and do you remember when he was kinda hot? I do, but I probably shouldn’t admit it ‘cause that just shows how old I’m getting! ;-o
Bruce Willis is officially no longer hot. Part of that is on account of the bad Toupee he wears, which looks like a little fuzzy landing strip on the top of his head, or a Brazilian Wax.
Worst of all, Halle has to pretend she is all crushed out on him, and there is one scene where she even has to make out with him. (Ewww.)
Well, at least he is not as bad as creepy Giovanni Ribisi, who plays Rowena’s friend Miles. Miles is a computer wizard who can hack into anybody’s computer and do things that I don’t think computers can really do, but this is a Movie so you have to just accept it.
Miles has a HUGE crush on Rowena, like, of the quasi-stalker kind. And he’s always hanging out in her big huge apartment. It’s almost like he lives there, but who can blame him — because when we finally see his apartment it’s dark and creepy, like a really weird college kid might live in. And that’s even BEFORE we see his secret room that’s wallpapered with Porno!!!
I won’t tell you if Bruce or Giovanni or Gary Dourdan (who plays Halle’s cheating ex-boyfriend) is the one that really killed Grace. I wouldn’t want to spoil the ending, because it’s something you’ve gotta see for yourself, it is that insane.
The main reason to watch the movie is to see Halle Berry act her head off. You know she is a serious actress because there is a scene where she sees a dead body and vomits in a sink, but she looks good doing it. If that is not the definition of Star Quality, I don’t know what is!!!
She also eats direct from an open Ben & Jerry’s tub in one scene, and you almost believe she would do something like that in real life, until you look at her figure and realize Halle probably hasn’t put a carb in her mouth since 1992.
So I’m not saying “Perfect Stranger” is a good Movie, because as a matter of fact it is god-awful.
But I am glad to have been asked to write this column — even if it’s only because my lazy ex is too busy calling around town trying to get somebody to hook him up with Rosario Dawson while she is here this weekend at Atlanta Comics Expo. Ha! Ray Purlky getting a chance with her is about as likely as Giovanni Ribisi hooking up with Halle Berry — am I right?????
“PERFECT STRANGER”
• Naked breasts: I am simply going to ignore this.
• Dirty words: Yes. In fact, I was amazed by how many “f-words” the movie has!!!
• Best lines: “What are you doing later?” Halle asks her boyfriend, and he goes, “You.”
• The rest: Directed by James Foley. Rated R for sexual content, nudity, some disturbing violent images and language. At metro theaters. 1 hour, 49 minutes.
Comments
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By JML1974
April 24, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this
yea, I heard the movie was pretty bad…..oh well….just waiting on it to hit the blockbuster aisle