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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Alan Smithee’s most satisfying Oscar moments
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve been watching the Oscar show since way before my once-wee sons, D.W. and Cecil B., were born. I rely on memory (and my brain is good), so here’s my top five most satisfying Oscar moments:
1. “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” wins a record-tying 11 Oscars. I loved the movie. Every minute of it. I didn’t want it to end no matter how many endings it had. I was so happy that it won every Academy Award it was nominated for. I only wish it had been up for No. 12, won it and ended up with more Oscars than “Ben-Hur” and “Titanic.”
2. Whoopi Goldberg’s Oscar speech. When she won for “Ghost” I thought what she said was heartfelt and real. This is part of it: “I wanna thank everybody who makes movies. I come from New York; as a kid, I lived in the projects and you’re the people I watched. You’re the people that made me want to be an actor. I’m so proud to be here.”
3. Adrien Brody wins best actor for “The Pianist.” It was unexpected. happy and an especially glorious moment when he dipped presenter Halle Berry and gave her a whopping kiss.
4. Bjork’s asinine red-carpet swan dress. The worst ever. But give her credit. It’s a moment that will live forever.
5. David Niven sizes up a streaker. The 1974 ceremony was interrupted by a naked man running across the stage, demonstrating that period’s streaking craze. As co-host, Niven put the guy in his place, remarking how the man had demonstrated “his short-comings” to the world.
Surely you have your own favorite Oscar moments. Tell me what they are.
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Mr. Smithee challenges thee to pick more Oscar winners than he
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve picked who I think will win in every Oscar category. Can you get more correct than I do?
Fat chance. Make a printout, make your own picks and see who’s best on Sunday night.
Those of you most confident should to ahead and let me know now where you think I’m wrong.
Picture: “The Departed.”
Actor: Forest Whitaker, “The Last King of Scotland.”
Actress: Helen Mirren, “The Queen.”
Director: Martin Scorsese, “The Departed.”
Supporting actor: Eddie Murphy, “Dreamgirls.”
Supporting actress: Jennifer Hudson, “Dreamgirls.”
Original screenplay: “Little Miss Sunshine.”
Adapted screenplay: “TheDeparted.”
Animated film: “Cars.”
Foreign-language film: “Pan’s Labyrinth.”
Cinematography: “Children of Men.”
Film editing: “Babel.”
Art direction: “Dreamgirls.”
Sound mixing: “Dreamgirls.”
Original score: “Babel.”
Song: “Listen” from “Dreamgirls.”
Costume design: “Marie Antoinette.”
Make-up: “Pan’s Labyrinth.”
Visual effects: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.”
Sound effects editing: “Letters from Iwo Jima.”
Documentary: “Deliver Us From Evil.”
Documentary short: “Recycled Life.”
Animated short: “No Time for Nuts.”
Live-action short: “The Saviour.”
P.S. Printing too much of an effort? Add your picks to the game which has the top nine categories.
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And the Alan Smithee best Oscar host award goes to …
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Like you, I don’t appreciate how long the Academy Award show is. Hollywood’s ultimate parade of the delusional starts on a Sunday and ends, I don’t know, sometime around Thursday.
Blame it on William Holden. In 1953, back when sanity still reigned, the show reached its television time limit and Holden, who won best actor for “Stalag 17,” got cut off. He was able to utter “thanks” and the show went bye-bye and straight to commercials.
The post-show uproar from Holden and others is what led to the Oscar ceremonies’ now open-ended schedule. They get to natter on about how great they are and how much they appreciate their publicists; we get to doze off in front of the TV set.
Fortunately for us, some Oscar hosts are good enough to make the proceedings tolerable. And sometimes quite entertaining.
I have high hopes for Ellen DeGeneres. She’s very amicable on her talk show and seems to make her audience comfortable and happy. And she’s known to make people laugh even in the touchiest of times. She hosted the Emmys right after 9/11. The show was delayed twice over two months, but when it finally aired she stood her ground and said, “What would bug the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?”
Here’s my own countdown of a few past Oscar hosts, starting with the bad and ending with the very best:
8. DAVID LETTERMAN. What was he thinking? “Oprah, Uma; Uma, Oprah.”
7. WHOOPI GOLDBERG. I always tired of her laughing at her own jokes. But I did like it in the year of “Saving Private Ryan” vs. “Shakespeare in Love” when she showed up in full regalia as Queen Elizabeth.
6. STEVE MARTIN. His quips were often long, but pointed. “But that is what is great about show business. It’s a tolerant business. It’s the most tolerant in the world. We have black people, white people, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, Christians, all working together. All because of a single common love: publicity.”
5. JON STEWART. Not quite as effective as watching “The Daily Show.” But he knew how to put Hollywood and government in their places - at the same time. Explaining why Bjork, who once wore a swan outfit to the Oscars (with beak), was missing from the ceremony: “She was trying on her Oscar dress, and Dick Cheney shot her.”
4. CHRIS ROCK. I imagine the Hollywood machine was uncomfortable with his go-for-the-jugular jokes. But I liked him. Exposing the wide gap between the tastes of the public and Oscar voters, he included a segment where he interviewed moviegoers at a Magic Johnson theater, revealing they had no interest in some of the best picture nominees.
3. JOHNNY CARSON. It was almost like watching his talk show, which most of the country did anyway.
2. BOB HOPE. Easy. Smooth. Self-deprecating. Rarely controversial. He hosted at least a dozen times. One of his first quips came the first night he hosted when “Gone With The Wind” swept the awards: “What a wonderful thing, this benefit for David Selznick.”
1. BILLY CRYSTAL. Nobody can touch him. Every year he’s not there I miss his song parodies, his fast one-liners and his ability to make the Hollwood self-absorbed laugh as much as we’re doing at home. Best of all, he always made us think it’s not quite bedtime yet.
COMING WEDNESDAY: Guess you had to be there but you probably weren’t. Still, these were great Oscar moments.
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