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You don’t have to wait for scoop on Oscar’s faves
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Readers (Hint: That, my friends, would be you),
Oscar nomination ballots were due last Saturday, which means all those grand Golden Globules dispersed on Monday were of high but limited marketing value.
Academy Award contenders will be unveiled on Tuesday, but I see no reason not to spill what the bulk of them will be. Or should be.
BEST PICTURE: This is the Oscar race, the one in question, the one most up in the air. Why? Because there’s not a real worthy winner.
Oscar predictions: “Dreamgirls” (aka “Big Studios Get a Lot of Oscar Votes”), “The Greatest Show on Earth” (aka “Babel”), “The Departed,” “Little Miss Sunshine” and “The Queen” (aka “The One That Should Win By Default”).
Mr. Smithee’s alternatives: Keep “Sunshine” and “Queen,” toss out the rest and ad “Pan’s Labyrinth,” “United 93” and, I am serious about this, “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.”
BEST ACTOR: The ultimate winner would be a foregone conclusion if not for the late entry of Peter O’Toole playing an aging and near-death actor.
Oscar predictions: Forest Whitaker in “The Last King of Scotland,” O’Toole in “Venus,” Lenoardo DiCaprio in “The Departed,” Ryan Gosling in “Half Nelson” and Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happyness.”
Mr. Smithee’s alternatives: Keep Whitaker, O’Toole and Gosling, toss the rest and add Daniel Craig in “Casino Royale” and Sacha Baron Cohen in “Borat.” (I mean, don’t they want the public to actually watch the awards?)
BEST ACTRESS: The eventual winner is a foregone conclusion. (Hint: Helen Mirren).
Oscar predictions: Mirren in “The Queen,” Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada,” Judi Dench in “Notes on a Scandal,” Penelope Cruz in “Volver” and Kate Winslet in “Little Children.”
Mr. Smithee’s alternatives: I wouldn’t change a thing.
BEST DIRECTOR: If Martin Scorsese doesn’t win now, he will never ever ever win.
Oscar predictions: Bill Condon for “Dreamgirls,” Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris for “Little Miss Sunshine,” Stephen Frears for “The Queen,” Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for “The Greatest Show on Earth” (aka “Babel”) and Scorsese for “The Departed.”
Mr. Smithee’s alternatives: Take out Condon and Inarritu and add Paul Greengrass for “United 93” and Guillermo del Toro for “Pan’s Labyrinth.”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: If they nominate Ben Affleck for “Hollywoodland,” then Oscar voters are dumber than I thought.
Oscar predictions: Eddie Murphy in “Dreamgirls,” Djimon Hounsou in “Blood Diamond,” Jackie Earle Haley in “Little Children,” Alan Arkin in “Little Miss Sunshine” and Jack Nicholson in “The Departed.”
Mr. Smithee’s alternatives: Let’s get rid of Hounsou and Nicholson and add in Mark Wahlberg in “The Departed” and most certainly Bill Nighy in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Can we just not cut to the chase? Eventual Oscar winner: Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls.”
Oscar predictions (aka the losers): Cate Blanchett in “Notes on a Scandal,” Adriana Barraza in “The Greatest Show on Earth” (aka “Babel”), Rinko Kikuchi in “The Greatest Show on Earth” (aka “Babel”) and Abigail Breslin in “Little Miss Sunshine.”
Mr. Smithee’s alternatives: I don’t have any alternatives, but I do have a comment: If Blanchett can win an Oscar for “The Aviator” for being an inferior Katharine Hepburn, Hudson certainly ought to be able to take one home for being less than Jennifer Holliday.
I’m sure we can all take this last category to the bank.
ALAN
DIDN’T I TELL YOU SO? Why, yes, I did.
Joyce Daniel of Powder Springs recently voiced dismay over the limited access to “The Last King of Scotland.” I said that with awards season in swing, she could expect “Last King” with Forest Whitaker to show up eventually in “plenty of theaters.”
At the time, “Last King” was set to return to Atlanta today and play in two theaters. After Whitaker’s win at the Golden Globes, that’s been upped to at least a dozen: Discover Mills in Lawrenceville, Southlake Pavilion in Morrow, Barrett Commons in Kennesaw, North DeKalb in Decatur, Magic Johnson in Atlanta, Merchants Walk in Marietta, North Point in Alpharetta, Atlantic Station in Atlanta, Hollywood 24 in Chamblee, Regal 22 in Austell, Mall of Georgia in Buford and Medlock Crossing in Duluth.
I smell Oscar.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MR. SMITHEE?
E-mail him at alansmithee@ajc.com or go to accessAtlanta.com and click on Movies. Please include your name, city and daytime phone number. Mr. Smithee can’t reply to every request, but inquiries chosen for publication will receive movie-related prizes.
Permalink | Comments (3) | Categories: Alan Smithee
Comments
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By Martha Mae
January 21, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this
What is it with you and Gillespie’s infatuation with Alan Arkin as supporting actor nominee? Why not the boy in LMSunshine or even Steve Carrel? It is rather like Judi Dench getting it for 5 minutes worth in SILove. Borat as Best Picture? Are you nuts? Not even Casino Royale which I have paid to see three times (I generally see a movie only once) is Best Picture material, altho Daniel Craig’s nomination as Best Actor would certainly be a welcome addition and give a warranted kick in the rear to the old double agent genre. Who has seen Pan’s Labyrinth or Venus in Atlanta? Where prithee Smithee do they play?
By Martha Mae
January 21, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this
What is it with you and Gillespie’s infatuation with Alan Arkin as supporting actor nominee? Why not the boy in LMSunshine or even Steve Carrel? It is rather like Judi Dench getting it for 5 minutes worth in SILove. Borat as Best Picture? Are you nuts? Not even Casino Royale which I have paid to see three times (I generally see a movie only once) is Best Picture material, altho Daniel Craig’s nomination as Best Actor would certainly be a welcome addition and give a warranted kick in the rear to the old double agent genre. Who has seen Pan’s Labyrinth or Venus in Atlanta? Where prithee Smithee do they play?
By Oh Shut Up!
January 23, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this
Well, Martha, it’s possibly because Alan Arkin gave a fantastically well-rounded performance of a loving, if very damaged grandfather. Unlike “the boy” (Paul Dano, by the way) or Steve Carrel, Arkin’s role was integral to the main plot of the story and he lived up to every minute he was onscreen. His presence was felt in the climactic scene—when his physical presence wasn’t even onscreen.
And by the way, Pan’s Labyrinth is currently playing at these theaters (to name a few):
Midtown Art Cinema Regal Atlantic Station AMC Parkway Point Regal Hollywood 24 Regal 22 at Austell Lefont Sandy Springs Regal Arbor Place GTC Merchants Walk AMC Barrett Commons UA North Point
And Venus won’t be open for wide release until Friday, 1/26. So get off your high horse already. I’m sure it’ll distract the rest of us who would like to see the movie.