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Like mindless entertainment? Then skip these
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Dear Mr. Smithee,
I have been reading your column for a long time and really appreciate your wit and sarcasm (oh, and your expert movie advice).
I am going to be a senior in high school next year and would like to know of any good, thought-provoking or “deep” movies I should watch before going to college.
PARATIBHA ANAND
Sandy Springs
Dear You Asked For It,
I don’t want to be reading any follow-up letter about how dark and dreary the movies I am about to list are. Or how their characters drone on and on about life and meaning and morality and travails.
Because, my fine Paratibha, that is exactly what is meant by the word “deep.”
But, oh, to be you, my friend. To be young again and open and seeking knowledge and tasting so much of life for the first time.
I give you these movies because many are the ones I saw when I was your age and thirsting for the stimulation that only cinema can offer.
In other words, you need to see these French films: “Grand Illusion” (1937), “Children of Paradise” (1945), “Beauty and the Beast” (1946), “The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie” (1972) and “The Wages of Fear” (1953).
And these Italian films: “The Bicycle Thief” (1948), “La Dolce Vita” (1960), “Cinema Paradiso” (1988) and “The Night of the Shooting Stars” (1982).
These German films: “Metropolis” (1926), “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” (1919), “Run Lola Run” (1998) and “Wings of Desire” (1987).
These Japanese films: “Rashomon” (1951), “Ran” (1985), “High and Low” (1963), “The Twilight Samurai” (2002) and “Woman of the Dunes” (1964).
These Spanish-language films: “The Sea Inside” (2004), “Talk to Her” (2001), “Amores Perros” (2000) and “Open Your Eyes” (1997).
These Scandinavian films: “The Seventh Seal” (1957), “Fanny and Alexander” (1982), “Through a Glass Darkly” (1961), “The Five Obstructions” (2003), “The Kingdom” (1994), “Reconstruction” (2003) and “Open Hearts” (2002).
And these: “The Gods Must Be Crazy” (1980), “Moolaadé” (2004), “Breaker Morant” (1980), “Walkabout” (1971), “Noi the Albino” (2003), “The World of Apu” (1959), “Battleship Potemkin” (1925), “Hero” (2002), “No Man’s Land” (2001).
And these: “My Dinner With Andre” (1981), “2001: A Space Odyssey” (1968), “Blowup” (1966), “Secrets and Lies” (1996) and “Donnie Darko” (2001).
Plus: “All About Eve” (1950), “Apocalypse Now” (1979), “Annie Hall” (1977), “Blade Runner” (1982), “Chinatown” (1974), “Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” (1964), “Intolerance” (1916), “Paths of Glory” (1957) and “Vertigo” (1958).
And especially watch all 10 parts of Poland’s “The Decalogue” (1989).
Yes. Watch each and every one and then get back to me. There might be a pop quiz.
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Happy Feet” T-shirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
Dear Mr. Smithee,
Movie studios often release movies straight to DVD/video without ever releasing them in theaters. Is there more to it than studios trying to unload bad movies? Are there any straight-to-DVD/video movies that you would recommend?
JED CRIDLAND
Atlanta
Dear Heed My Warning,
Movie studios, it seems to me, couldn’t care less about quality. They’ll release anything, anytime, anywhere if they think Jed Cridland is going to plunk down his hard-earned cash at the box office.
Straight to DVD does mean sometimes that a movie wasn’t deemed good enough to be released theatrically. But some movies are made with the intention of being released only on DVD. It’s a profitable market unto itself.
I don’t believe “Bring It On: All or Nothing,” the straight-to-DVD sequel to the immensely exciting (didn’t the world think so?) 2000 cheerleading film “Bring It On,” was intended to ever see a darkened theater.
And it didn’t. And I saw it anyway at home. Because when a reader asks a question, I research to get the answer.
Therefore, not only was “All or Nothing” worth just about nothing, so is just about every straight-to-DVD movie ever thrust upon the gullible public.
ALAN
P.S. You get a “Deck the Halls” sweatshirt and an “Ask Alan Smithee” T-shirt.
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