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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
“Secrets of the Thin Mint”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have been remiss in not announcing a winner for our last contest, which was to come up with an idea to help poor Dan Brown with the long-delayed sequel to “The DaVinci Code.”
Fortunately, choosing was easy, as contributor Kat let loose with this rant:
“Well, DB’s interest seems to be in exploring and exposing secret societies and organizations. Most of these exist right under our noses, in the open, you just have to know what to look for, and DB lets us in on the secrets. So the obvious choice for his next book is the Girl Scouts.
Before you laugh (or verbally beat me over the head with a box of cookies), consider this: I once attended a GS leader training event that involved a weekend campout. Due to difficulty grasping the fire-building part, our meals were few and far between. We were kept up very late at night and were awakened way before the crack of dawn by a sadist banging on a metal pot. All the time we were being instructed on the CORRECT GIRL SCOUT WAY of doing things. And believe me, there is a CORRECT GIRL SCOUT WAY to do everything, from washing your dishes to what to wear.
After two days of this, I would have agreed to do anything just to be allowed to sleep a little and maybe have a hot meal. That was when it dawned on me…isn’t this the way cults operate?!! They keep you tired, cold and hungry, then indoctrinate you into their belief system!
Dan Brown, this organization is a gold mine for your next novel, and we haven’t even scratched the surface! The addictive nature of those cookies is enough to get you started. We collectively hold our thin-mint-scented breath awaiting your next novel.”
Kat, I think you are on to something. My Well-Read Wife was once a Girl Scout Leader, and her darling young charges once actually circulated a petition to get her fired because she was so mean to them. Her crime was making them talk to other girls outside their cliques.
Anyway, any time you take a bunch of 11-year-old girls and a couple of moms who are not supposed to drink and stick them all in the woods for a weekend, you are going to get DRAMA!
Thanks for playing. Your prize, alas, will not be a book this time. I will instead send you a box of Girl Scout cookies of your choice as soon as they come in.
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