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Let’s pitch in and help Dan Brown
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
According to a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, the new Dan Brown novel once was due out in 2005. That year came and went, as did 2006, as did 2007. It’s now 2008, and no Brown book. His agent isn’t saying what’s what, his publisher is being coy, and Brown isn’t even available enough to issue a “no comment.”
This matters, of course, because Brown’s last book was “The DaVinci Code,” a badly written but ultimately fairly interesting thriller that seemed to tap into something much deeper than the usual airport bookstore paperback. His mishmash of real history, made-up history and tinfoil-hat conspiracies linking Mary Magdalene and I.M. Pei was just what a gazillion people wanted.
It was the biggest novel of the last 10 years that didn’t start with “Harry.”
But “DVC” came out in 2003. Brown had been a pretty steady author, bringing out four books in five years.
Supposedly, Brown’s next novel is called “The Solomon Key” and is about the Freemasons and U.S. history. But who knows? Maybe it isn’t. Maybe Brown has been kidnapped by an albino hit man who is being controlled by an evil Catholic cardinal. It could happen.
Anyway, this cannot continue. We have to band together and help Dan Brown. Maybe he has writer’s block. Maybe he needs ideas.
Our contest is to come up with what Dan Brown’s next book should be. Post a title, a pitch, an idea, a rant, whatever. Extra points for funny.
We’ll keep it open till next Tuesday, Feb. 5, and then I’ll just pick the funniest winner and find a cool book to send them.
Come on, Dan Brown is counting on us. What should his next book be?
Permalink | Comments (4) | Categories: Contests
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By Kat
February 1, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
Wel,, DB’s interest seems to be in exploring and exposing secret societies and organizations. Most of these exist right under our noses, in the open, you just have to know what to look for, and DB lets us in on the secrets. So the obvious choice for his next book is the Girl Scouts.
Before you laugh (or verbally beat me over the head with a box of cookies), consider this: I once attended a GS leader training event that involved a weekend campout. Due to difficulty grasping the fire-building part, our meals were few and far between. We were kept up very late at night and were awakened way before the crack of dawn by a sadist banging on a metal pot. All the time we were being instructed on the CORRECT GIRL SCOUT WAY of doing things. And believe me, there is a CORRECT GIRL SCOUT WAY to do everything, from washing your dishes to what to wear.
After two days of this, I would have agreed to do anything just to be allowed to sleep a little and maybe have a hot meal. That was when it dawned on me…isn’t this the way cults operate?!! They keep you tired, cold and hungry, then indoctrinate you into their belief system!
Dan Brown, this organization is a gold mine for your next novel, and we haven’t even scratched the surface! The addictive nature of those cookies is enough to get you started. We collectively hold our thin-mint-scented breath awaiting your next novel.
By Penny
February 1, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
“The Teletubby Invasion” These creatures from another planet managed to pitch themselves at British Television execs as a children’s show. In reality, they are brainwashing our children, gathering data in their tummy TVs to take back to their planet in order to take over Earth!
By Kate
February 1, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
Definitely something with boinkable androids.
By RUChinadoll
February 5, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
A conspiracy about how the Catholic church (his favorite theme) suppressed the Mayan culture because they knew that the end of the world is Dec 21, 2012.