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Vote for the best euphemism
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’ve had a week of entries for our Best Euphemism Contest, if we define “euphemism” as meaning all sorts of colorful expressions. We had euphemisms, sarcasm, metaphors and various turns of phrase.
To everyone who entered, bless your hearts.
Anyway, here are a few that stuck out for me, and they cover a variety of approaches. Please vote for your favorite among the following. Remember, the winner gets my copy of “How Not To Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms,” by R. W. Holder. We’ll keep voting open through Friday noon, because I don’t think I’m going to be overwhelmed with votes. But you never know.
Which is the Best Euphemism?
Eclectic (meaning incomprehensible)
Temporarily unavailable (meaning We can’t be bothered, go away)
A couple Skittles short of a rainbow (meaning stupid)
She is really nice (meaning she is fat)
A few fries short of a Happy Meal (meaning stupid)
She’s a hard worker and tried hard (meaning your child is so dumb if breathing weren’t involuntary she’d suffocate)
Pursuing other opportunities (meaning fired)
Permalink | Comments (17) | Categories: Contests
Comments
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By Rickster
January 9, 2008 8:13 AM | Link to this
How about “Bless her heart” - meaning: I want to kill that stupid *itch!
By Jeff
January 9, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this
well, I’m gonna go with “She’s a hard worker and tried hard”. Not only is it redundant, but in my experience in the classroom it is all too true!
By Brenda
January 9, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this
Shut the front door!
By MrLiberty
January 9, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
“Fair and Balanced” meaning anything but…
By Nan
January 9, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
“Pursuing other opportunities” — it’s in the same vein as another good one I’ve heard used a lot: “between opportunities” (unemployed).
By jeed
January 9, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
“You’re special.”
By Hand Solo
January 9, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
Badgering the witness Jerkin’ the gherkin Doin’ the five knuckle shuffle Priming the progeny pump Lashing the one-eyed sailor Flogging the dolphin Apprehending the perpetrator
By Capt
January 9, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer - Meaning stupid
By Erin
January 9, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this
I like “a few fries short of a Happy Meal,” personally, but I also like “Well, bless your heart!” which can apply to just about anything.
By Hoya
January 9, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
self-empowered female = s** with abandonment issues
honors student = kid who will eventually flip his sh** and shoot someone
By ash
January 9, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
He has sugar in his drawers - Southern for gay man fyi - *uck you, idiot Oh wow, I love it, thank you - I am going to need the gift receipt for this. She shops at Kmart - she has no sense of style I am not sure why I date him… - a jerk who is good in bed
By Beth
January 9, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this
A couple Skittles short of a rainbow (meaning stupid)
By RUChinadoll
January 9, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this
I vote for skittles!
By Greg
January 9, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this
Speaking of gay men and rainbows… how about “That boy is gayer than a handbag full of rainbows!” - meaning someone who is FLAMINGLY gay
By LR
January 9, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this
Wow, what a great list of phrases and misnomers we’ve been hearing for the last 10 years and stopped finding amusing after 2nd or 3rd repetition. Seriously, someone gave you a book deal for this? But I digress. Here’s my favorite, which comes from the wonderful wide world of tech support: “That’s just an undocumented feature”
By DecaturKev
January 10, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
Euphemistic phrasing was done best in that old Brit-com “Yes, Prime Minister”, uttered by Sir Desmond (1987), “City’s a funny place, you know, Prime Minister. If you spill the beans you open up a whole can of worms. I mean, how can you let sleeping dogs lie if you let the cat out of the bag? Bring in a new broom and if you’re not very careful you find you’ve thrown the baby out with the bathwater. If you change horses in the middle of the stream, next thing you know you’re up the creek without a paddle.”
By Matt
January 10, 2008 7:15 PM | Link to this
A couple of skittles short of a rainbow