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Get the point? I think you do
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
This one is for the husbands and the wives, or anyone who has enjoyed a long-term relationship. It’s about the game of points, as explained in the new paperback book “Points: Women Have Them, Men Need Them,”by I. Glebe.
Glebe, a pseudonym for an “ordinary guy” who’s been married seven times, has written an enjoyable tongue-in-cheek spoof of this game some couples play, sometimes subconsciously, rarely with full public acknowledgment.
As Glebe explains, there is only one basic rule: “Men Need Points. Women Do Not Need Points.” But within that rule, a lot happens.
Men get points through compliments (not fished for), gestures, gifts, flowers, public acts of affection, and, when all else fails, abject apologies. Men can also lose points, through not listening, answering questions incorrectly about how these pants look, playing too much golf, etc.
Men can spend points on things like jet skis or golf clubs, Glebe writes, but points really aren’t about jet skis. If you don’t know what points are about, you are too dumb to be helped by this blog.
Glebe also doesn’t assign actual point values to specific acts, because he is not a woman. It is the woman’s job to assign the point values.
This is all in fun, and I hope I’m presenting it that way. So is this game and book of “Points” horribly sexist and old-fashioned, like some Blondie cartoon in the Sunday paper? Or is it a theory that has some merit in relationships even in now?
Anyone care to offer, under seal of blog anonymity, their own Points stories?
Permalink | Comments (19) | Categories: News and Reviews
Comments
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By Jen
January 3, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this
It doesn’t sound sexist…it sounds like something someone who has been married 7 times would think….
By Kate
January 3, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this
Nothing turns me on like the smell of Lysol on a man.
By Beautiful
January 3, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
WiseDiva and Bella is gonna get you for hijackin’ their subject!!!
lmao.
By Katie
January 3, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
If you think of it as a point system then you may be too childish to be in a relationship.
By Kat
January 3, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
I think the concept is funny, and probably truer than most couples want to admit.
By ron
January 3, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
Any guy that’s been married seven times has missed the POINT entirely.Mr. Glebe,it isn’t really necessary to marry every girl that’s nice to you.That’s the point,Mr.Glebe,that you need to hammer into your thick skull.
By Sassy
January 3, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
Interesting subject … Points Rule: “Men Need Points. Women Do Not Need Points.”
But I am certain in the minds of men woman lose their points for various reasons: cut their hair, didn’t shave their legs that day, gained a few pounds, etc.
Thankfully in my relationship the ‘point’ is to be there for each other!
Happy blogging y’all.
By Phil Kloer
January 3, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
I don’t know for sure, but I think the “married seven times” thing by I. Glebe is a joke. As for loving the “smell of Lysol on a man,” I’m glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read that!
By Tray
January 3, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
What if I’ve already won all the points?? What’s my wife supposed to do then??
By Jay
January 3, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this
Why do people—especially those who are single or divorced—insist on dispensing relationship advice? I guess so they can make money off the weak/dumb/shallow, who believe love is quantifiable, objective and formulaic enough that a complete stranger can help them find and/or keep it. I’m all for capitalism, but it’s a sad day when even our innermost feelings are dictated by commercial trends.
By Voice of Reason
January 4, 2008 7:56 AM | Link to this
Jay, you haven’t had any in a while, have you? Geez.
By FCM
January 4, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this
Oh, yes, if my ex- had emptied a dishwasher, folded laundry or bathed the kids without a hint/my asking—-who knows we might still be married.
Points are so much actual points….its more a tangiable part of communications…..For instance a friend of mine really appreciates it when I offer to feed him…He stopped by after work about 9PM—the kitchen/dinner dishes had been cleaned for hours. I went and made him a sandwich anyway. Different day, same person, called because he was in the area when my child announced we were completely out of toliet paper and my other child was in the tub. I sighed….in about 10 minutes (before I could consider leaving for the store) he was in the door with Charmin. MAJOR POINTS. It was a kind unasked for gesture.
However its not a ‘score keeping’ kind of thing. Its that he communicated that he understood my situation completely.
Better put its what fills the Love Tank that is discussed in the 5 Love Languages series. If gas is a tangiable that we put in the car, and communicating in the 5 love languages is how we fill the emotional tank, then pts are the gas.
Now we can bash me for being a Mom without toliet paper on Momania.
By DB
January 5, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this
FCM, ROFL at the bashing you for being a mom without toilet paper!!! My kids still vividly remember an incident during a two-week span when the husband was out of town on an extended project and I was NOT enjoying being a single mom, even temporarily! At 9:30 pm, I discovered that my son had finished off the milk I had been saving for morning breakfast. Too late to go out for milk, the kids were ready for bed — I had a major meltdown, because, DAMMIT, THE MILK WAS GONE!!!!!!!!!!! Even if you’re good at juggling, an occasional ball IS going to get dropped!
As far as “points” — I tend to agree with FCM more than the points system. The husband would say that “women don’t need points, they have the keys to the playground.”
By Betty D
January 6, 2008 12:17 AM | Link to this
And women get points for sex.
By Married Man
January 6, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
I dont spend my points. I let them collect interest. How? Putting the seat down gets me interest on my points. Cleaning up her cat’s hurl so she doesn’t step in it gets me interest on points, even though she usually doesn’t know I do it, how could she, it’s not there anymore and I’m not petty enough to mention it every single time. (Hating her cat is like an early withdrawal of my points and incurs penalties).
Through the miracle of compound interest, I’ve doubled all my points over the years. However because of inflation, all my points can only get me two nights out bowling with the guys and I’m saving that.
So I wander around the house, like Rip Van Winkle babbling about 9 pins, Wait a minute! I have a chance to get a point: It’s rush hour and the line for bagels is only two city blocks long and it’s 16 degrees outside, but she want’s a schmear… What an opportunity for me!
Set up the 9 pins boys.
By Jeff
January 7, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this
FCM:
Why would we want to bash you for being a mom without tp over there? I think some of the ladies there tend to forget that ALL parents are humans FIRST and parents second. In other words… crap happens!
By FCM
January 7, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
@ Jeff—LMAO—nearly spilled my coffee. Yes crap does happen and if you don’t have the TP…well its not pretty.
My comment on Bashing was tounge in check. You know we super parents cannot be caught without being a combination of Patricia Russo and Bree (Deperate Housewives).
By Jeff
January 7, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this
FCM:
Too true!!!
BTW: I (finally) got the books I ordered using my gift card from Books a Million. Between those 5, one re-read needed to read 2 of the 5, 2 I bought myself post-Christmas, 1 (remaining… finished PS I Love You Friday) I bought in early December, and 2 I got from my parents for Christmas, I now have 10 books in my 2008 queue, and that isn’t counting the two ‘So You’re about to be a Dad’ books I bought! (No official news on that end though, which is wny those two are at the END of the queue for now!)
By alanh
January 14, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this
points do happen. Just in unpredictable numbers. Never the same and always less than before. I have never gained enough points to get a get out of doghouse free card. Probably never will