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Wednesday, January 2, 2008
The Euphemism Contest
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve been dipping into the recent book “How Not To Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms,” by R.W. Holder (Oxford University Press). It’s an Anglo-American project, in that it was compiled by a Brit, but heavily influenced by American English slang.
It also makes me wonder: We think we know what a euphemism is — “the substitution of an inoffensive term for one considered offensively explict,” according to my American Heritage — but do we really agree?
Holder, for example, lists a lot of terms that I would not consider euphemisms. “Tart” for a promiscuous person, “joint” for a marijuana cigarette and to “string up” for to hang. In my book, (which admittedly is not published by Oxford University Press), those are just slang, not real euphemisms.
But then there are some doozies. “French ache” was a euphemism for syphilis in Elizabethan times, a “railroad Bible” was hobo slang for a deck of playing cards, and the “butler’s perk” is an unfinished bottle of wine.
Closer to home, many people have noticed the euphemisms for various jobs that have crept into the language, as well as the all-euphemistic code of people seeking dates: “curvy,” “athletic,” “adventurous,” etc.
Let’s start 2008 with a contest. Send in your best or favorite euphemism, and try to make it one that was not being used by stand-up comics in 1993. (As always, keep ‘em PG. I’m very aware of some rather fun euphemisms for a certain solitary act. Share them with your buddies instead.) We’ll leave nominations open for a week, then vote on our favorite. The winner gets my copy of “How Not To Say What You Mean.”
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