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Mother Theresa’s darkness
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.”
That’s bleak. But what’s extraordinary is that it was written by Mother Teresa. It’s but one entry from her private letters that have been published in the new book “Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light,” which debuted at No. 2 on The New York Times best-seller list Sunday.
Time Magazine did an excellent, very lengthy cover story on the book that moved me to tears. It raises profound questions for people of faith about what that faith means, and about living with doubts.
The book is a collection of correspondence between Mother Teresa — who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 for founding the Missionaries of Charity to work in the Calcutta slums — and a series of confessors and superiors over more than 60 years. She had asked that the letters be destroyed, but in fact the book was edited by a senior member of her Missionaries of Charity — the very man who is collecting the supporting materials to try to have her made a saint. He has said he sees the letters as evidence of her most spiritually heroic act, according to Time.
Mother Teresa’s doubts about her faith, her feeling of being disconnected from God and from Christ, were not passing. They were a deep part of her for most of her adult life, according to her letters. Yet she would get up, day after day, pray, attend Mass, and minister to the sick. All this despite living for decades in what she referred to repeatedly as “interior darkness.”
I’ve really been grappling with this new information about what was going on inside Mother Teresa for all those years. My faith is an important part of me, but when I’m among committed Christians I often feel like a flickering candle in a roomful of spotlights. I’ve decided that what I should take from this book is that if this woman could have such grave doubts and do what she did, then I should be able to overcome my flickers and do even more than I’m doing.
But I understand that maybe other people will draw different conclusions. Have you read the book? Or at least the Time magazine cover story?
What do you think of the revelation that Mother Teresa felt disconnected from God for most of her life?
Permalink | Comments (20) | Categories: News and Reviews
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By Carlton Johnson, MFP, ABA
September 24, 2007 8:04 AM | Link to this
I think Mother Teresa lived an honorable life of Christian service. Crisis with regard to faith is nothing new - especially to Christians. The Bible records Jesus’ words as saying, “The servant is not greater than the master…[and] you shall have tributlation in this world.” Jesus, by Biblical account, endured and conquered temptation, rejection, and even despair. Every Christian encounters these elements at some point in their walk. Therefore, I am convinced that Mother Teresa endured in her life her “Garden of Gethsemene”. The key feature in her life is not a lack of faith, but rather, a proving of faith - not about how she finished, but why.
By Jeff
September 24, 2007 8:23 AM | Link to this
Honestly I have not yet read either.
However, her travails, from what I have come to know over the years in my own life and others, are the same that many of us face.
Matter of fact, it is so common that roughly half of all the songs ATL-based Casting Crowns has put on their CDs have been about this issue or one of its tangents.
The solution? Good question. I think most of us do as Mother Theresa did - do what you can, when you can, and trust God above all.
If you ever find a solution better than that, write a book. It’ll be a bestseller. :P
PS: Hey Phil, I bought T (my fiancee - 19 days until the wedding) Meyer’s Twilight, since y’all said it was so good and she likes the vampire-romance novels so much. (Her b-day was yesterday, and she wanted a book to take on the cruise we’re going on for the honeymoon.)
By Kate
September 24, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this
Graham Greene’s books have always appealed to me because he explores the dichotomy of faith and doubt placing them together as two sides of a coin (The Power and the Glory, The End of the Affair—you find it in most of his novels in some fashion).
Faith without doubt seems like a cheap faith. If there is no doubt, you don’t have to really work at believing or having faith. You’re just accepting that which is unquestionable. I believe that doubt informs my faith, illuminates inconsistencies (“An eye for an eye” or “Turn the other cheek”?), and allows me to explore why I believe.
Doubt without faith is a dark place to inhabit and it seems that Mother Theresa spent time there. Yet, somewhere embedded in her “interior darkness” there must have been a flicker, something that made her continue on her path. Whether you call it faith in God/Allah/Yahweh/Buddha/fillintheblank, or altruism, or the call of the Pink Unicorn, something sustained her and gave her strength (or will) to continue.
One person’s flicker is another person’s spotlight. Staring at someone’s spotlight may leave you too blinded to see the darkness inside of them.
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
September 24, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this
Mother Theresa was a very bright and committed woman. It would be highly unlikely that she would ‘not’ question many things in life.
The fact that she was so devoted to her people and community speaks volumes.
Mother Theresa ‘IS’ human! And if anything…I think if anything we tend to try to make people perfect in view of public….but this really brings to the front that they are people who do extraordinary things.
Atlanta Pearl Girl
By Phil Kloer
September 24, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this
Jeff: Congrats on the upcoming wedding. And I’m glad you bought your fiancee the book “Twilight.” As to reading on a honeymoon, I have no comment. ;)
By Kar
September 24, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this
It’s not the sort of thing that you would expect from a literal “saint.” On the other hand, going back to St. Augustine and St Paul, these are real humans with real emotions and complicated personalities.
Somehow that makes her more endearing to me. Like Christ, she had flaws, doubts and moments of weakness. It didn’t end her faith or her mission in live.
By Amy
September 24, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this
It has become my belief through experience that the flickering candles are much more real that the spotlights. I appreciate Mother Theresa’s struggle, it is more real than playacting piousness.
Phillip Yancey is another “doubter” who has increased my faith by his honesty.
I am saddened that MT may have not been able to receive comfort when she needed it because of her status. It is a sad state of our religious world that you cannot be real and be unconditionally loved.
By Paula
September 24, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this
I really enjoyed this article. It makes me really feel less un-christian when I have doubts that contradicts my desire to be faithfilled.
Kate’s post was most interesting “faith without doubts sounds like a cheap faith” . um…. selah!
By Jeff
September 24, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this
Just because I’m somewhat interested in this” flickering flame vs spotlight” issue, because I mentioned the sheer volume of Casting Crowns songs that relates, and because so many people bring up points that remind of various CC songs, let’s see if I can do a brief summary:
If We Are the Body: “A traveler is far away from home/ He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row/ The weight of their judgemental glances/ Tells him that his chances are better out on the road/ Jesus payed much too high a price/ For us to pick and choose who should come/ And we are the body of Christ
Voice of Truth and Who Am I, both two of my personal favorites.
American Dream: “Cats in the Cradle” retold. Beautiful.
Here I Go Again
Does Anybody Hear Her and Stained Glass Masquerade are two other classics. (Masquerade is probably the single most relevant song EVER to this topic!)
Other CC songs that fit: Love Them Like Jesus, Set Me Free, What This World Needs, Every man, East to West, The Altar and The Door, Somewhere In The Middle
From a mathematical analysis, I’ve listed 13 of their 31 songs, or 42%, so “roughly half” from my earlier comment is actually correct! (Honestly earlier it was a gut feeling unsupported by actual facts!)
By Bob
September 24, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this
Mother Theresa’s doubts were well warranted. They study of history and science is helping mankind move forward. We are moving away from organized religions that use fear to control. We are evolving past the teachings of ancient allegories to try and truly answer questions about our purpose. The cloud of control is slowly receding as more people wake up and end the struggle Mother Theresa faced by embracing reality.
By Phil Kloer
September 24, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this
I have heard of Casting Crowns and know they are well regarded, but haven’t actually heard their music. I’m not doubting you, Jeff, but in my experience, very little in Christian music deals with “the dark night of the soul,” except insofar has it’s been overcome. “Come Be My Light” is, in a way, about not overcoming.
By Jeff
September 24, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this
Bob:
From science (well, more importantly, mathematics), we get:
Inside a closed system there exist truths which cannot be proven.
In other words, inside ANY closed system - our understanding of reality, for example - there exist objective truths which we cannot prove from within. In other words, we can know that there are objective truths, but we cannot PROVE them.
Sound familiar…
By Jeff
September 24, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this
Phil:
Check out some of the lyrics to the songs I posted. Start with Masquerade, as it is probably the MOST relevant. You may very well be surprised.
Christians typically don’t talk about it as much, and when we do we know that there is, in fact, hope - even when we don’t feel it.
Which sometimes makes it hurt even more. (TRUST me on that one!)
By Carbon Footprint
September 24, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this
Mother T proves that faith is arbitrary and different for each of us, and it doesn’t really matter if you think your soul has been touched.
Let each man see god 4 himself. If we all saw god the same way, then each individual would not be so important. Ever ask yourself, “why me?” Because it is required that it be you, and only you, with your unique observation about god. God needs us as much as we need him because he lives only in our minds as humans. We observe him. Each of us. He would disappear without our observations of him. He exists because we exist.
Your life only matters to the people in your orbit, and their perceived effect of you on them. Mother T. need not have fretted over her inability to see herself with god. None of us can see ourselves. Heisenberg proved that with math as precise as Newton’s first law. Act accordingly.
By J Michael
September 24, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this
Please change the heading of the blog: The secret life of Mother Teresa. Its really misleading. It’s not a secretive life she was leading. This article was published from some of the letters that she wrote to trusted people around her and from her diaries. In some of those letters she sounded depressing. But it was her total FAITH IN JESUS THAT CARRIED HER FORWARD. Just try to picture this. Mother Teresa of Calcutta was constantly taking care of the orphans, the sick, the elderly, poor, people discarded by the own family members filled with sores from leprosy. And the government of India hailed her as the great social worker. But her insistence on being under the Roman Catholic Church and her firmness on Christian principles and her philosophy of I am taking care of Jesus through these deeds catapulted her to severe hardships and she did face isolation from Hindu religious fascists in India. But she never backed down and continued to be a role model in Christ and correspondingly the devil will create stumbling blocks and thus it reflected on her writings. She was humble enough to admit the darkness she experienced in some periods in her life. In the Bible, even the Son of Man was tempted by the devil. Imagine the ordinary citizens, how much we go through… Mother Teresa is and forever will be remembered as the greatest saint who ever lived in the 21st century.
By Phil Kloer
September 24, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this
I’m gonna stand by my headline, J. Michael. I’m about one third of the way through the book, and it really is presenting sides of her that she never, ever showed in the public. I know the header has a whiff of sensationalism, but I also will defend its accuracy.
By Lily
September 24, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this
I do not believe in saints and this is a perfect example which shows even Mother Theresa herself was not a saint and she too struggled with her faith just as each of us Christians do/will. She was god fearing and a faithful servant but she also was human and of the flesh. God bless her. I think the book should be an inspiration and a comfort to all of those/us who can relate to this great woman.
By Shirley Ashanti
September 24, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this
I am not at all surprised and imagine most people feel this way although doubtless few probably admit it. I certainly do. God is a spirit, and life is a spiritual journey, but alas we are trapped in flesh for this short trip and therefore bewildered and plagued with so-called emptiness which could just be a yearning to understand this mystery. Who does not know one who fears just being physically alone? In the cosmic sense, we all are disconnected as we each are alone unless we happen to be conjoined twins. Continual faith and striving to become one with the spirit, the shortness of life and how we live it are what make it worthwhile and precious.
By bob
September 24, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this
religion is ignorance. Religion was usefull in 1500s to try and explain surnatural phenomena, thats it, thats all. THERE IS NO GOD. God didnt create us, HUMANS created god. Dont you see that religion is an EASY answer to complicated scientifical things? Religion and god are for lazy minds. God did that, God did this… WOW what an easy and dumb answer. IGNORANCE. read Christopher Hitchins on her, and read his book ” god is not great…how religion poisons everything”
(This post was edited by Phil to eliminate one sentence that violates our blogging policies.)
By Anna Burke
September 24, 2007 6:14 PM | Link to this
I had no idea that she suffered from those doubts, doubts that plague me as well. And yet she served God - whose existence she often couldn’t feel - every day? Amazing. How did she do that? And so many of us are flickering candles, but don’t admit it (too ashamed or too saddened by it?). I’m grateful these letters weren’t destroyed. They will probably be one of her most powerful ministries, and God works through her once again. I’m buying the book. I wonder how it will affect my faith.