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Well-behaved women need not attend
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve seen this bumper sticker around for years: “Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History.” So when a new book came out with that title, I sort of sniffed because I thought it was pretty much a cliche. Couldn’t the author have come up with something a little more original?
But be careful what you dismiss without knowing the full story. (Hey, maybe that should be a bumper sticker.)
That phrase was first coined in 1976 by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, a Pulitzer Prize-winning Harvard historian, who wrote in an obscure academic article. It appears to have gone dormant for a while, then cropped up in the mid-’90s in a book of women’s quotations. A woman wrote to Ulrich asking her permission to print it on T-shirts, and it has spread rapidly for the past 10-plus years, on coffee mugs and posters.
She writes in the intro to her new book: “The ambiguity of the slogan surely accounts for its appeal. To the public-spirited, it is a provocation to action. … To a few, it may say “Good girls get no credit.” To a lot more, “Bad girls have more fun.” … It is hard to tell whether this is about feminism, post-feminism, or something much older. One thing it doesn’t appear to have a lot to do with is history.”
Ulrich will be at the Margaret Mitchell House Wednesday night. There’s a reception at 6 p.m. and a lecture at 7; admission is $10 but it’s free to MMH members; and WAND Atlanta and Charis Books are co-presenting. Her book covers several centuries of the contributions of women, focusing on three and radiating out from there: 15th century writer Christine de Pizan, Virginia Woolf and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
Surely you’ve seen the slogan. Heck, maybe you’ve worn it. I always thought of it as pure feminism, the uncomplicated kind that rocked out in the ’70s. I never thought of it as endorsing naughty behavior.
What does it mean to you?
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By Me
September 18, 2007 7:48 AM | Link to this
Who cares
By KnowsBetter
September 18, 2007 7:59 AM | Link to this
Well-behaved women, especially in the northern ‘burbs, form clubs and cliques so they can be vicious about their non-boring sisters in a group.
Not-so-well-behaved women are secretly laughing about the former behind their Ann Taylor-clad backs.
Unfortunately, the truth is that the well-behaved group often get rewarded by winding up becoming the first wife of some shmuck, because they were foolish enough to think that there was some kind of reward for “good” behavior. I mean, duh.
On the other hand, “bad” behavior is best utilized in small increments, or poof, instant Britney. The trick is to keep ‘em wondering.
By Chassity
September 18, 2007 8:10 AM | Link to this
The slogan is just one of one woman who thought this phrase would mean women would think more aggressive in their approach to life, however being a secure woman has nothing to do with being mean and greedy or naughty. Some women have an appeal about them that if they are good then they will get far in life. For women in today’s society the quote is “You reap what you sow.” Take a look at Britney Spears who has been naughty and now she looks a hot mess. It is all about having dignity not pride because with pride destruction comes right before it. The slogan has much ambiguity in it. Feminism is all about women bonding across the world to better ourselves not to be in competition. Especially not for African American women anyway. We need not to take heed to that quote, we need to focus on remedying ourself from the crops of slavery and what it did to us, we have to much to accomplish to be worried about who should finish first verses who should finish last. Get your mind right people. The world is in a different place right now.
By Lady P
September 18, 2007 9:19 AM | Link to this
Let’s Talk! I have thought about this topic for some time…what makes a person a world changer? I believe that it is the moral leader who does not fear standing up for what is right and decent that really changes the world…not the rebellious, flag burning, anti- social rebel, but the person who says…”hey, this is wrong.”
The “well-behaved woman” usually follows the rules and is the backbone of society. The women who are memorable rear their children, love and respect their husbands, respect authority, and provide moral leadership in their sphere of influence. This is not a bad thing.
Once in a while, a Margaret Thatcher or a Golda Meir steps on the world stage and says…”Listen, I have some ideas that I think may solve this situation.” And certainly they were well-behaved.
Women of this world, pay attention to what you are called to do. First and foremost you are to be responsible for your family…your children, your husband and your home! This is NOT society’s responsiblity…it is YOURS! Pay attention to what your children are doing. IT IS YOUR JOB! Do it well! Be great for your family!
When you see an opportunity to do something great, whether society deems it large or small, be courageous and step forward. Reach out and help someone else.
I say give me “well-behaved” any day…whether it will make history, that remains to be determined. Not many people take advice from people who are not well-behaved.
Remember this, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Selah!
By Terri
September 18, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this
BLACK REPULICANS WAKE UP! TAVIS SMILEY GAVE A PLATFORM FOR THE REP AND DEM CANDIDATES TO DISCUSS SOME IMPORTANT ISSUES! NONE OF THE FRONT RUNNING REP SHOWED UP! WHAT DOES THAT SAY!!! WAKE UP! VOTE DEMOCRAT! REPUBLICANS DO NOT CARE ABOUT OUR ISSUES!
By Jess
September 18, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this
I’ve always known this quote to have come from Eleanor Roosevelt.
By Jeff
September 18, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this
Phil:
I didn’t see the “Request Comment Removal” button on this blog like I’ve seen on some others, but what does Terri’s 9:37 post have to do with ANYTHING we have discussed SO FAR on this blog, much less today??
By Phil Kloer
September 18, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this
Jeff: The comment by Terri may not be on topic, but let’s just move on.
Jess: I think the quote may have been mis-attributed, as so many great quotes are. If Churchill, Twain and Wilde had truly said all the clever things they are supposed to have said, they would never have shut up!
By ChrisD3
September 18, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this
Terri’s just another black woman who actually believes the Democrats care about her because she’s black. Laughable. Democrats promise free stuff to blacks, so they won’t look after themselves, and therefore will continue to rely on the Dems. Ironically, it’s slavery all over again; the difference is that it’s voluntary. Poor blacks will never improve their lives until they practice self reliance instead of screaming racism. Pathetic.
By Jen
September 18, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this
I always took it to mean that women shouldn’t feel like their only course in life was to be a wife and mother. That’s it.
And truly, now, how many people do you actually know who are so one-dimensional that they fit that bill of solely wife and mother?
By Jeff
September 18, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this
As far as the quote qoes:
It is basically the same thing as the tagline from the movie “Men of Honor”: History is made by those who break the rules.
Nothing political about it, be it feminist or otherwise. Simply a statement of fact.
We remember Pearl Harbor because Japan broke the rules of peace, not because of other events that happened that day.
We remember Jimmy Doolittle not because of his daily actions, but because of his Tokyo Raid that broke the accepted rules of aerial warfare.
Heck, we remember the Apostle Paul because he broke the rules of Judaism more than for being a Jew’s Jew (which he was before his conversion).
“Well behaved women seldom make history” == “History is made by those who break the rules”
By sharon
September 18, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this
Let’s ignore Terri and ChrisD3 by staying on topic. Other than those two, (Terri and ChrisD3) good posts.
By Bruno Anthony
September 18, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this
Hey, Phil “quote” is best used as a verb; quotation is the noun. Since you are, ostensibly and putatively, a professional writer, how about attempting to observe fine Strunk-like points of composition? Be a paragon — not an example of declining standards.
By Phil Kloer
September 18, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this
Hey Bruno, thanks for participating. My American Heritage Dictionary lists “quote” as a noun as well as a verb, characterized as “informal.” I consider this blog to be informal. I will grant you that Strunk & White may prefer using “quote” as a verb. While I do not dismiss Strunk & White, I do not feel the need to follow them on every point.
By Simply despise liars
September 18, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this
Aren’t we ALL a little bad when the doors are locked and the lights are dim. Or when we think that no one is looking….. EVERYTHING that a person does is not reported (thank God!) Kudos to the women (and men) who are world changers regardless of their percieved behaviors! Reminds me of another saying made popular some time ago…. “Live and let Live”. …. Bruno, please Strunk that any way that you want it! lol
By Lady P
September 18, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this
Being well-behaved is not about politics, it’s living a respectful life. Manners and morals are at an all time low…integrity and respect are the exception…and we wonder why so many people are angry and out of sorts.
I have had a very properous business career for over 30 years with a husband and two daughters to consider. My priority has been my family, as it should be. I chose this. I believe my greatest success will be my love and concern for my family.
I feel that I am a part of changing the world. I have mentored over 500 women…most of them struggling to regain control of their lives, become better mothers, daughters and friends.
Women unite…wake up…black, white, yellow…take inventory. Quit complaining and set some honorable standards. Well-behaved…YES, indeed!
By Charlene
September 18, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this
“Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History.” This statement makes me think of women in history that stood up for what they believed in no matter the personal cost. They weren’t “well-behaved” because they didn’t just act like the mindless submissive females they were supposed to be at the time. I’m thinking of women such as Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman, and Lucy Stone. Now these are the kind of people we need for role models today instead of the self-obsessed famous.
By Kate
September 18, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this
I say give me “well-behaved” any day…whether it will make history, that remains to be determined. Not many people take advice from people who are not well-behaved.
I must disagree with you, Lady P. I read “well-behaved” as one that goes along with the status quo, unquestioning. I don’t think you need to be obnoxious when challenging the system, or the ideology of the times. But sometimes you need to speak at more than a whisper to make a change.
By Cranberry
September 18, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
Lady P, I must respectfully disagree with you as well. This quote is about rocking girl-power. To your point, I would never discount good behanvior. Being polite and respectful will often get you much farther than obnoxious agressiveness.
However! - to the original question: as a descendant of Susan B. Anthony, who worked VERY closely withl Elizabeth Cady Stanton, I know that this quote is used as a slogan at the Susan B. Anthony House and Museum in Rochester, New York. I was raised to believe than I could accomplish anything I set my sites on, woman or not, “establishment” power or not, and I continue to believe that.
Go girls!
By Seressia
September 18, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this
I have this quote (I’m being informal here) on a t-shirt, attributed to Ulrich. I don’t see it as a feminist statement. I see it as an exhortation to be what I want to be, not what society expects of me. Society expects me to be an uneducated, poor, single parent with nappy hair subsidizing my welfare check by starring in a rap video. I have chosen to be a single, financially secure professional woman who travels when she wishes and supplements her nice salary with fiction writing.
Imagine if Susan B Anthony and Alice Paul and others had adhered to what society wanted well-behaved women to be. Ida Barnett. Clara Barton. Harriet Tubman. Soujourner Truth. All women who have made history, and all considered anything but well-behaved in their lifetimes.
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
September 18, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this
That’s my motto!
Atlanta Pearl Girl
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
September 18, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this
And…it’s not about a ‘Britney Bad’ at all….it’s about non-conforming if you believe differently….
By Chas
September 18, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this
This is what makes the quote so effective… its open to interpretation. We can see that from the many responses on the blog. To me it means: Sjourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Sandra Day O’Conner, Cleopatra, Gloria Steinam, Ann Coulter, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Susan Dole, Tina Trudell…. I can go on and on. These women women are often percieved as not well behaved. Im not talking about social manners and graces… Emily Post ect. The classic role of a woman has been much that of a child… to be seen and not heard. The classic role of the man is to be a leader. Every woman who is noted in history chose not to be silent, and not be a follower. She chose to go against the status quo and became a voice, example, or a martyr for what ever cause she believed in. Some of these women declined the traditional roles of women, while others embraced it and gave us a whole new perspective on society from a womans’ point of view. If they chose to be limited by the boundries that society put on them, they would not be names we all know now would they?
By KEITH
September 18, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this
WHO CARE BOUT BAD WEMENS WHUT WE NEEDS IS LESS OB DE WITE MAN LAWS AND VICK BACK TO PLAYIN SO DE FALCONS BE WINNIN AGIN AN VICK BE GWAN GIT DAT RING NOE WHUT IM SAYIN
By GAB
September 18, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this
It could also be said, “Well-behaved MEN don’t make history.” The significance for women is that we are expected to be “little ladies,” i.e. well-behaved, from childhood and we get lots of points for doing just that. Men, on the other hand, are taught to be independent thinkers and “hard chargers,” doing whatever they need to in order to get ahead. If a woman shakes up the establishment with a new idea or a new role for herself, she is condemned for being “unladylike.” I think what the quote is trying to say is that women should stand up for themselves and stop putting society’s restrictions in the way of their own achievement.
By terri
September 18, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this
HA HA HA BLACK REPULICANS WAKE UP! TAVIS SMILEY GAVE A PLATFORM FOR THE REP AND DEM CANDIDATES TO DISCUSS SOME IMPORTANT ISSUES! NONE OF THE FRONT RUNNING REP SHOWED UP! WHAT DOES THAT SAY!!! WAKE UP! VOTE DEMOCRAT! REPUBLICANS DO NOT CARE ABOUT OUR ISSUES!
By Lady P
September 18, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this
Ladies, sadly well-behaved has received a bad image…when has not well-behaved been respected?
I was taught that I could do “anything” also.. Come on…get off of the oh poor me. Don’t we want to teach our daughters that well-behaved can get us everywhere we want to go. I do not see many ill-behaved people getting anywhere successfully…if you count success as I do.
I applaud strong women. I am one.
I applaud each of you. But do not be deceived, wrong is never right. Selah
By who cares
September 18, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this
Hey Terri-Republicans do care about your issues.Like-getting rid of the Muslims so that black people can hip hop. If the Muslims take over, like they are planning with the demoncrats, YOU will have to convert to Islam or be killed. Basketball and football will be replaced with Soccer and you have to pray 5 times a day and give up PORK! the democrats only want to tax you and side with womever will keep them in power. Now, which side are you on? Vote Republican-close the borders and BOMB ALL Muslim fanatics!
By Phil
September 18, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this
I’m so glad to see this conversation has taken a turn toward enlightenment. Sheesh, people. Don’t make me stop this car.
By Anna Burke
September 18, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this
Interesting to know this saying’s origins and that there’s a book out by its creator! I always took the “well-behaved” here to mean “deferential” or - to use an the old phrase - “knowing (your) place,” and what it meant to convey was that if you wanted to change things, you had to SPEAK UP and SPEAK OUT!