ATLarts

By Edward

September 4, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this

Wow, she turned something that can and should be a beautiful, intimate, rewarding experience into a mechanical contrivance for the sake of writing a book about it. And people will reward her for it by buying the book. Amazing. I had sex with my partner every day, sometimes twice a day, and not because we thought we had to or because it was just another chore we tacked onto our schedule. We had sex because we loved each other and the intimacy was just a natural part of that love we shared. We didn’t have sex because we had to, we had it because we WANTED to.

By Tigersaint73

September 4, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

your partner?

By Tom Cruisin

September 4, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

I’d have a better shot at hitting 80 through spaghetti junction than getting a “how you ‘doin” from my wife everynight.

By Kiljoy

September 4, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

I must say, I agree with Edward. Sex in the context of marriage should be viewed as another thing you have to do, like eating, sleeping etc. I love sex but I can’t imagine having it every day. I love ice cream, apple pie and swimming but not to excess and not as ritual.

The worst part about this is that she is now written about this very private bond which should only be shared with her partner.

When I first heard about this, I really thought it was a joke, but I guess not!

By Jim

September 4, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

WOW!!! Must be something to have sex everyday of the year. I wish that my wife would just want to do the deed once a week. She has absolutely no sex drive. Tried everything and as she has said “dont care if I ever have sex again.” We are both in 50’s my sex drive is still strong but her’s is gone. Tried everything from medical to romantic and there is nothing helping. Hope this couple keeps up the fire.

Jim

By itsmorenamorena

September 4, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

Should sex be considered a “gift” or a “duty” if you are married? Hmmm….

By JOHNSON

September 4, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

How can they have SEX everyday? Does she NOT have a peroid?

By EDWARDS BRAGGING

September 4, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

it is probally easier to have sex every day when its two males

By LiasMom

September 4, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

I’ve heard interviews with the woman, and if it’s the same couple, they didn’t actually have sex every single day for a year. (If it’s not the same couple, then there is another one out there that tried the same thing.) The husband in this couple travels for work, and so was not at home every single day. They tried to have sex every single day, when they were both home and there were times when the husband decided that he needed a break. And, you can have sex at “that time of the month” - everything still works - and I’ve heard that it’s one of the best cures for cramps. So, she writes a book to say that taking the time and attention to have sex as a married couple brought them closer — well, duh! It shouldn’t take reading a book to figure that out.

By dittohead

September 4, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

By dittohead

September 4, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

By CINDIE

September 4, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

Bristol Palin tried this…unfortunately it didn’t work out…now she’s not having sex for 9 months!!

But she is getting married. congrats to the little s**!

By steve

September 4, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

I showed this article to my wife hoping she would get the idea. My birthday is ways off, but I told her I would accept it as an early Christmas present. :)

Seriously, we have a very active sex life but everyday seems a little much for either of us. Sometimes, even I am a bit too tired (although not too often).

Should sex be a gift or duty in marriage? I believe the answer is both.

By JustMe

September 4, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Jim, I would have sworn that you were my husband using a pseudonym until you said you and your wife were in your 50’s.

I feel the same way - I could go the rest of my life without sex again and not feel I’d missed anything.

By SUPER

September 4, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

A good present would be for your wife to let you have sex with someone different then your wife, everyday for the year.

By Ganymedes

September 4, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

I would say that this woman understood her husband in a way that most men desperately wish their wives did, and if she didn’t she was willing to take a chance on something which dramatically increased her understanding and their intimacy. For most men, sex is like eating. You can skip a meal every once and a while; sometimes it is a quick McDonalds, other times a luxurious candlelit 7 course meal. Sometimes you eat simply to keep going, other times out of pure pleasure of the shared experience. Skip too many meals and you get irritable and weak. One can foam at the mouth and complain that all men are pigs with one track minds or they can take a tip from this couple and see what happens to their intimacy. A marriage relationship is a commitment and takes work. Later with the responsibilities of a family, romantic intimacy is difficult to maintain without focused effort by both parties. The title focuses on the sex part, as it was the catalyst, but the effect upon their relationship and the attention which the husband gave to his wife demonstrates the natural reciprocation and love when needs are being met. The sex life your spouse has with you, is the only legitimate one they have, what are you doing to make it the best one possible?!

By J

September 4, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

My husband and I did this….and still do. It’s the best thing we ever did. Now for the questions: period? I’m a cancer survivor and don’t have them which is a huge plus. Did we do it every single day? No, some days we made love more than once, which made up for the days we weren’t able to. Is is robotic sex? Heck no!!! Sometimes it’s just stress release sex, other times it’s beautiful. Here’s another thing that has spiced up our sex life: Naked Thursday Night. Once the kids moved out, we planned our own night for just us. No cell phones, no computer, no interruptions. If we chose to watch TV all night, fine. We do whatever we want and our only focus is each other. I hope other couples will read this and adopt a naked night. It’ll do wonders for your relationship.

By Mark

September 4, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Yuck.

By J

September 4, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

My husband and I did this….and still do. It’s the best thing we ever did. Now for the questions: period? I’m a cancer survivor and don’t have them which is a huge plus. Did we do it every single day? No, some days we made love more than once, which made up for the days we weren’t able to. Is is robotic sex? Heck no!!! Sometimes it’s just stress release sex, other times it’s beautiful. Here’s another thing that has spiced up our sex life: Naked Thursday Night. Once the kids moved out, we planned our own night for just us. No cell phones, no computer, no interruptions. If we chose to watch TV all night, fine. We do whatever we want and our only focus is each other. I hope other couples will read this and adopt a naked night. It’ll do wonders for your relationship.

By Another point of view

September 4, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Jim, you’re a good man. Personally if my wife felt like yours I’d give her an opportunity to find a replacement or leave her altogether. Just because she chooses not to enjoy sex doesn’t mean I do. For me without the physical bond there is no emotional bond. I’d hate looking at her. I know, I’m selfish.

My question is what do you get out of it? I’m assuming you provide her with support, security, and whatever else you can conjure up. What are you getting out of the deal? Maybe someone is better that noone.

Having a woman and still not being able to have sex is like not having a woman at all. All the griping/nagging and none of the pleasures. LOL

By slammer

September 4, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

my guess is that most nights they had sex with a hand

By Catz

September 4, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Johnson

I realize this will come as a big shock to you, but………….

Many women actually have sex during their period.

I know, kind of ‘blows’ you away, doesn’t it?

By Indifferent

September 4, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

JustME - I feel sorry for you.

By Fat Phuckers

September 4, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

NC trailer thrash. unfortunately this thrash cannot be recycled. go back to nc.

By Cin

September 4, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

I can’t think of a greater gift to keep the HOME fires burning in a day when marriage is a short term liason at best. Is it possible that a man would be less likely to stray if he KNEW that his wife was interested in him like that “every” night?

For those wishing for the gift of a “different” sexual partner, perhaps you should treat your wife/partner like the kind of sexual partner you would like to have. If you want the thrill of meeting someone in a hotel bar, then treat your wife to that kind of treat. She just might go for the thrill of a “first time” again as well….I mean a night in a hotel, room service, your undivided attention, treating each others as strangers.

But no, I don’t know that I would want to “share” that experience with the world in a book. But then again, I don’t share at all! ; )

By Skram30082

September 4, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

For the other side to this issue…has anyone read the book “I’d Rather Eat Chocolate” by Joan Sewell? That book probably describes the state of most marriages today, although the solution arrived at by the couple in the book is probably not for most marriages.

By Mark

September 4, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Hell, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, that I’ve forgotten who gets tied up!

By tngirl

September 4, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

My husband and I have sex often, not every day, but at least several times a week. I have recently discovered he has developed an addiction to porn. I know that porn is no big deal to some, but that is something I have not been OK with since before we were even married. I now feel like I have been cheated on and don’t want to be with him physically at all, which I know will just make the addiction worse. So, my question is, should couples continue to have sex because because of the man’s need, even when there has been a violation of trust?

By Another point of view

September 4, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Gany great post. Well said.

Tngirl you’ll just be another woman that lets her “feelings” get in the way of her job. And yes it is a job. Some love it and others dont but it’s your responsibilty. I hope if you stop having sex with your husband he does the right thing and leaves you and your feelings all by yourself, that way you can find something else to “feel” about.

Btw, I’m sure your husband doesn’t always “feel” like going out o provide for you but he does it anyway. And if you think you “feel” bad now wait till those single guys get hold of you. LOL

By Clint

September 4, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

How is this news?

By Mark

September 4, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Catz

It’s called a cherry phosphate.

By tngirl

September 4, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

to another point of view - I appreciate your opinion. However, you are making some general assumptions and apparently displacing your “feelings” onto my situation. The reality is that I am the one providing for my husband as he is going back to school full time. I “feel” like doing that because I love him. And because I love him, I will be married to him for the rest of my life. Marriage is good and bad so you enjoy the good and get through the bad.

By Steve L.

September 4, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

I’m trying to think about something I care less about than the sex life of a wannabe Dr. Kinsey. Hmmmmmmmmm…….nope, can’t think of anything yet. I’ll check back in when I do.

By j2

September 4, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

At 65 we don’t have sex every day anymore, but we did at 35 and younger; often more than once a day. (We are a married heterosexual couple.) Yes, there were days of illness, too busy, or other interruptions, but they were not frequent. It wasn’t an agreement, a present, or a duty; it was just that we enjoyed each other. Age is slowing us down, it’s now 3-4 times a week. Neither of us understands those marriages we hear about where it is less than once a week, or once a month, or once a year, or less than 5 times in 10 years. Can anyone explain those?

Edward has it right. Ganymedes is somewhat close but has too much stress on duty. If either feels it is a duty or if one is participating as a duty, the two of you don’t have it right. If you are hungry enough you can eat all sorts of things. If you are deprived enough sexually, you can do all sorts of things. The difference between hunger and sexual desire is that lack of food will eventually kill you. Lack of sex will not kill you and you should not be willing to do anything [have sex with someone because it is their duty, have sex outside your marriage] just because you have been deprived for a while.

By A. Nony Mouse

September 4, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

It sounds fun! Too bad I am single. LOL.

By Another point of view

September 4, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Tngirl I try to produce more than I “feel”. I’ve found that most of the time when I’m feeling it’s because I’m not producing. Strange it works that way.

Listen, your sexual challenge is a state of mind. Somehow you’ve placed more meaning on his love of porn than is necessary. Try reading the Four Agreements. One is never take anything personally. He loves porn for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Why you’re taking it so personally is beyond me. If he loved racing cars would tha bother you too? Listen, stay in your lane and allow him to be “him”.

Most women that spend alot of time forcing situations wind up exes. Do like Demi told Bruce Willis, just lean into it. LOL

By Wow

September 4, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Well put j2!!! 3-4 times a week at 65 is impressive.

By swolf4810

September 4, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

And we’re supposed to care….WHY?

By Cin

September 4, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

tngirl

You have been cheated on. Porn in a marriage to me (my own humble opinion) is like inviting another individual or couple into the bedroom. And your husband is withholding from you by engaging in sex with someone on a computer screen. And yes, he is having sex with someone else on a computer screen because in his mind he is having sex with that person. There are those who will argue my point, but let them. There are many who are addicted this. And many marriages are suffering because of it. Sex is meant to be shared with the person you love. It is meant to be a gift, a sharing of souls. I hope things work out.

By Jeff

September 4, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

CINDIE How is your snide comment relevant to the author and the book being discussed? If you don’t have anything constructive to add to this topic of conversation, please go find another place where you can take cheap shots at other people and play w/ other immature kids. I’m glad I’m not you.

By red

September 4, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

I wonder if any hubbies would consider a gift of no sex for a year to the wives that don’t really enjoy? And yes, without cheating and without attitude!

By Another point of view

September 4, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Cin so you NEVER look at guys with lustful thoughts? You never do things in your mind? If not you either have superior mind control or you’re just not sexual. Guys are visual, they need to see something. If what you say is true every guy on the face of this earth is guilty of cheating, and all the women that are honest enough to admit it. Wow.

By Not Jim

September 4, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

I think that is a wonderful gift that she gave to her husband. Ladies, if you would like to make your man the most happiest in the world, attempt to duplicate her feat.

Awesome woman. I know her husband is still floating :-).

Lucky man.

By notmyname

September 4, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

i find it a shame that all men base their relationships married or not on sex and if there is no sex it’s hardly worth keeping the relationship going — oh but that’s right a man bases his “manliness” his “self” on sex — like i said it’s a shame

By KJ

September 4, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

I wonder if any hubbies would consider a gift of no sex for a year to the wives that don’t really enjoy? And yes, without cheating

Yeah, try that, and let us know how it works out for you.

Also, LOL at those who consider porn = cheating. If you were a good wife, you’d watch the porn WITH him. Unless there are goats and/or children involved, this is normal behavior for 99% of men.

By David

September 4, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

notmyname

No, we just want to nail hot chicks.

By Hardcorp

September 4, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

It’s sad that nothing is a private matter anymore. What’s next, how often they poop or pick their nose? We are a vulgur and unrefined culture!

By Another point of view

September 4, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

Notmyname if your woman won’t have sex with you what exactly is she doing? Somewhere her emotions have overridden her good sense and she forgot what she’s there for. I bet if she wants a child she’ll gladly hop in the sack at a moments notice. Then she’ll expect the man to happily take care of her and the child all the while doling out no sex whatsoever.

Reread **J2’s” post and you can feel the fondness he has for his wife. That comes from 2 people that had an unwritten agreement that they both lived up to and actually enjoyed. If you don’t like sex be upfront and tell the man so he can decide if he wants to stay. He may have a low sex drive or low self esteem and choose to stay.

KJ and David lmao. I guess these chicks think any guy would put up with that mess if he couldn’t get some sex. Wow.

By Two Hatchet

September 4, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

The point being made about lust is not as puritan as “another point” has assumed. The point is that passion is bound to be aroused, but sexual steam should be funneled into the marriage - not be directed to escape through cracks.

By chuckfullonuts

September 4, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

how in the HELL is this news, or for that matter, anyone’s business but their own?

By red

September 4, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

I seriously think is would be a heck of a gift from a husband to give up sex for a year if his wife has a low/no sex drive yet continue to be loving and caring. Just because he loves her and without the expectation of sex. A lot of women would highly appreciate that. Again, no cheating.

By David

September 4, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

red,

I am sure he won’t mind if he is 75, but if the guy is younger, why would he sit through a year of his wife ‘not being in the mood’ or ‘having a headache’. That is not romantic, that is whipped.

By grossed out

September 4, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

Um, she has two kids… if it were my parents I would be totally and completely mortified. Not because they were having sex but because they thought it would be a good idea to share that fact with the whole world. I have the heebie-jeebies from just thinking about it. GROSS!

By red

September 4, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

I’m referring to a GIFT. Not just to be abstaining just to be abstaining. A GIFT like the woman that this blog is referring to. She made this commitment to her husband as a GIFT.

By Another point of view

September 4, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Red after this year off what next? Will she be sexually renewed? Will she need another mental year off? Then an all out time out from life? Seems to me folks have really lost touch with reality.

My recommendation is pick a woman that has similar appetites and then nurture those. Some of these emotionally crippled women should come to terms with the fact that guys want sex, with them or without them.

Btw, it’s not love that makes a woman want to please her mate, it’s respect. Plenty of women love their mates but dont want them to touch her. A woman that respects her mate gives him everything she can. Maybe thats whats lacking.

By red

September 4, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

My point is getting totally missed. All I’m saying is if this woman can give her husband this gift of sex nightly for a year maybe, possibly a husband can see his way to extend such a gift to his wife. Especially if she for whatever reason has a low sex drive. That was be some gift. To have your husbands love and affection without him wanting anything in return. I’m not talking about giving her a break I’m talking about giving her a GIFT.

By David

September 4, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

It is a problem if the wife wants a gift of no sex.

By KJ

September 4, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

If a woman regards “no sex for a year” as a gift, she doesn’t belong in a marriage, she belongs in a convent.

Um, she has two kids… if it were my parents I would be totally and completely mortified. Not because they were having sex but because they thought it would be a good idea to share that fact with the whole world. I have the heebie-jeebies from just thinking about it. GROSS!

Yeah, just think about that big, white, wrinkly body on top of you…. with his loose skin, and old…. balls

By red

September 4, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

She’s not requesting No Sex For A Year. The husband is recognizing that his wife has a low/no sex drive for whatever reason and he Offers this GIFT out of love for her. Why is it so hard to get this point across. She is not asking, no more than this woman husband asked for a year of sex. It is gift to her from the husband!!!!! He’s considering it a GIFT!!!

By red

September 4, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

I give up and am signing off now.

By Kate

September 4, 2008 5:26 PM | Link to this

You want us to post a G-rated blog about sex? Isn’t that an oxymoron?? :)

And if my husband sees your blog and gets ideas, I’m giving him your number!!

By KJ

September 4, 2008 5:53 PM | Link to this

I give up

On marriage? Probably for the best, given your attitude.