Fayette.Talk

By Mort Merkel

December 22, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Teens are still children and therefore still under parental supervision. Yes, $120 is way too much for a teen to spend on a friend.

When did gift-giving among kid friends become the norm? I do not recall any gift giving other than at school parties. My oldest daughter and her peers were not prolific gift givers to each other at Christmas. For my youngest, yes. I don’t understand it. Gift giving at Christmas should be pretty much a family thing.

But, then again I don’t understand why kids now have to hug each other between classes like long lost souls after not seeing each other for a whole hour.

By Penguinmom

December 22, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Part of the problem with large expenditures is that there can be pressure on the other person to match the gift in some way. Maybe the teen’s friends can’t afford to give her $100+ gifts but then they will feel bad for not being able to. Another possibility is that the friendship could become somewhat of ‘I like you because you can buy me things’ and when that ability goes away, the friendship goes away also.

I had a co-worker who was a freshman in college who bought her boyfriend a new TV. His parents didn’t let him accept the gift and she got pretty upset. I think his parents were correct.

Anyway don’t most of these teens have college coming up, shouldn’t some of that money be squirreled away for that?

By FultonTeacher

December 22, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

My daughter and her friends have been exchanging gifts since middle school. I recall doing it with my friends in high school. They never spend too much on each other, maybe $25. That’s a good amount in my opinion. She’s too young to work, so she does her chores at home and saves her money. Works for me. I would think that $120 is too much to spend if she ever made that decision, however knowing my daughter, that won’t ever be a problem. She’s pretty grounded.

As for kids hugging each other, it’s just how they are. I teach teens and that’s something I find refreshing. It’s much better than having them punch each other all day.

By lilly

December 22, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Back in the day when I was in high school, i made cookies and brought them to lucnh to share with my close friends. Tho my very best friend and I would exchange gifts, but we were more like sisters. We did everything together, if i recall correctly, he parents grounded me more times than my own did. I remeber one year we both wanted to go to a concert so badly, but tickets were outrageous, so she came up with half, and her parents gave up the other half (i didn’t know what they had planned or i would have contributed also) and that was her family’s christmas gift to me that year. It was a wonderful memory of mine. More on topic, I say spending money on someone who has been your childs CLOSE friend for several years is ok, but the others is a waste of money. On the other habd, it might be a good life lesson in money management ie:oh susie wants to go _, oh but she has no money cause she wasted on ‘friends’. oh well susie, perhaps you should have took your parents advice and not spent all you money on people whom you probly won’t remeber 5 years from now.

By Mattie

December 22, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

I have all boys, and they don’t exchange gifts with their friends, but I have a similar issue with gift buying for “girlfriends”. I keep my mouth shut, since they all have jobs they can spend what they want, but the girls seem to go way over the top. One of my sons received an authentic ($150+) football jersey from a girl he isn’t even dating! Another son exchanged pretty equal gifts with his girlfriend, but then her parents spent almost as much on him as the girl did! It didn’t even cross my mind to buy gifts for their friends. I wouldn’t buy for a girlfriend unless they had been dating for a considerable time, like over 6 months.

By juan

December 22, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

I say that gift giving between friends is perfectly fine so long as it don’t get to the point where you HAVE to get really expensive gifts all the time an expensive gift here and ther is fine. Just make sure not make a habit out if it.

By juan

December 22, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

I say that gift giving between friends is perfectly fine so long as it don’t get to the point where you HAVE to get really expensive gifts all the time an expensive gift here and ther is fine. Just make sure not make a habit out if it.

By Mort Merkel

December 22, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

Fulton Teacher, boys “frogging,” each other on the arms is the proper way for males to bond.

By trudge

December 22, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

If you treat your teens as if they’re still five years old, they’ll continue to act that age. Sooner or later, they have to be allowed to blow their own money and learn where that leads

If they’re spending money they’ve earned, then they should be able to make their own decisions and suffer the consequences. (That also means no…ahem…bailout packages from you.)

By HS Teacher

December 22, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

We always seem to have a few break up before Christmas or Valentine’s so they don’t have to spend $$.

I say, you earn it, you spend it. But do not ask for money or a loan if you don’t have enough to last until payday. Bailing out teens does not help them learn how to stick to a budget and plan for their needs.

Money has really tighten the last few months for teens. Many have been laid off and jobs are not there. More will have to park that car.

In the 60s we baked cookies, brownies, and sewed simple items as gifts for friends and teachers in HS.

By nana

December 22, 2008 5:45 PM | Link to this

My kids are grown but the youngest was a teen not too long ago. I say if they earn their own money let them spend what they want. As long as they understand that if they spend all their money on friends’ gifts before they get what they want, then they’ll go without until they get some more of their own money. As parents there are enough things that we have to buy/provide….that doesn’t include our kids’ friends gifts at least when they’re teens.

By Kaybee

December 23, 2008 7:36 AM | Link to this

Someone mentioned saving for college — I think this is a really good point. Should kids be blowing $120 on concert tickets (for themselves or as a gift) if Mom and Dad are both working trying to put money away so that child can go to college in a few years? Perhaps this is a good time to teach responsibility, long-term saving, and how true friendships don’t require spending massive amounts of money.

I have three daughters and my oldest is 14, so we’re not quite there yet. It’s great to have these blogs to get the benefit of everyone else’s wisdom and experience before I have to cross these bridges myself!

By heather

December 24, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

In my opinion (I was a stubborn, hard-headed child), if you don’t allow someone to spend the money that they earned how they see fit, they don’t have much of an incentive to earn the money in the first place. Why break your butt to make money if you have to spend it how someone else thinks is best? I think parents should offer advice, but ultimately, it’s a decision that the money-earner needs to make. Better to learn it while still under the parents roof, than when out on their own and not able to make rent or utilities.